Compose me a witty response...

chambta

I'd been plagued by calls at home from a company calling themselves 'Control Account PLC'. I emailed them asking them to make their intentions known or to b*gger off.

I'd like to have some fun with them but don't want to if it could leave me on a sticky wicket as it were.

This is their response...

[FONT=&quot]Good Morning[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Our contact relates to four outstanding amounts owed to Euro Car Parks Ltd for unpaid Parking Charge notices totalling £485. The references for these accounts are 110***6, 118***1, 118***2, 118***3 and are for notices incurred at **** & ********* .[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]These amounts should be paid at your earliest opportunity and I have attached details of ways to pay the amount owing. These account will remain active until this matter is settled.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]If you have any queries about this please contact us on 0845 6808745 quoting the reference numbers given above.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Kind Regards[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Karen[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Collections Team[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Control[/FONT][FONT=&quot]account plc[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot][EMAIL="collections@controlaccount.com"]collections@controlaccount.com[/EMAIL] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]www.controlaccount.com[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]t:[/FONT][FONT=&quot] +44 (0) 845 680 8745 f: +44 (0)845 6808746 [/FONT]

RENEGADE_2

£485? Wishful thinking.

Just continue to swear at them on the phone, or place the set next to an extremely loud speaker and burn their ears.

chambta

RENEGADE wrote: »

£485? Wishful thinking.

Just continue to swear at them on the phone, or place the set next to an extremely loud speaker and burn their ears.

I've never had the pleasure of speaking to them hence my email. They call during the day when I'm at work and leave a telephone number and reference number that my good lady pretends to take down.

My inquisitive nature got the better of me so I contacted them.

Kite2010

From the other thread:

Dear Karen

Thank you very much for your email, I will get around to paying as soon as I finish building my spaceship to fly to the moon and back.

Kind Regards

Chambta

Or

Dear Karen

The person you want to be chasing for these debts is the driver, he is Dave of number 10, SW1A 2AA. Telephone number 020 7925 0918.

Kind Regards

Chambta

chambta

Keep 'em coming. The best one wins a lifetime's free parking at your local Lidl store.

Kite2010

chambta wrote: »

Keep 'em coming. The best one wins a lifetime's free parking at your local Lidl store.

Not really a good prize for me as my local Lidl's car-park is council run (get a refund in store if you spend £5+)

chambta

Kite2010 wrote: »

Not really a good prize for me as my local Lidl's car-park is council run (get a refund in store if you spend £5+)

Surely that makes it a better prize!

Kite2010

And pay the council money to park after 4pm when every other car-park is free?

Plushchris

Just string them along with a few odd sounding questions.

"Hi Karen,

Sorry but those account reference numbers you sent me do not match the reference numbers I have on file, are you sure they are correct?"

Then when you get the obvious "yes they are correct" email reply with..

"So are you saying the five separate parking invoice numbers ive got written here are all wrong?"

When she asks you for the reference numbers you have, say you are worried about data protection and send them in a document attached to the email, forget to attach the document several times, blame it on your printer or your cat, then attach a blank document several times. Attach an unopenable encrypted document (you forgot the password)

Repeat until she gets fed up, and remember, only 1 question per email/letter, but have plenty of questions, each answer should cause another question.. Sometimes can be fun when you have to start thinking of other questions to ask..

Or, ignore them all, depends how much fun you want to have.

chambta

I'd like to have fun. Nice idea. Perhaps offer to meet her somewhere with the cash?

Plushchris

chambta wrote: »

I'd like to have fun. Nice idea. Perhaps offer to meet her somewhere with the cash?

Too easy, better to have your PA/Secretary/Butler/Nanny whoever do it for you, then you can blame them for going to the wrong place, getting a parking ticket etc.