Drowning!!!

hannahroberts1985

:wave:Hey,

Hope your having a good day.

I have read throught your post. I can see why people are getting frustrared with your desisions and i'm sure one day you will look back and understand why. After a while of being fugal you question every penny spent.

I just wanted to say congratulations on taking the first step by starting your diary :T and stick at it keep taking the small steps to change your situation and you'll be running before you know it.

xx

exarmydreamer

Really sorry to keep hearing the excuses, I hope the £50.00 lasts you a week. Just wondering, have you stopped claiming all benefits for her whilst she's away i.e Child Benefit and Tax Credits. Your SOA, showed no benefits?, she's been gone 2 weeks. As your original post stated you were going to seek CSA, from your ex so, are you aware you are not the parent with care, so can't claim CSA whilst she's away too. I take it she has gone to a non EU country.

I'm sure that the relevant authorities are aware that she is out of the country for 10 months!!!, but it appears not her father. Trying really hard not to sound judgemental, Good Luck.

*Robin*

Tonibetha, I see that you haven't posted since lunchtime yesterday - do hope you have not already abandoned your diary, but are considering how to make changes in your life that will earn you :T :T from your new MSE cyber-family.

As usual with posting on here, gradually extra detail emerges which makes your position more understandable to those who are reading.

I am more worried now that you have told us your mother was encouraging you to let her take your daughter 'home' - despite being too frail to care for the child herself:

tonibetha wrote: »

[/COLOR]actually she thot it was a really good idea, and was there to reassure me it was for the best during my moments of self doubt

Hmm. A maid, MTV subscription, an allowance for child-care that would be generous in the UK, let alone your West African home..
I cannot help wondering who this scheme is designed to benefit?
Not you and not DD while you are parted.
Well, you are committed at least until Christmas - which gives you an opportunity to make lots of changes, without the many distractions of caring for a toddler. That's a positive; but you owe it to your DD to make the most of the next couple of months.

tonibetha wrote: »

actually,i'm only paying interest on my overdraft at the moment (lots of 0% balance transfer deals which are due to end in the next few months.

That's not what you put in your SOA:

tonibetha wrote: »

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
HSBC credit card...............1000......18.25.....21.9
HSBC overdraft.................2250......37.32.....19.9
Family.........................8922.9....660...... .0
Barclaycard two................1085......23.85.....29.9
Barclaycard one................5800.84...130.5.....19.9
Lloyds.........................667.52....11.5..... .20.9
Capital one....................2400......43.8......21.9
Natwest Credit card............1867.25...42.02.....21.9
HSBC loan......................7152.93...250.......8.9
Total unsecured debts..........31146.44..1217.24...-

Looks to me like the only debt at 0% is the loan from your family. ..Maybe you'd better look at your statements a bit more closely?

As for the make-up thing. First you told us you'd bought two items, then you changed that after receiving unfavourable comment, saying you'd got more things for the cost. I wonder why?

tonibetha wrote: »

i need the hand cream cos i work in a hospital and was my hands more than 20 times a day. as a result, they are so dry they are cracked and bleed sometimes. i actually wanted E45, but it was £3+, so i got vaseline which was £1.49. can't carry the big aqueous cream around with me during work

Vaseline? A very odd choice; sticky and greasy. Here's a tip; once you've signed up to Freecycle and/or Freagle, put up a wanted ad for a mature aloe vera plant. Cut a leaf and smear the gel over your hands each night for about half an hour before you shower. Works wonders.

tonibetha

@Robin: Regarding the makeup stuff, u will find that i tend to summarize a lot unless i am pushed. i consider myself a person of few words...

My mum is not frail (my dad is slightly frail, tho he denies it), but she is elderly, and as such has medical conditions which means she should not be doing a lot of physical work. For instance, bending down to bathe DD (she has a slipped disc), or carrying DD for long distances (DD loves to be carried, and a buggy is out of place in my country). They do drive but she needs to be carried over any walking distances (she is not quite 2 - oct 21!)

actually picked the vaseline cos i didnt want the store brand (which i had tried before and dont like), and it was the cheapest good brand i saw there (used it for two days now, and i like it, it is slightly sticky, but my hands were extra dry, so making progress!)

Re the debts, i put the interest rates as the balance transfer deals shld be running out soon. oh, forgot about my loan (got that @ 8.9, so its set anyway).

The cable thing is not that expensive there. DD has been watching Disney Junior and mtv, so i didnt want her to go and not have the things she is used to (bad enough that i'm not there!).

@exarmydreamer: i dont get tax credits, thanks to the April budget....i realise its hard to understand why i haven't told her father, but i dont really expect him to ask for anytime soon...i am a bit worried about his reaction. DD is only on an extended holiday, she still lives here

tonibetha

So i did the budgetbrain thing today, cutting things like clothes and hair etc (which i'm hoping to save for with my £50 a week). Seems i can afford to pay £500 a month for my debts, if i'm very strict. i'm actually thinking of getting an evening job, as i want to pay my debts ASAP.

tonibetha

Spend diary

Groceries budget £15/week (Sun - Sat)
Today: Eggs £1.99
Balance: £13.01

I've managed to avoid any further spend over the last 2 days

tonibetha

im porbably going to redo my soa to fit my budgetbrain profile

Heffi1

That is a good idea, it will give you more chance to see where you could make savings, we are here to try to help you tonibetha, it might seem like we are being harsh, but sometimes you have to look at the negative stuff too in order to put things right. Keep trying and you will get there one day.

tonibetha

i'm feeling so depressed after doing the budgetbrain thing. Going to have to make so many cutbacks

Allypops

tonibetha wrote: »

Spend diary

Groceries budget £15/week (Sun - Sat)
Today: Eggs £1.99
Balance: £13.01

I've managed to avoid any further spend over the last 2 days

Well done. It also sounds like you are going through everything and working out where you can cut down.

It will be really tough at times, but it will be worth it in the long run if you can get rid of the debt. By the time the debts have gone you will have learnt good habits that will stand you in good stead for the future. (That's what I am hoping will happen in my case anyway )

I hope you keep posting about your progress.

Allypops