Am I being unreasonable?

Sgt_Pepper_2

photome wrote: »

How can someone who signs on once a fortnight afford all that petrol and be able to smoke?

None of my business of course

A bit of DLA?

Dustykitten wrote: »

Is your Mum still planning on taking you to New York for your 21st?

She doesn't sound unreasonable to me.

VfM4meplse

iammarmite wrote: »

I think I have been more than considerate and generous.

Really? Are you paying for your own keep too, or might your parents be showing you lots of consideration and generosity?

41_and_i_know_it

iammarmite wrote: »

In June my mum brought a a car- I was insured on it based on me paying £150 towards insurance and petrol a month. I was fine was this as I was desperate to get back on the road after living with no car in the middle of nowhere for 9 months.

Before she even got it we agreed I would be able to use it for 3 days a week- one day I need to go to Work programme, the other day physio and the third day would only be every fortnight for signing on. Obviously I have used it other times to- mainly running to the supermarket for her, taking her dry cleaning to the dry cleaners, picking various things up for her from town. I have only twice used it for personal use- once to visit a friend in Chester who was in hospital and another time to see a friend for birthday drinks.

I have paid for EVERY tank of petrol (bar one or two) that has gone into that car since we have had it despite the original agreement that I would only have to contribute the £150 a month- its working out about £150/200 a month on petrol alone. Somehow we have done 4,000 miles in just over 3 months. I have shown both my parents my bank statements back to the day we got the car how much money i've spent at our local shell garage.

I have looked after the car- I wash it every Saturday, make sure I don't eat or drink in it (or anyone else), I don't smoke in it.

I think I have been more than considerate and generous. I know I am incredibly lucky to have access to it- but all the money I have spent on petrol (plus the £35 bottle of Scotch and £10 bunch of flowers as a thank you) is obviously not enough for her and she has told me she is taking me off the insurance tomorrow because "i'm taking the mickey"

I should also probably point out- every week I have to fill up that car. She was away for three weeks and the tank was still 1/4 full when she came back. Thats how much I use it.

What can I do to get her to see sense? I don't think i'm being unreasonable at all by being a little miffed that she can't even appreciate that she has had to spend about £100 on petrol in the last three months, that I look after her car and ALWAYS let her have priority plus running errands for her.

:mad:

She is dominating you the way only a close family member can get away with, she knows which buttons to press.
2 choices :- get your own car because then you'll have control
say that agreement not working and she'll realise how much a car costs to run, she'll soon come running

iammarmite

Dustykitten wrote: »

Is your Mum still planning on taking you to

She doesn't sound unreasonable to me.

Seeing as I am playing for the flights and my grandparents are paying for the hotel- it really isn't anything to do with her. Fail to see how it is your business if im honest?

Get a hobby. It sounds like you need one.

iammarmite

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Really? Are you paying for your own keep too, or might your parents be showing you lots of consideration and generosity?

Not that it is any of buisness...but yes, I am. Off my own back might I add.

iammarmite

photome wrote: »

How can someone who signs on once a fortnight afford all that petrol and be able to smoke?

None of my business of course

Correct.

Dustykitten

iammarmite wrote: »

Seeing as I am playing for the flights and my grandparents are paying for the hotel- it really isn't anything to do with her. Fail to see how it is your business if im honest?

Get a hobby. It sounds like you need one.

Thanks for your kind thoughts but I'm just wasting time on here until 10:30 when I need to go and pick up my 16 your old from his part time job. Just like last night when I was waiting up to collect my 18 year old from his part time job.

You see one is too young to drive (but not to work) and the other can't afford a car (and we can't afford for him to go on our insurance).

The lovely thing is both will be very grateful to me for doing this and fully understand how expensive cars are.

JQ.

iammarmite wrote: »

Not that it is any of buisness...but yes, I am. Off my own back might I add.

So you're not unemployed and living at home with your parents then?

Sgt_Pepper_2

iammarmite wrote: »

Not that it is any of buisness...but yes, I am. Off my own back might I add.

Off our taxes you mean.

Mindless_Clone

McKneff wrote: »

Be unavailable when she want 'running' somewhere. Or running errands for her.

Well, OP will be unavailable since they are no longer insured to drive it.

I'd just let her get on with it and count your blessings for what you save.
I must admit, I am baffled how you manage to pay your keep and fund £150 a month for a car (and I'm not touching the whole smoking thing or the paying for flights to NY) when you're signing on. But that's your business.