What is your opinion on children before marriage?

margaretclare

I believe that 'a generation' is usually considered to be 20 years.

Metranil_Vavin

I am not married and have a child and one on the way.

I'm not anti-marriage, just haven't been bothered to get round to doing it yet, so many other (in my opinion) important things to do/spend our money on.

we will get round to it one day.

themull1

I was married when i had my two kids, just not married to the father!! Brief history of my life - Got married, unhappy for years, met nice man, had two kids, got divorced, got married, unhappy, met nice man, divorced second husband, live with nice man and my kids.

marisco_2

kimbyanne wrote: »

For me, I think I would prefer to be married before I have children purely on how I was raised (my grandad was very old fashioned and use to constantly go on about how you must be married before having children so it was drummed into me) However, if I wasn't married I don't think it would be a massive issue for me.

I am just wondering what others think?

I was raised the same way by parents and grandparents that had very old fashioned views. They tried to drum it into me that sex before marriage was wrong as was living together. I listened to some of what they said, but not all of it

I will actively be encouraging my sons to live with any future partners they have before even considering marriage. Really getting to know a person inside out before commiting to them. I think it is an extremely sensible thing to do.

I think it is important to have a really strong and stable relationship before having children, that doesn't mean you have to be married though. Once you have the patter of tiny feet as a factor in your relationship all manner of pressures come about. I also think it is best to be as financially strong as possible too.

FATBALLZ

Errata wrote: »

Statistics show that on average living together relationships don't last as long as marriages. On that basis it would seem sensible to have children inside a marriage.

If that isn't a total abuse of statistics I don't know what is.

Marriage is like religion. If you can think for yourself, you don't need it.

balletshoes

marisco wrote: »

I was raised the same way by parents and grandparents that had very old fashioned views. They tried to drum it into me that sex before marriage was wrong as was living together. I listened to some of what they said, but not all of it

I will actively be encouraging my sons to live with any future partners they have before even considering marriage. Really getting to know a person inside out before commiting to them. I think it is an extremely sensible thing to do.


I think it is important to have a really strong and stable relationship before having children, that doesn't mean you have to be married though. Once you have the patter of tiny feet as a factor in your relationship all manner of pressures come about. I also think it is best to be as financially strong as possible too.

me too, I would rather my daughter (when the time comes) lives with a partner before marrying them.

Errata

margaretclare wrote: »

I believe that 'a generation' is usually considered to be 20 years.

I think historians and sociologists agree on 25 years as that's the age when it's fairly feasible for one generation to give birth to the next.
Of course, it's wise to bear in mind that each generation thinks it's invented sex despite evidence to the contrary, and the fact that a third of all Victorian brides went to the altar pregnant.

[Deleted User]

Did the courting. Then the saving. Then the marriage. Then lived together in a house we started to buy. Did a bit more saving but was happy with second hand furniture. Made a home. Then had our children. We all had the same surname and the children had security. It was the old fashioned way but it worked and our children saw and learnt and did the very same. Their children are growing and they are also learning about nest building, stability and security. To that add love, which was always present in bucketfuls

FBaby

Marriage in itself is irrelevant. What is important is that both parents are ready to welcome a child in their lives and love them. Yes, it is more likely that a married couple falls in that category, but not forceably.

scottishchick27

kittie wrote: »

Did the courting. Then the saving. Then the marriage. Then lived together in a house we started to buy. Did a bit more saving but was happy with second hand furniture. Made a home. Then had our children. We all had the same surname and the children had security. It was the old fashioned way but it worked and our children saw and learnt and did the very same. Their children are growing and they are also learning about nest building, stability and security. To that add love, which was always present in bucketfuls

Did the courting, lived together for 3 years, bought a house, had a baby. Eleven years later we are still together and baby number 2 is due next month. I changed my surname to his and we have written wills. Our daughter has security. My parents have been married 38 years and my grandparents have been married 60 years. I don't need to be married to teach my daughter and soon to be son stability and security and certainly don't need it for there to be love.