What is your opinion on children before marriage?

Errata

Idiophreak wrote: »

Interesting you say that marriage has been devalued of late, I find quite the opposite. I know the reasons that I chose to get married - and the reasons my friends and family have made this choice. I think love, commitment and even having someone bless your union are all better reasons to get married than "if I get married, I can finally move out of home and get my leg over" which seems very much to have been the attitude a couple of generations ago. Marriage is now something you do because you want to, not because you feel you have to. To me, marriage is more powerful now than ever.

Sorry - not even close :rotfl:

JimmyTheWig

Noctu wrote: »

avoid bullying.

margaretclare wrote: »

Opinions have changed a lot over the past couple of generations, but there used to be a nasty word which was applied to children born out of wedlock.

Is that the sort of bullying that you meant, Nocto?
I don't think that really exists these days.

I'd go as far as to say that it is commonplace enough that you wouldn't know whose parents were married and whose weren't.

cheepskate_2

I dont really think marriage is important....

But I do agree with Alikay, its the stability of a relationship, married or not.

I think its so sad in this day and age that some, and dependent on the area- quite a few children don't have a clue who their biological father is or never see them at best.

Some women now just seem to think aahh I love him,usually after 6 months(in between splitting up 6 times) wouldn't it be great to have a baby. No wonder we have so many menfolk that don't take an interest in their children, or only take an interest while still with the mum.

JimmyTheWig

Incidentally, our first was born when we were engaged. Our younger three born when married.
I don't feel it made any difference. Other than our eldest got to be at our wedding, which was nice.

Idiophreak

Errata wrote: »

Sorry - not even close :rotfl:

Meh, I've (bizarrely) spoken to quite a few older ladies on the subject...and quite a lot of them just don't see the point in it if you're going to live together first...you'd be surprised how often the phrase "why buy the cow..." comes up....

Errata

Idiophreak wrote: »

Meh, I've (bizarrely) spoken to quite a few older ladies on the subject...and quite a lot of them just don't see the point in it if you're going to live together first...you'd be surprised how often the phrase "why buy the cow..." comes up....

Quite, but I'm not sure what that has to do with your statement "if I get married, I can finally move out of home and get my leg over" which seems very much to have been the attitude a couple of generations ago."
Plenty of people living with their parents were having sex outside marriage a couple of generations ago, or did the swinging sixties not happen in your town?

Noctu

Idiophreak wrote: »

I think love, commitment and even having someone bless your union are all better reasons to get married than "if I get married, I can finally move out of home and get my leg over" which seems very much to have been the attitude a couple of generations ago.

Absolutely, hence so many middle aged+ couples splitting up nowadays as they married their first/second boyfriend/girlfriend and wanted the lifestyle that marriage brought!

My mum did just that, married her second ever boyfriend because she wanted to move out of the family home... (they are now divorced and I am the product of a rebound boyfriend! LOL)

Noctu

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Is that the sort of bullying that you meant, Nocto?
I don't think that really exists these days.

I'd go as far as to say that it is commonplace enough that you wouldn't know whose parents were married and whose weren't.

Yes, I experienced it as a child growing up in the late 80s/early 90s - I had the same surname as my Mum but she was a single parent and my Dad wasn't around.

Although you are quite right, I don't know the prevalence of it nowadays, and I suspect it no longer matters...

faerie~spangles

Don't get me started.

Or


Call me old fashioned.

JimmyTheWig

Errata wrote: »

Quite, but I'm not sure what that has to do with your statement "if I get married, I can finally move out of home and get my leg over" which seems very much to have been the attitude a couple of generations ago."
Plenty of people living with their parents were having sex outside marriage a couple of generations ago, or did the swinging sixties not happen in your town?

Maybe it's an age thing.
My parents were "courting" in the "swinging sixties". A couple of generations ago to me means my grandparents. Significantly before the sixties.