What is your opinion on children before marriage?

Idiophreak

Mojisola wrote: »

But you never know what life will throw at you.

If you are totally committed to each other and your children, what's the problem with the bit of paper if it does give you some security, particularly regarding IHT.

No idea. I've no problem with it, hence I'm married..but if other people really don't want to do it, I've no problem - as long as they're doing something else sensible to ensure the financial security of their children if they die.

pinky83

I see no problem in having a child outside of marriage, as long as you feel stable and committed enough as a couple to take on the life long responsibility together. Yes marriage makes things "official" but I don't think it better prepares you in any way.

Saying this, we had our first child before we were married so I am probably slightly bias on the situation!!

mrcow

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Agreed. But why NOT get married if you love each other and have children together?

Perhaps they just don't want to?

Perhaps they don't see it as important?

Why force yourself to go through a pointless ceremony just because someone else may think it's more important than you do?

Idiophreak

pinky83 wrote: »

Yes marriage makes things "official" but I don't think it better prepares you in any way.

In general, I think you're right...but I will say, I actually found the "marriage preparation" classes I had to go on before my wedding quite useful. I got quite a bit out of it, and I already lived with my partner...I think for the couples there that had never lived together (there were rather more than I'd expected), it was very valuable as it offered a lot of practical advice about living together, how to manage finances etc and how to work through problems. I found the bit about having and raising children really interesting and not as "churchy" as I was afraid it was going to be.

Of course, most people don't have those before the wedding these days, anyway