What is your opinion on children before marriage?

glitter_fairy

Idiophreak wrote: »

What if they're not, though? Can you judge then?

Personally, I definitely judge mothers I see smoking whilst holding their baby. I judge people I see effing, blinding and beating their children in supermarkets and I judge plenty of other people I see generally mistreating their children.

I have to say, I'd never really considered that this makes me smallminded....but if that's the case, I'd rather be that way than just not care.

I judge those who mistreat children yes, I meant more about people judging small un important things like if you are wearing a wedding ring etc.

Sorry if im not being clear i am on some pretty strong painkillers

Mojisola

glitter_fairy wrote: »

As long as the children are loved and well cared for thats what matters.

It also matters that the parents have done all the legal stuff they need to in order to ensure the family unit will be financially secure after the death of one of the parents.

A marriage takes care of a lot of this.

glitter_fairy

Mojisola wrote: »

It also matters that the parents have done all the legal stuff they need to in order to ensure the family unit will be financially secure after the death of one of the parents.

A marriage takes care of a lot of this.

It does but Im sure its not the only way. Marriage was/is important to me but Im not going to look down my nose at people who did things differently than I did.

SmallL

I have been in a relationship for just over 5 years, i wouldnt mind either way, children before or after marriage.
However the OH has a large family so i suspect a wedding would cost a fair bit, i think i would rather spend that money raising a child than paying for a wedding that would appease others.

Mojisola

glitter_fairy wrote: »

It does but Im sure its not the only way. Marriage was/is important to me but Im not going to look down my nose at people who did things differently than I did.

Neither am I but having that marriage certificate means that, in the event of an early death, the surviving parent could claim a Bereavement Payment and Widowed Parent's Allowance. There would be an exemption for IHT.

If there isn't a will, the surviving partner would have no claim on the estate. The next of kin would be the children or other blood relations of the partner if there are no surviving children. If the couple own their own home and haven't got the ownership right, the survivor could have to sell up in order to pay out the money to the estate beneficiaries.

It gets even messier if the deceased has children from a previous relationship.

A visit to the registry office can solve a lot of problems.

Idiophreak

Mojisola wrote: »

A visit to the registry office can solve a lot of problems.

As glitter_fairy said, though - this isn't the only way of achieving the same thing.

Frankly, though, I think it's by far the *easiest* way of getting everything right...

Mojisola

Idiophreak wrote: »

As glitter_fairy said, though - this isn't the only way of achieving the same thing.

Frankly, though, I think it's by far the *easiest* way of getting everything right...

I don't see how you can become entitled to benefits or tax reliefs that only apply to spouses in any other way.

Idiophreak

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't see how you can become entitled to benefits or tax reliefs that only apply to spouses in any other way.

...but you don't necessarily need benefits or tax relief to "ensure the family unit will be financially secure"...

daska

Aubergine wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. We've just bought our first house in joint names and I'm now in the process of organising our wills. We can get them done free so much cheaper than a wedding anyway!

In the short term yes, but bear in mind that Wills can be re-written at any time without the former beneficiaries being informed. So a will is no protection against ill-will.

Mojisola

Idiophreak wrote: »

...but you don't necessarily need benefits or tax relief to "ensure the family unit will be financially secure"...

But you never know what life will throw at you.

If you are totally committed to each other and your children, what's the problem with the bit of paper if it does give you some security, particularly regarding IHT.