Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

threemuttleys

My little boy (2 next month) has all of his meals/food at the table with us, as a family. He was sitting with us when he was 6 months old.

He does not have to eat all of his dinner, he has little phases of not wanting to eat. That is fine, he has a little toy or something to play with.

One the occasions that he does not eat much of his dinner, then pudding is a piece of fruit, rather than ice cream (for eg)

Having said that, we do have the occasional treat night. Where OH, DS and myself snuggle on the sofa and we will munch a bag of popcorn or similar. BUT even then, he has to be sat on the sofa, not wondering about

Raksha

I have three nearly grown up sons. All three were expected to stay at the table until the meal was finished (plates did NOT have to be cleared, but they weren't going to get away any earlier by eating all that was on their plates). This was rewarded by including them in the conversation (bribery can easily be turned around and used against you). They were taken to restaurants literally from a few weeks of age. They would be horrified at small children being allowed to run around - if nothing else for the danger aspect in a room with hot tea and coffee and plates of hot food being carried around.

fawd1

I'm amazed at the number of people telling the OP that he is controlling, and should listen to his daughters wishes. I may be wrong, but I assume he is talking about ocassions in which the GC is at HIS house? Why on earth would he not expect the GC to follow normal rules of table manners in his home? I know that my mother and I do things differently ref: children, so when I look after my children I do things as I want (obviously) but when they in her house, they follow her rules. Much like I do I should say.

And as for the poster saying you don't MAKE a 3 year old do anything, you encourage them, if I followed that way of thinking, I don't think my 2 year old would have had clothes on since a year ago, my 3 year old would eat constantly and neither one of them would ever wash their hair. Of course you MAKE children do things. Otherwise they'd do what they wanted, and frankly, they're children, so what they want is not, in all likelihood, particularly good for them.

Apart from anything else, teaching good manners from day one stops almighty battles when they're older. The same goes for eating fruit/veg etc. If I didn't MAKE my children eat veg, they never would have past the puree stage. As it is, we had a couple of meal times of "you can't leave the table until you've had at least 3 bites of vegetable" that went on for hours..... Now they both eat their vegetables first, and actually enjoy some of it.

P.s. My in laws refuse to take my 2 nephews out for dinner (8 and 3) because they were told they could get up from the table to play etc then come back and eat a bit more because it's easier. They'll quite happily take my 2 because they know they'lll sit with everyone, then when they're finished eating ask if they can get down. If Grandad and Nanny say it's ok, then they can get down. Otherwise they put up and shut up!

threemuttleys

See, my DS goes to his Grandparents a lot (every weekend at least) and I know that his Grandma will give him a biscuit, and he does eat and walk (usually to plonk himself next to grandad)

I dont view this as a problem...Grandparents are there to spoil them!

POPPYOSCAR

OP I agree with you.

Your house = your rules IMO.

IMO your daughter is storing up trouble allowing this to happen but that will be her problem.

However, in your own home you are perfectly within your rights to expect a certain level of behaviour, this is in no way dictating to your daughter how she brings her child up.

Afterall, if she allowed your grandson to run all over the furniture with his shoes on at home would/should you do the same for example?

andygb

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

Then you're wrong. Do you often feel the need to be right in situations such as these? Seems a little controlling to me.

No, the OP is not wrong, simply because two other people have the same views. How is a child going to learn social skills, if the parents are pandering to their every whim, and worse, their bad behaviour. What an absolute nightmare, having to sit through a family meal, when there are children running around wild, eating at the same time.

Mrs_Imp

What fawd said.

I fully expect my children to learn that mealtimes are different in different peoples' houses. At our house it's at the table with all of us eating together. At Granny and Grandad's house it's a bit less formal.

Norma_Desmond

And coming at this as a child-free person I'd just like to add what a pleasure it is to see well behaved children sitting properly at tables in restaurants - sadly though it's the exception.

Just a couple of weeks ago I saw a rampaging toddler trip up a waitress in a cafe - and the poor woman got screamed at by the parents.

As for not being able to tell a child what to do, well that's not how I was brought up..........:(

podperson

Have you tried calmly discussing with your daughter what her views are? Is she just giving in for a quiet life or does she genuinely not think he needs to be sitting at the table yet - if not what age does she think this would be reasonable. Be aware that if she is deliberately trying to do things differently to the way she was brought up then she may have reasons for disagreeing with the way you did things. For example, I was also forced to sit at the table 'until I cleared my plate' - we could be there for hours and I hated it, it made some mealtimes miserable for me and has actually put me off certain foods for life. Therefore, I would never want to make my kids do this. I think perhaps you would get on much better if you tried to find out her reasoning rather then just dismissing it as you think your way is right - maybe it is but grandparents should primarily be supporting the parents and it will be much less confusing for your grandchild if everyone is on the same page with things.

mummyroysof3

a3 year old should at least be able to sit at the table while they eat..i wouldnt make them always stay any longer there though.