Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

ska_lover

I totally agree, at 3 yo they should be at the table, and there definately is nothing more irritating then paying good money for a meal, while the mum and dad at the next table let their kids run wild and keep bashing in to chairs when running by etc

Money_maker

JodyBPM wrote: »

Honestly, from weaning, mine ate at the table (highchair pushed up to table initially), at mealtimes, when everyone else is eating.

Same here. Always struggled to fathom why children are allowed to run around their house whilst eating. Children learn table manners, how to listen and interact with others. It can also be one of those rare occasions when there are NO other distractions.

Reading your OP, you are correct. However, you would make this easier if both you and your wife sat down at the table to eat with him.

Fire_Fox

WLM21 wrote: »

Sadly his mum (our daughter) has the same idea as my wife.

It puzzles me, because when she was a child, she sat at the table.

I think you are outvoted within your family, much as I and others on here agree with you. Who are you trying to make life easier for? If you don't like it take the dog for a walk, go out for breakfast, for the early bird swimming session, to the pub, or refuse to have your grandchild stay at mealtimes. This thread is not going to settle any family argument.

For transparency: we were made to sit at the table even tho we often had to be quiet for the radio news which was sacred, made to clear our plates even if it took hours. I understand the logic of being polite and not wasting, I hold with sitting at the table, but not listening to the news nor sitting there for hours with a hated meal. But not everyone can separate the rules they agree with from the rules they don't.

kitschkitty

I do agree that at 3 he should be learning to sit at the table to eat his food & engage with other people at the table (if he hasn't learned that already).

I also think he shouldn't be forced to finish meals or sit there till everyone's finished (if at home or in an environment where he can safely be away from the table).

I do think though that it's important not to cause tensions over eating habits as it can cause a lot of stress for children and parents - I mean there have been enough TV programs about it! But that said eating/being fed while running around isn't a good alternative/solution at all.


Just to add nurseries & schools require all the children to sit down together at lunch times for at least a minimum amount of time & you certainly aren't allowed to run around & eat.

faerie~spangles

WLM21 wrote: »

So I AM RIGHT !!!!

Brilliant !!!

Many thanks !

.... Did I tell you. ... I was right after all ... wow !!

Only up to a point!


No child should be forced to stay at the table and finish a meal.

Our little one is asked if she's finished / had enough if she says yes the plate is removed, if she ignores the question the food is removed.

If her parents think she hasn't eaten enough she is offered fruit or raw veg.

NewKittenHelp

WLM21 wrote: »

Sadly his mum (our daughter) has the same idea as my wife.

It puzzles me, because when she was a child, she sat at the table.

Then you're wrong. Do you often feel the need to be right in situations such as these? Seems a little controlling to me.

Naf

Our middle child turned 2 last month, and has been sat at the table for a good few months already before that.

FunWithFlags

While I agree that a three year old should be sitting at the table to eat, I think you have to wait for the child's mum to recognise this too and, until then, respect her choice to have him running about, leave your wife to it at mealtimes or no longer have him round at mealtimes (although your wife and child's mum may not agree to that one!).

Saying that though, if you get your wife on board, maybe you could make sitting at the table something he wants to do rather than something he has to do iyswim. A nursery I worked at once used a lot of "Now we are three we get to sit at the table when we eat, how exciting! Which chair shall we sit on? Can you help me put this on the table so we can eat?" type stuff to make it more interesting. Then if he sees it as fun or something "big boys" do, you might find he asks mum why he isn't sat at the table at home lol.

duchy

WLM21 wrote: »

Sadly his mum (our daughter) has the same idea as my wife.

It puzzles me, because when she was a child, she sat at the table.

Why on earth would you want to undermine your grandson's mother ?

Parents often have different ideas in child raising to their own parents -and often grandparents resent it but ultimately it's the parent's choice how they raise their child and the wise grandparent butts out before it becomes a major issue. Discussing the advantages of one method rather than another with the child's parents is one thing-Trying to inflict your opinion , running and asking a bunch of strangers and then crowing you are right-is rather silly and likely to push your daughter and therefore her son away. Who wants to visit anyone who behaves like that. Perhaps you should accept your daughter is an adult and respect and support her position as a parent instead . You may find if you do she is far more likely to have adult discussions about child raising with someone who treats her as an equal and is respectful towards her rather than treating her like she is still a child.

maman

WLM21 wrote: »

Sadly his mum (our daughter) has the same idea as my wife.

It puzzles me, because when she was a child, she sat at the table.

I've been in a similar situation with my DD2 and DGD2. I know she really believes that good table manners are important but has got into the 'anything for a quiet life' habit.

Money_maker wrote: »

Reading your OP, you are correct. However, you would make this easier if both you and your wife sat down at the table to eat with him.

Definitely agree with that!

It is difficult on your grandson that different standards are expected in your home from his own but I would still persevere. Children do learn that, just as he will learn when he goes to school that he'll be expected to sit at a table to eat. You're doing him a favour in the long run.

When at all possible I don't plate up meals but let everyone help themselves from serving dishes so the children have some control of what they're eating. This works particularly well with Sunday lunch. Also my children sat in high chairs pulled up to the table when they were younger so running off wasn't an option which meant they were used to it before they sat in 'normal' chairs. As far as possible, engage them in conversation and give lots of praise throughout the meal so they don't get bored but I do think some small toys or pens can help keep their interest and get them used to staying put. Aside from all other considerations of manners, it's not a good thing for digestion to be eating 'on the run'.