Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

Beckyy

Everybody is different. Some people don't even have dining tables!

In my opinion, children should be encouraged to eat at the table during family mealtimess but at such a young age they shouldn't be expected to wait for all the family to finish, and should never be expected to 'clear the plate'. As long as they start to learn table manners and what is appropriate at meal times then that's the important bit.

supergran2007

fawd1 wrote: »

I'm amazed at the number of people telling the OP that he is controlling, and should listen to his daughters wishes. I may be wrong, but I assume he is talking about ocassions in which the GC is at HIS house? Why on earth would he not expect the GC to follow normal rules of table manners in his home? I know that my mother and I do things differently ref: children, so when I look after my children I do things as I want (obviously) but when they in her house, they follow her rules. Much like I do I should say.

And as for the poster saying you don't MAKE a 3 year old do anything, you encourage them, if I followed that way of thinking, I don't think my 2 year old would have had clothes on since a year ago, my 3 year old would eat constantly and neither one of them would ever wash their hair. Of course you MAKE children do things. Otherwise they'd do what they wanted, and frankly, they're children, so what they want is not, in all likelihood, particularly good for them.

Apart from anything else, teaching good manners from day one stops almighty battles when they're older. The same goes for eating fruit/veg etc. If I didn't MAKE my children eat veg, they never would have past the puree stage. As it is, we had a couple of meal times of "you can't leave the table until you've had at least 3 bites of vegetable" that went on for hours..... Now they both eat their vegetables first, and actually enjoy some of it.

P.s. My in laws refuse to take my 2 nephews out for dinner (8 and 3) because they were told they could get up from the table to play etc then come back and eat a bit more because it's easier. They'll quite happily take my 2 because they know they'lll sit with everyone, then when they're finished eating ask if they can get down. If Grandad and Nanny say it's ok, then they can get down. Otherwise they put up and shut up!

Yes!! A poster after my own heart !!!
Well done for being brave enough to tell it how it is !!:T:T

samtoby

I have always made my son sit when we eat - it is family time and I feel its a great time to talk and feel this is great to bring on childrens development with talking. From the time my son could sit on the highchair he was at the table with us.

I have a friend who doesn't even have a table and her childrens eating habits leave a lot to the imagation and they just eat rubbish.
I think eating at a table also is where the manners come from and interest in other foods.

maman

threemuttleys wrote: »

See, my DS goes to his Grandparents a lot (every weekend at least) and I know that his Grandma will give him a biscuit, and he does eat and walk (usually to plonk himself next to grandad)

I dont view this as a problem...Grandparents are there to spoil them!

I'm afraid that letting children do exactly as they please is literally that SPOILING things for them. It's just storing up trouble for the future. My idea of spoiling my DGDs was extra bed time stories or going out somewhere special. things that DDs perhaps didn't have the time to do.

I have to admit that the 'my home, my rules' is mainly my philosophy when DGD2 is here staying with us. When her mum is around, we wouldn't dream of undermining her. However that doesn't mean she doesn't know we disagree. When her mum is making excuses for her playing with food or leaving loads or whatever we just smile/nod and say as little as possible. I know SIL agrees with us, sometimes tries to speak up. It hasn't helped that DGD1 (DD1's daughter) is older and he's watched her being brought up from a baby so knows it's possible to be different. I think we've now accepted that DGD2 (now 10) knows we have different rules and unless her mum is around she accepts them. Briefly DD2 is too easy going and it's worrying because DGD2 is starting to get a bit podgy due to eating rubbish. I don't think we'll ever change her though as they've just got a puppy and she's just as lenient with him: goes on beds, furniture, fed on nonsense like kippers and chicken......

Now there's a thought for a thread....should I let my daughter's puppy climb on furniture in my home?:rotfl:

Cat501

samtoby wrote: »

I have always made my son sit when we eat - it is family time and I feel its a great time to talk and feel this is great to bring on childrens development with talking. From the time my son could sit on the highchair he was at the table with us.

I have a friend who doesn't even have a table and her childrens eating habits leave a lot to the imagation and they just eat rubbish.
I think eating at a table also is where the manners come from and interest in other foods.

None of that is anything to do with them not having a table and everything to do with the parents' attitude to food, mealtimes, and manners! I was brought up in a house without room for a dining table, and I only had a table until my DDs were 4 and 3 - then we moved and didn't have room for one. Admittedly I did love us sitting round a table and still miss it, but not having one never did my manners any harm, nor my kids'!

threemuttleys

maman wrote: »

I'm afraid that letting children do exactly as they please is literally that SPOILING things for them. It's just storing up trouble for the future. My idea of spoiling my DGDs was extra bed time stories or going out somewhere special. things that DDs perhaps didn't have the time to do.

I have to admit that the 'my home, my rules' is mainly my philosophy when DGD2 is here staying with us. When her mum is around, we wouldn't dream of undermining her. However that doesn't mean she doesn't know we disagree. When her mum is making excuses for her playing with food or leaving loads or whatever we just smile/nod and say as little as possible. I know SIL agrees with us, sometimes tries to speak up. It hasn't helped that DGD1 (DD1's daughter) is older and he's watched her being brought up from a baby so knows it's possible to be different. I think we've now accepted that DGD2 (now 10) knows we have different rules and unless her mum is around she accepts them. Briefly DD2 is too easy going and it's worrying because DGD2 is starting to get a bit podgy due to eating rubbish. I don't think we'll ever change her though as they've just got a puppy and she's just as lenient with him: goes on beds, furniture, fed on nonsense like kippers and chicken......

Now there's a thought for a thread....should I let my daughter's puppy climb on furniture in my home?:rotfl:

TBH, its the only place he is allowed to do it. At home/childminders etc he has to be sat at a table.

daska

You don't need to argue with your daughter about this one, undermining her will do your relationship with her no good at all.

It may be that your wife and daughter know something that you either aren't privy to, or have chosen to ignore/discount. So you need to start with that conversation rather than with a demand for something that may be completely inappropriate.

And then maybe you could work on finding a middle way with your wife? Maybe by pointing out that school is rapidly approaching and that children are expected to be able to feed themselves (there will not be anyone to spoon feed them unless they have a genuine, proven need for it that results in a statement of special needs). Or maybe by suggesting a goal such as going out for a day including a proper meal with your grandchild but pointing out that running around and being fed wouldn't be appropriate in that instance.

The best way to teach good table manners is to teach by demonstrating them yourself i.e. make the food, lay the table and sit down and eat with your grandchild. Make a point of not clearing your own plate but expressing how full you are and leaving a bit. And make it fun. Make faces with the food when you're plating up, tell jokes and stories so it's fun to be eating at the table with grandad. And if you don't know any jokes then buy a book and learn some!

thatgirlsam

If there is enough of us at the table we do chinese whispers after dinner. The children love it - especially if Nan is there, she comes out with some corkers.

gadgeteer_2

For me it actually goes much deeper than just sitting at the table.

For me it's about the only time we often get to sit together as a family and talk together. Especially in modern times where both parents often work and the kids are at school.

It's about learning manners, to listen to each other and to share. It's about taking the time out to find out about each other's day.

My kids have always just sat at the table since they were old enough to sit in a high chair. To them not sitting at the table is simply alien to them. As is leaving the table before others have finished and if they need the loo or whatever then they ask to leave the table.

I can't help but wonder how mum disciplines/raises her son at all if she's not even doing the basics like sitting the child down for a meal. It doesn't have to be at the dinner table but by god you shouldn't be wandering around after him trying to shove a spoonful in whilst he's playing. The mind utterly boggles at the illogic. No wonder she's struggling, he's too distracted playing and eating is just distracting him from playing!

NAR

Our GS is 2 years and 4 months. Up until he was two he ate sitting in his high chair. We then bought him a small table and two chairs and he just loves eating there (I think he feels all grown up!).

Anyway he is a very good eater and has a wide variety of food. If there is food left, which is very seldom, we know that he has had enough and won't force him to finish.

What we don't want to happen is force feeding him and put him off eating at the table. If he started leaving food regularly then I think we would intervene.