Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

WLM21

As the OP ... I wish to pass on my thanks for all the great replies.:beer:

margaretclare

gadgeteer wrote: »

For me it actually goes much deeper than just sitting at the table.

For me it's about the only time we often get to sit together as a family and talk together. Especially in modern times where both parents often work and the kids are at school.

It's about learning manners, to listen to each other and to share. It's about taking the time out to find out about each other's day.

My kids have always just sat at the table since they were old enough to sit in a high chair. To them not sitting at the table is simply alien to them. As is leaving the table before others have finished and if they need the loo or whatever then they ask to leave the table.

I can't help but wonder how mum disciplines/raises her son at all if she's not even doing the basics like sitting the child down for a meal. It doesn't have to be at the dinner table but by god you shouldn't be wandering around after him trying to shove a spoonful in whilst he's playing. The mind utterly boggles at the illogic. No wonder she's struggling, he's too distracted playing and eating is just distracting him from playing!

Yes, exactly. This is how I've always assumed that things were done. Conversation, opinions shared, a lively family life all focused on the meal table.

Couldn't agree more, especially with your final paragraph.

margaretclare

threemuttleys wrote: »

See, my DS goes to his Grandparents a lot (every weekend at least) and I know that his Grandma will give him a biscuit, and he does eat and walk (usually to plonk himself next to grandad)

I dont view this as a problem...Grandparents are there to spoil them!

No, they are not!

If grandparents have any value at all, it should be that they have a little more time, a longer perspective, and should encourage more civilised habits.

No one gets a biscuit in my house because I don't have them!

Padstow

I've never learnt how to do the snipped quotes, but I thanked two posts and both are daska's, because a third way is by example.

If you pick your nose, swear or graze on the go, so too will your child.

Say please and thankyou everytime you interact with your child and so will they.

None of the nonsense of demanding, "what should you say?" "what's the magic word?" and the worst, "say ta".

If you have ever said any of those phrases to your children, then you haven';t set a good example.

Argue, fight or shout and your child will do so as well. In fact your child will copy everything from home. Never blame the outside influence, as if you have set the boundaries as to manners, behaviour and so on, your child will reject anything else as being not normal.

Laying the table, getting the child to help and eating there is by example.

We sleep in beds and expect our children to follow our example, not sleep on the floor. Not forcing, not bribing, but by example.

I recommend purchasing a stainless steel set of children's cutlery, about £5.00. Take those as well when you go out to eat.

My late, wonderful father used to spoil my daughter no end, but because the basics were in place, she knew the score when she came home.

As daska, she always ate out with us. I booked a cooking demonstration at a local French restaurant when she was almost four. Friend ducked out at the last moment so I took her with me as I'd paid for a place.
During the demo, she sat quietly in the window playing with a toy.

We then got to eat. I only remember the first course which was Scallops in a white wine sauce wrapped in puff pastry.

She, the little darling, devoured it.

The only other tip I can suggest is to offer an alternative.

"Would you like broccoli or runner beans? "Pink or yellow pajamas?"
"Go to bed now with a story, or later and go straight to sleep?" Works a treat.

Example and guile is, I believe is the way to go.

As for Grandad who is the OP. His wife and his daughter both are spoiling the child and socially for themselves. Who want's a child who is running around uncontrolled?

I'm reminded of a dreadful restaurant we went to once but never again.

It was chips with everything, a pay for mechanical horse in the centre, kids running wild everywhere, and spilt food all over the floor. Nightmare.

threemuttleys

margaretclare wrote: »

No, they are not!

If grandparents have any value at all, it should be that they have a little more time, a longer perspective, and should encourage more civilised habits.

No one gets a biscuit in my house because I don't have them!

I shall tell that to the MIL then...because she says thats what she intends to do. I dont have a problem with that



Up to you whether or not you have biscuits in your home

adouglasmhor

WLM21 wrote: »

Can you please settle a family argument ?

I think my 3y 3m Grandson should be made to sit at the table to eat AND stay there until his dinner or whatever is finished. I remember as a child having to do it, even ending up eating cold food if I messed around too much.

My wife thinks it is OK to run around and having some food every few minutes. Her excuse ... He is only 3.

Surely I am right. The sooner he learns to sit there, the better for everybody. We always eat at the table.

Luckily he only visits us, and doesn't stay with us all the time ... because mealtimes always seem troublesome because of this.

In the mornings, my wife likes to feed him porridge and he is running about, while she struggles to feed him. I just want to make things easier.

thank you

I think the clean plate club is one of the reasons so may adults have food issues and we have an pandemic of obesity, no one should have to eat food just because it is put in front of them.

claire16c

adouglasmhor wrote: »

I think the clean plate club is one of the reasons so may adults have food issues and we have an pandemic of obesity, no one should have to eat food just because it is put in front of them.

I watched one of those secret eater programmes not long ago and one guy on there said he always finished his meal because he was told to as a child.

Im not sure why you cant just stop doing that as you grow up, but it clearly does affect some people. And often those people don't realise how much they are putting on plates.

mumps

I was still breastfeeding when mine was 3, he didn't sit at the table or use a knife and fork! I don't know how he has turned into such a well mannered, polite, intelligent young man who is doing really well at a good university. If only he had sat at the table and used cutlery who knows what he might be doing now.

Person_one

mumps wrote: »

I was still breastfeeding when mine was 3, he didn't sit at the table or use a knife and fork! I don't know how he has turned into such a well mannered, polite, intelligent young man who is doing really well at a good university. If only he had sat at the table and used cutlery who knows what he might be doing now.

I assume he learned to use cutlery and sit at a table at some point after he was weaned though?

Not really sure what your point is here...

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

I assume he learned to use cutlery and sit at a table at some point after he was weaned though?

Not really sure what your point is here...

Yes he did learn to use cutlery and sit at a table, my point was that reading some of the replies it could be assumed that if a child wasn't sitting at a table at 3 then they were spoilt, had no table manners, would run round in restaurants, would eat junk foods and who knows what else.

If the childs mother and grandmother don't insist he sits at a table to eat it really isn't the end of the world and to all the people who have said they insist on this and that and their children have turned out great, well that is lovely but there is probably more to bringing up a child.

Personally I have always hated the idea of a. making a child eat everything on their plate and b. making a child try something however much they dislike the look or smell of it. I have got to my 50s without ever eating prawns, you would see the mother of all tantrums if someone tried to force me to eat them. I can't explain to you why prawns revolt me so much but they do. If anyone had tried to make me eat them when I was a child I think I would have left home.