Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

MarilynMonroe_2

My dd (aged 3) has her own table and chair and she will get up and down on occasion but I rarely tell her off as I remember how I felt with my dad shouting at me to sit and eat and not play with my food and to sit there and eat everything, I'm not making my daughter feel that way when she's so young.
I realise how annoying it can be though.

MarilynMonroe_2

lolavix wrote: »

Well we're not as lucky as everyone else and don't have a dining table,so OH's son normally gets fed his food to save him dropping it everywhere. I just think they're kids and have plenty of time to learn and be 'grown up', obviously in the minority though!

No youre not in the minority. We have a table but I sit on the couch and dd sits next to me at her little table.
Meal times for me growing up were truly awful and I think this is why I have a weight problem, being shouted at to stay in my seat and finish my food ... my daughter eats less by having the freedom to leave her table when she wants and finsihing her food or not, or coming back to it is no big deal

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Frogletina wrote: »

Obviously I don't know your circumstances but I cannot imagine not having a dining table.

I wouldn't call it luck. As a child our family had no television or washing machine, but we had a table - and for a time when I was quite poor with two young children, and this time with no TV, washing machine, telephone or even a radio, I made sure I had a dining table. It was second hand, as was the washing machine when I eventually had one - but that is how it had to be.

I live alone now, but I can seat 8 at the table I have which makes it ideal for family gatherings, four of the chairs passed down from my grandmother. This table was second hand too, and thinking back, I've never had a new one in my life but I'd never be without one.

In my flat, I would have had to throw out my own bed and sleep outside on the pavement if I wanted a proper dining table. The kitchen only just about took a cooker, sink and small fridge, the beds took up the bedrooms and a full size table would have been overhanging the gas fire and stopping the door from opening if it were place in the living room. There certainly wouldn't have been space to actually sit in chairs as well as have an adult sized table.

Sammy85_2

My 9 month old daughter sits with us at the table at meal times although by the time we eat she's already had her tea so she just has a little bit of whatever we are having and if she doesn't eat it all then its fine, she's only a baby afterall. She has one of those booster seats strapped to a dining chair.

She eats all her meals in either her highchair or at the table on her seat.

Alaister_Reed

its a def yes from me - my 2 year old nephew and his 4 year old sister alway sit at the table - its the foundation of family life (so i was told as a child)

margaretclare

I haven't got a 'dining-table' as in 'formal dining', but I have got a kitchen table and DH and I always sit at that. Actually eating at a big table in a downstairs 'farmhouse-type' kitchen in the basement of our Pennine cottage was what our kids and the grandkids were used to. It was the centre of many activities including discussions about everything, 'how was your day', making jam-tarts, you name it. I've never been used to eating off a sofa although I know many people do it. I would feel very uncomfortable, physically and psychologically, if I had to do it.

margaretclare

mumps wrote: »

I think they were Devon Toffees, don't think they were in a jar, just loose on the pick and mix. Where can you get them? Mind you it might ruin my memories, might not be as nice as when granny had them. Think I would have to give them a try.

Did you like them? Thank you for reminding me of the name, don't know how I forgot.

There are shops round about here that specialise in 'old-fashioned sweets'.

The only way for me to deal with sweets is never to buy any, never to have them in the house. I haven't struggled so hard all this time with weight to go back to square one. Same goes for biscuits. A woman at church told me recently that she 'envies me' my figure. I said 'Don't envy me, just do it!' And then after church over cups of tea, I saw her eat a biscuit or three.

Sweets don't really bother me as long as I don't have them within reach, and if I ever start to think about them, then I recall the 2-mile walk on Saturdays to the sweet shop in the next village to get the 3-ounce ration of sweets. I didn't grow up used to eating biscuits either. The first person I ever knew who was really keen on her biscuits was my MIL and I was newly-married.

mumps

margaretclare wrote: »

There are shops round about here that specialise in 'old-fashioned sweets'.

The only way for me to deal with sweets is never to buy any, never to have them in the house. I haven't struggled so hard all this time with weight to go back to square one. Same goes for biscuits. A woman at church told me recently that she 'envies me' my figure. I said 'Don't envy me, just do it!' And then after church over cups of tea, I saw her eat a biscuit or three.

Sweets don't really bother me as long as I don't have them within reach, and if I ever start to think about them, then I recall the 2-mile walk on Saturdays to the sweet shop in the next village to get the 3-ounce ration of sweets. I didn't grow up used to eating biscuits either. The first person I ever knew who was really keen on her biscuits was my MIL and I was newly-married.

I don't eat biscuits but I do like a slice of home made cake.

The thing with the toffees isn't so much that I eat alot of sweets but the memory of granny's jar of toffees, it was such a treat when she got the jar down. It was only a small jar, probably only held nine or ten toffees but it always had some toffees in it and they tasted better than any other sweet. My daughter tells me that her granny's jam sandwiches were the best in the world. I wouldn't have even thought of giving her jam sandwiches but apparently she loved them at granny's house. She only told me this after granny died, but it did make me smile to think of how things at granny's are special.

My grandchildren know there will be a treat for them when they come round but they always wait for me to offer it they then race off to the kitchen. I hope one day they will think of me and how much better their favourite chocolate bar tasted at granny's house.

maman

This has been a very interesting thread and aside from the original question about table manners it's thrown up all sorts of differences in expectations in parenting. It would seem that what different families consider good manners, good behaviour for children etc. varies from family to family. I think that's absolutely fine within your own home but not fair at all (on the child or members of the public) if you take them to a restaurant and they tear aound spoiling the occasion for others.

There's been quite a lot of talk about eating everything up: surely the majority of the time adults know the sort of portion size their child can manage. Also there's a difference between leaving food because you're full of rubbish from snacking or want to get down and play knowing you'll be given another snack later and genuinely being full. As we all know, most children who profess to be 'full' can generally manage a pudding! Again, I'm a great advocate for putting things in serving dishes. As well as children controlling their own portion sizes, it means leftovers can go in the fridge for yummy bubble & squeak the next day rather than in the bin.

margaretclare

I actually like home-made cake and I have one slice - occasionally! We sometimes go to the RSPB nature reserve at Rainham Marshes and the volunteer staff there always make their own cakes and scones. They label them with their own names too! Home-made cheese scones, I could die for. But this is only 'now and then' as a treat! Cakes etc bought in packets in supermarkets - no, I wouldn't give a second glance.