Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

margaretclare

Frogletina wrote: »

I have two girls who have daughters of their own.

So when the little ones come for the day at the same time do I suggest one of them eats at the table and one of them eats off their lap as they do at their respective homes?

No, they eat at the table with me. They know that is what they do at Nana's house.

I agree with this. This is what I would do. Your house, your rules. Just because GC eat off a sofa in their own house they are not expected to impose those habits on me in my house. They're all grown up now anyway, but they were always well aware of what their late Grandad and I did, and now my DH and me. The last time they were here as children they did all that and it didn't seem to confuse them at all. In fact, my eldest GD still remembers Saturday afternoons in the basement kitchen making jam tarts, all at the same table that we used to eat at.

DH has told me of the battles he used to have with his ex in his last marriage, that was when her GC arrived and wanted to sit on the sofa to watch TV and eat at the same time. She'd allow them to do it, he wouldn't permit it. 'I'm missing my TV programme!' 'Well, tough'.

His own 2 GDs are very different. There's a huge solid kitchen/dining table in their big kitchen and it's very much as I've always done. It's a place for social gathering, interesting conversation, good food enjoyed in a pleasant atmosphere.

dingdongavoncalling

I haven't had time to read all the posts, but agree with those that have said your house, your rules. (obviously it is your wife's house too, which is where it get difficult!)

You will really be doing him a favour teaching him how to sit and eat at the table, concentrating on one thing at a time. When he goes to nursery or school at 3 or 4 years old he will be expected to do this.

mumps

maman wrote: »

I agree that if you are going to put your foot down over an issue it needs to be an important one but food and table manners and behaviour in general are important in my book. I'd say that after safety (in the home and outside) and perhaps sleep they're probably about the most important for the child's upbringing.

I always think love is top of the list, it always has been in my family. I can't think what would be anywhere near as important.

daska

mumps wrote: »

I always think love is top of the list, it always has been in my family. I can't think what would be anywhere near as important.

But how do you put your foot down about putting love at the top of the list?

Personally I would say that you are demonstrating your love for the child by making all efforts to allow them to function well in life e.g. by teaching them good manners and essential skills.

mumps

kitschkitty wrote: »

To be fair "experts" say most children need to be given a new food 8-10 times before they will openly accept it.

So while I do agree no child (or adult) should be forced to eat anything, repeatedly offering new foods (perseverance) is essential in introducing new foods.

http://www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_eating_children_teens.htm

I am sorry if you thought I meant they shouldn't be offered different food, even encouraged to try it (although I always found the best plan was to eat with them and enjoy your food and they naturally wanted to join in) I just can't see the point in trying to force a child to try something they don't want to try. Infact the image of a child having his nose held and food forced into his mouth sounds awful to me.

daska

mumps wrote: »

I am sorry if you thought I meant they shouldn't be offered different food, even encouraged to try it (although I always found the best plan was to eat with them and enjoy your food and they naturally wanted to join in) I just can't see the point in trying to force a child to try something they don't want to try. Infact the image of a child having his nose held and food forced into his mouth sounds awful to me.

I think you took me too seriously

(He didn't want to try it and I explained that if he couldn't smell it, he wouldn't taste it as much. But he couldn't hold his own nose and put the spoon in his mouth so I did. It did the job, he always tried things without complaint after that.)

mumps

daska wrote: »

But how do you put your foot down about putting love at the top of the list?

Personally I would say that you are demonstrating your love for the child by making all efforts to allow them to function well in life e.g. by teaching them good manners and essential skills.

I don't know why I would put my foot down. I guess I followed the example of my mother and grandmothers and I think my daughter will be the same.

Children need to learn many things, some people will do things in a different order to other e.g. my mother in law thought early potty training was vital, I belong to the school of thought that early potty training is more about mothers spending alot of time trying to guess when the little one needs the loo. Funnily enough mine were all toilet trained very successfully just a year or so later than she would have liked. Now with my eldest having been out of nappies for well over 30 years do you think it mattered one jot? Do you think anyone remembers exactly when he came out of nappies, even I couldn't give an exact date and I was the one dealing with the things.

If some people want their children sitting at the table at 3 that is great, if someone else is happy for their child to run around eating finger foods then that is great as well. There is nothing magical about eating at a table at 3 and I think it would be great if people just accepted that all families do things a little differently but most of us get to the same place in the end.

My advice as a mum and granny is enjoy your little ones, do things the way you feel comfortable as long as you aren't hurting them (I don't mean beat them if you feel like it :eek: even if it does make you feel better.

Just to add that this is in the home, just like I didn't breast feed mine in public when they were three I think children in restaurants should not be allowed to be a nuisance to other people.

mumps

daska wrote: »

I think you took me too seriously

(He didn't want to try it and I explained that if he couldn't smell it, he wouldn't taste it as much. But he couldn't hold his own nose and put the spoon in his mouth so I did. It did the job, he always tried things without complaint after that.)

Thank you for clarifying, it sounded horrible and I felt upset for him. Was there a reason you felt he needed to eat ice cream, I am always amazed the my grandchildren don't like toffee apples but I wouldn't make an issue of it. Apart from anything else it leaves more for me:rotfl::rotfl: I am a bit worried now that this thread seems to focus alot on me eating cakes, toffees and now toffee apples. I do eat alot of healthy things as well, honest.

maman

mumps wrote: »

I always think love is top of the list, it always has been in my family. I can't think what would be anywhere near as important.

daska wrote: »

But how do you put your foot down about putting love at the top of the list?

Personally I would say that you are demonstrating your love for the child by making all efforts to allow them to function well in life e.g. by teaching them good manners and essential skills.

Absolutely!! Couldn't agree more.

daska

mumps wrote: »

I don't know why I would put my foot down. I guess I followed the example of my mother and grandmothers and I think my daughter will be the same.

Again I think you've misunderstood me, I was baffled as to your response to a post. Maman made a comment about putting your foot down over important issues and you responded that love was at the top of your list. I asked how (because I didn't understand your response about putting your foot down about love) and then you said you didn't know 'why' and answered a completely different question (again?).

Mumps - Why did I want him to try ice-cream. Erm... because it's nice? No, seriously, I needed him to trust me that I wasn't trying to get him to eat things I knew he wouldn't like. And to do that I had to make him try something I knew he would like. And it worked, he would eat pretty much everything I suggested (even fish with eyes), to the amazement of other parents LOL. And now that DS2 has developed a little in his communication skills I'm doing exactly the same and he also, aside from the ASD/ sensory issues that mean he won't eat 'white' or 'orange' etc is happy to trust me as well.