Should a3year old sit at the table to eat

caroline78

Might be a silly question and I haven't read all the posts yet, but does your daughter have a kitchen table.

I live in a small flat and simply haven't got room for a table so my hubby and I eat off trays on our knees in the living room. My 17 month old gets fed in his high chair if it is food that he can fed himself, for messier foods he gets set on the floor or in his travel cot and gets fed there as he tries to escape from the high chair.

AlisonHarrison

margaretclare wrote: »

If grandparents have any value at all, it should be that they encourage more civilised habits.

My own opinion is that age three is old enough to sit at a table and mine did. However, that is only my opinion.
If and when I have grandchildren I would not dream of imposing my opinions or beliefs on them. I would support their parents whatever they decide.
This sort of attitude is a recipe for discord within a family.
My parents are dead and I have little enough family without risking discord or estrangement or getting into rows about where to eat your dinner.
How would you like it if your mother or mother in law told you she was teaching your children to be more civilised?

snow_ball

To me it's not just about manners, when my nephews or other children visit, if they are going to eat they have to sit down, whether that's on our sofa or at the breakfast bar (we don't have space for a dining table).

If they are running around whilst eating
1) they're more likely to make a mess
2) I'm terrified they might choke and
3) they're more likely to actually throw up (I've seen this happen although not in my house thankfully!)

So if they're in my care and/or in my house, for the above reasons there is no running around whilst eating. It's never been an issue but maybe that's because everyone in our family loves to eat!!

mumps

margaretclare wrote: »

I actually like home-made cake and I have one slice - occasionally! We sometimes go to the RSPB nature reserve at Rainham Marshes and the volunteer staff there always make their own cakes and scones. They label them with their own names too! Home-made cheese scones, I could die for. But this is only 'now and then' as a treat! Cakes etc bought in packets in supermarkets - no, I wouldn't give a second glance.

I don't buy shop cakes, I occasionally buy a cake at the grandchildrens cake sale but usually I bake my own. I also bake cakes for daughter in law, daughter, aunt, it is as easy to make two or three as one and they are popular with the family. My husband has been heard to shout in protest when one of our brood arrives and has some cake, he doesn't do sharing.

Frogletina

AlisonHarrison wrote: »

My own opinion is that age three is old enough to sit at a table and mine did. However, that is only my opinion.
If and when I have grandchildren I would not dream of imposing my opinions or beliefs on them. I would support their parents whatever they decide.
This sort of attitude is a recipe for discord within a family.

I have two girls who have daughters of their own.

So when the little ones come for the day at the same time do I suggest one of them eats at the table and one of them eats off their lap as they do at their respective homes?

No, they eat at the table with me. They know that is what they do at Nana's house.

Tiddlywinks

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

My dd (aged 3) has her own table and chair and she will get up and down on occasion but I rarely tell her off as I remember how I felt with my dad shouting at me to sit and eat and not play with my food and to sit there and eat everything, I'm not making my daughter feel that way when she's so young.
I realise how annoying it can be though.

A 3yo is old enough to learn that meals should be eaten at a table and that you should remain seated and not wander around during a meal - it's basic manners really.

You don't need to shout to get the message across; just explain and keep reinforcing the message.

My pet hate is seeing children wandering / running around in restaurants and the adults with them just accepting that behaviour without educating them as to remaining seated - if only because of hot food / drinks being carried by waiters etc.

kitschkitty

I don't think the sitting at a table is the important part, I think the important part is recognising that a meal time means a time when you stop doing other things to eat something, be that at a table, on the sofa or on the floor, etc. By that definition you can't be running around or playing at the same time as you need to give some attention to eating. You can enjoy food in a way that is fun like playing, and you can have toys (at a table) if you are going to be sitting there with other people and you have had enough.

kitschkitty

mumps wrote: »

Personally I have always hated the idea of a. making a child eat everything on their plate and b. making a child try something however much they dislike the look or smell of it. I have got to my 50s without ever eating prawns, you would see the mother of all tantrums if someone tried to force me to eat them. I can't explain to you why prawns revolt me so much but they do. If anyone had tried to make me eat them when I was a child I think I would have left home.

To be fair "experts" say most children need to be given a new food 8-10 times before they will openly accept it.

So while I do agree no child (or adult) should be forced to eat anything, repeatedly offering new foods (perseverance) is essential in introducing new foods.

http://www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_eating_children_teens.htm

MarilynMonroe_2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

A 3yo is old enough to learn that meals should be eaten at a table and that you should remain seated and not wander around during a meal - it's basic manners really.

You don't need to shout to get the message across; just explain and keep reinforcing the message.

My pet hate is seeing children wandering / running around in restaurants and the adults with them just accepting that behaviour without educating them as to remaining seated - if only because of hot food / drinks being carried by waiters etc.

Youre assuming too much if you think she doesnt sit and stay seated in a cafe.
You have an image of her runing around wild I think when the fact is she gets up and goes and sits on the couch or gets a toy out.

We never go to restaurants and don't eat with other adults - that's not our lifestyle and her manners are fine thanks

maman

AlisonHarrison wrote: »

My own opinion is that age three is old enough to sit at a table and mine did. However, that is only my opinion.
If and when I have grandchildren I would not dream of imposing my opinions or beliefs on them. I would support their parents whatever they decide.
This sort of attitude is a recipe for discord within a family.
My parents are dead and I have little enough family without risking discord or estrangement or getting into rows about where to eat your dinner.
How would you like it if your mother or mother in law told you she was teaching your children to be more civilised?

First of all I don't think that's quite the way my mother or MIL would have expressed it.:)

Then I would be mortified that they needed to teach my child something I know I should have done myself. I don't think it would matter how much I made excuses to myself (or to them) inside I'd know they were right.

I agree that if you are going to put your foot down over an issue it needs to be an important one but food and table manners and behaviour in general are important in my book. I'd say that after safety (in the home and outside) and perhaps sleep they're probably about the most important for the child's upbringing.

I did explain in an earlier post that I only insist on the table manners when I have DGD here on my own. When her mum's around, I let her mum take charge and say nothing although I'm sure they both know what I'm thinking.