Am I being selfish?

Seanymph

I thought about this a lot - obviously from my post it's dear to my heart.

You don't have to 'give permission' or not.

But what you have to do is tell him, honestly, how you feel. You have a right to how you feel - and a right not to have that judged. You know how you feel about it, tell him, and then let him make an informed decision with all the information. Not make the decision for him, but be honest and open and I'm sure he'll do the right thing for you as a family.

What you are talking about doing is denying how you feel because you doubt it's validity - but if it's how you feel it's valid as a matter of course.

We all make sacrifices as parents - because we have to put that role above all others. I hope he does the right thing for you all.

anguk

I knew a guy who was a Police Motorcyclist and an instructor, he told me that there's two types of motorcyclist, those who have had an accident and those who are going to have an accident.

seraphina

Hope you've also made sure his diet is impeccable and that he lays of the booze? If we're talking about risks, he (and you) are still far more likely to die of a heart attack, which you can take significant measures to reduce the likelyhood of?

FWIW my husband and I both ride bikes (well, not me at the moment as I'm pregnant and can't fit into my leathers). My DH has been riding since he was 16 and I could sooner ask him to cut his arms off than stop riding bikes.

However, there are a significant number of nutjobs on bikes who ride like idiots. I would insist that your partner does either his Institiute of Advanced Motorists advanced motorcycle test, ort he Rospa equivalent (my DH is an observer with the IAM)

http://www.iam.org.uk/
http://www.roadar.org/

Seanymph

Seraphina more people die of heart disease fo course - but everyone is at risk of that.

Only motorcyclists can be injured on bikes. By RATIO that is a higher risk.

And death is not the only outcome - in fact, it's not the outcome I would fear most. If he dies they will get life insurance, grieve, move on, it's horrendous of course, but statistically you are right can be dismissed - my post focuses on permanent, life changing, lasting disablement. Which is more likely than death.

It doesn't matter how good you are if there is diesel on the road, or someone on your side of the road on a blind bend. And the 'protective gear' that someone advocated earlier means you don't die - but you don't walk away either.

The OP has her opinion, and she is concerned - she has a right to that concern, it isn't irrational, it's completely valid.

I hope you and your husband remain accident free.

Hanky_Panky

How about a compromise.

I sold my Fireblade just after my son was born as I just felt too vulnerable out on the road.

However I haven't lost the bug, still love bikes and being a spreed freak too just ride one on track days instead. Much, much safer environment and actually get to ride the bike properly.

Cost wise: You can pick up a second hand R6, R1, Blade etc for not much money these days - put replacement pattern parts on for fairnings etc if you're that bothered or alternatively most of these companies will rent you a bike which while a bit costly, for me isn't as much as keeping a bike on the road each year.

I even know one company that organises trips down to Almeria in Spain for two whole days on the track......haven't quite got that one passed the boss yet !!

Seanymph

Thankyou HP - I put race days, I meant track days.

Grumpygit

Track days can be a good comprimise but can end up being expensive and may even lead to getting the bike bug worse than now. It's also very restrictive if his mates don't want to do them.

My OH has been on track days with his sports bikes, but now he rides a BMW GSA 1200 Adventure - he says it's just as much fun but just different fun and he can hold his own on twisty roads against a sports bike.

OP - let us know how things are going on with you and your OH

jansus

My ex husband went back to a bike when our children were still young and i didn't like it but i knew it was in is blood and still is. I refused to ever get on it because if the worst should happen one of us had to be there for the children. He go's to the TT races every year and leaves his will on the kitchen worktop

axomoxia

I found that I dramatically improved my safety on a motorcycle by "not riding like a tw*t". The IAM scheme, and the various bikesafe rider schemes run by the police, are very good starting point.

The OP could suggest that he get a motorcycle and sidecar, so that they can go out as a family. Please post of photo of his face when you suggest this

axomoxia

jansus wrote: »

My ex husband went back to a bike when our children were still young and i didn't like it but i knew it was in is blood and still is. I refused to ever get on it because if the worst should happen one of us had to be there for the children. He go's to the TT races every year and leaves his will on the kitchen worktop

Then get your own bike.

Is he racing in the TT? If he is just watching, baring Mad Sunday, his main risk is cirrhosis of the liver....