Ex picking up children query

Fire_Fox

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

It wasn't her decision to end the relationship - that's been explained. If you get together with someone not from the same town, and things go awry, and you leave your partner and 2 kids and they can't afford to keep a house going - there's always a chance that the ex partner might move to get support from family.

We don't know how much she is getting in maintenance; if she really can't afford the money for transport then I assume this non-CSA agreement is not in the region of £10k.

You can go back in time forever intimating people should have thought about X before making decision Y. If you choose to breed with your partner there is always a chance they will leave you and the kids and you won't be able to afford to keep a house going. Would you feel the same way if she had chosen to move to Australia or if she had left him in the first place?

If she is not getting the full percentage of maintenance there is a simple solution, get the CSA on the case.

NewKittenHelp

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

It wasn't her decision to end the relationship - that's been explained. If you get together with someone not from the same town, and things go awry, and you leave your partner and 2 kids and they can't afford to keep a house going - there's always a chance that the ex partner might move to get support from family.

We don't know how much she is getting in maintenance; if she really can't afford the money for transport then I assume this non-CSA agreement is not in the region of £10k.

It was her decision to move 100 miles away.

If she's not getting at least £10,000 then all she has to do is contact the CSA and voila! problem solved. So I think you can assume that she is.

Sambucus_Nigra

Fire_Fox wrote: »

You can go back in time forever intimating people should have thought about X before making decision Y. If you choose to breed with your partner there is always a chance they will leave you and the kids and you won't be able to afford to keep a house going. Would you feel the same way if she had chosen to move to Australia or if she had left him in the first place?

If she is not getting the full percentage of maintenance there is a simple solution, get the CSA on the case.

This isn't to do with me - it's about typing things based on the information provided.

We don't know how much she gets but from what has been typed, we know that he left her and the kids. She didn't move to Australia, she moved to be with her family as she couldn't afford to stay where she was. If she genuinely can't afford the travel, she needs to go to the CSA [as mentioned in my first and second post on this thread].

Sambucus_Nigra

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

It was her decision to move 100 miles away.

If she's not getting at least £10,000 then all she has to do is contact the CSA and voila! problem solved. So I think you can assume that she is.

Yes indeed. That's what I said. Three times now!

couponqueen123

Your friend only has to make kids available for ex to see them its down to him to pick up and drop off , also i would scrap privet maintenance and get csa arrangement and get all legit and if she can get a court order saying that if he wants them then come get them (i assume she don't have a problem with him seeing kids )

i know this as this is what iv done naw kids dad drives to get them every weekend and drops tehm back and ifn he cant then he dosnt have them as i feel its his responsiblity and so did the judge

tescovaluecrisps

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Bit it's not just 100 miles, it is 400 hundred miles (there and back twice). That is not just a financial commitment but a time commitment and there is the issue of the stress/ tiredness/ being able to drive safely. Depending on the amount of stress and driving in the rest of their life, this can genuinely be too much for some people.

I agree because I would hate to have to drive that far because I hate driving BUT he chose to end it knowing that her family lived miles away. Thats the trouble with people today, they want to do what they want AND they also want others to do what they want too. The money she is using on petrol could be used for winter coats, food and things that her and the kids need. She doesn't have to meet him and she shouldn't he is an adult he has made his choices

POPPYOSCAR

No she does not have to meet him but........

What if she does not and then he gets difficult..

The children see less of their father or do not seem him at all.

Serves him right you say.....

Who suffers the most in all of this THE CHILDREN.

DUTR

CL wrote: »

A friend recently was in court about access arrangements for her ex to see the kids. He doesn't drive and was trying to have the court make her continue to drop the children off and collect them (which she had been doing for 6 months).

The judge said the normal arrangement is the NRP goes to get the children and the RP collects them. i.e. you want to see them you go get them, you want them back, you collect them.

Best post on the thread so far, this waffling on about power trips seems to be exhibited by both parents, with sadly the OP twisting the story to suit her friend. I am one of those that pay csa and no visits, it doesn't suit the child but at least the minimum requirments are met and nothing to discuss or debate about. The OP's friend should find themself a job.

tescovaluecrisps

Why is it all put on her shoulders when he has left her?

DUTR

tescovaluecrisps wrote: »

Why is it all put on her shoulders when he has left her?

The original post reads"My friend split from her ex a couple of years ago and moved 100 miles away from him with the children (1 school age, 1 pre school) to live with her parents as she needed the emotional and financial support."

However it does not matter who left who does it? the consequences are still the same.