Ex picking up children query

POPPYOSCAR

Sorry but the rights and wrongs of who left who etc.do not come into this
IMO.

The important ones here are the children and I think it is sad that they are so far away from their father.

Yes, I think meeting half way is fair and I do not see if he is paying her the maintenance he is obliged to, that he should bear the full cost of the traveling.

He should not be dictating the exact time for meeting all the time, but the OP should allow some variation for the distance and road conditions etc.


And as someone has already said perhaps it would be best to get the access arranged in an official capacity, setting out times etc.

themull1

I wouldn't meet him halfway with regards to travelling.

RAS

I suggest that you go over to the Child Support forum.

You will find that he is expected to pay for the cost of picking the children up. Unless the cost is very high there is no reduction in CSA payable.

In an ideal world it would be nice if she were to share the travel burden but there is NO legal requirement for her to do so.

She may need to make things official.

DVardysShadow

On the meeting half way, I agree with the others.

On him turning up late, I think the understanding has to be one consistent venue and time, no chopping and changing - I know it is a rod for her own back too. And if he is more than 30 minutes late, she should turn straight back home and done with it.

lazer

themull1 wrote: »

I wouldn't meet him halfway with regards to travelling.

and why not?

kj*daisy

I'm of a different opinion to most, I don't think she should have to meet halfway because he is messing her around and it Sounds like she moved because she had to, because of his actions, not because she chose to. He is now using it as a power thing. But if it risks upsetting things, I'd probably carry on for the sake of the children.

Nicki

DVardysShadow wrote: »

On the meeting half way, I agree with the others.

On him turning up late, I think the understanding has to be one consistent venue and time, no chopping and changing - I know it is a rod for her own back too. And if he is more than 30 minutes late, she should turn straight back home and done with it.

So long as she is happy to be without her children for a week if she gets stuck in traffic one day on her way to pick them up and her ex leaves again with them and refuses to hand them over for another week to teach her a lesson. I'm not sure being a smart aleck and playing tit for tat with an ex to teach them a lesson is ever a good idea either for OP's sake or the children's.

Fire_Fox

Since she moved away she should be willing to do half the travelling to ensure her children have a relationship with their father, her personal reasons for moving are not relevant.

But I do think organising things well in advance, only waiting fifteen minutes unless he calls to explain why he is late (eg. pile up on the motorway) or agreeing to do a full trip but half as frequently is better. Have these contact arrangements set out on a legal document so the husband knows she is no longer willing to be messed about.

ellay864

The meeting halfway I can understand more but not the short notice arrangements like that. I have sympathy with why she moved as he was the one that walked out on her, and did partly force her situation. Must admit when my ex left me for another woman and moved to be with her I refused to drive over there and made him do the hour's drive for our kids, though he never seemed to have a problem with that to be fair

tescovaluecrisps

If she cannot afford it due to being on benifits she should just refuse if he wants to see his kids he will have to come and get them. If its a also a power trip, something he has over her she needs to be strong snd nip it in the bud right now. He can't be that bothered about his kids or he would be there ever week to get them (especially as he has the means to do it) I know i'll get crap for saying what I think but if my kids were 100miles away I would go every week because I love them so much and I never even drive out of my city. Your friend should NOT do what he wants.