Twelve Weeks To Glow

Rainbow_Bridge

ani_26 wrote: »

If it were me, i would split the savings across the 10 tickets, which is where you and i differ, and probably why i am " bad " with money, because i am too " generous " in spirit?

I've yet to get the card, but i'm off to try and persuade the Underwriter's now.

EDIT - I've just rung them and they've approved it! Thanks Ani you brought me luck! Maybe that's a sign that I should share my good fortune with the rest of the travellers - I will give it some thought.

It is good to get other perspectives, maybe I am getting a bit too selfish, there has to be a middle ground, hopefully one day i'll find it xx.

*Robin*

ani_26 wrote: »

If it were me, i would split the savings across the 10 tickets, which is where you and i differ, and probably why i am " bad " with money, because i am too " generous " in spirit?

Hmm, I agree with Ani, or might go further - if the ten friends knew another couple who really needed the break but had no chance at all of affording it, they'd get the extra tickets.

That way the good fortune is passed on - and will return to you ten-fold.

..Where are you going?

Rainbow_Bridge

Thanks Robin, your comment made me think.

We are going to stay in a villa in Calpe (below) next summer - it sleeps 16 so there could be some scope for your suggestion!

http://www.espanabreaks.com/villainfo.php/9627.htm

I used to be a very generous spirit, I practiced a form of tithing and would always give to anybody in need either physically or emotionally, but my experience was that it rarely returned to me ten-fold. The reality, for me, was that I became very drained, emotionally and financially, and got little thanks in return.

When I was really ill, my husband was amazing, but he was sickened by how people were still expecting me to run around after them and bale them out, and were not there for me in my hour of need.

If I am perfectly honest, since I have adopted a much more selfish approach, of ensuring that I put myself at least equal, if not first, I have been far happier, and content, and feel much more appreciated.

I am not neglecting people, I have just been trying to help people to help themselves, and their self esteem increases when they are not reliant on other people for their happiness.

The exceptions to this are DH, DS, DM, DF, Dear Best friend 1 and 2 and Dear Auntie, all of whom I would do anything for, without expecting anything in return!

Having said all this, I do acknowledge that I have gone too far in the selfish direction, and I would like to be more charitable again, but I am not sure what form it should take. I do not want to slip back into my old ways.

Any suggestions, from anybody, or comments, would be read with interest. How do other people deal with this dilemma, of balancing the needs of the self, with the needs of others?

I have been wrong about many things, so I am quite happy to admit I could be wrong here, and make any adjustments, I deem sensible.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment, it is appreciated xx.

I lost 1.5 lb at WeightWatchers, last night, so I am now 11 stone 1 lb. So close to the 10 stone somethings :):).

ani_26

Rainbow_Bridge wrote: »

Thanks Robin, your comment made me think.

We are going to stay in a villa in Calpe (below) next summer - it sleeps 16 so there could be some scope for your suggestion!

http://www.espanabreaks.com/villainfo.php/9627.htm

I used to be a very generous spirit, I practiced a form of tithing and would always give to anybody in need either physically or emotionally, but my experience was that it rarely returned to me ten-fold. The reality, for me, is that I became very drained emotionally and financially and got little thanks in return.

When I was really ill, my husband was amazing, but he was sickened by how people were still expecting me to run around after them and bale them out, and were not there for me in my hour of need.

If I am perfectly honest, since I have adopted a much more selfish approach, of ensuring that I put myself at least equal, if not first, I have been far happier, and content, and feel much more appreciated.

I am not neglecting people, I have just been trying to help people to help themselves, and their self esteem increases when they are not reliant on other people for their happiness.

The exceptions to this are DH, DS, DM, DF, Dear Best friend 1 and 2 and Dear Auntie, all of whom I would do anything for, without expecting anything in return!

Having said all this, I do acknowledge that I have gone too far in the selfish direction, and I would like to be more charitable again, without slipping back into my old ways.

Any suggestions, from anybody, or comments, would be read with interest. How do other people deal with this dilemma, of balancing the needs of the self, with the needs of others!

I have been wrong about many things so I am quite happy to admit I could be wrong here, and make adjustments. Thanks again for taking the time to comment xx.

I lost 1.5 lb at WeightWatchers, last night, so I am now 11 stone 1 lb. So close to the 10 stone somethings :):).

Well. I by no means intended my post to open the can of worms, or to infer i was taking the moral high ground, for which i am sorry.


I'll take this opportunity to reply, before the post is edited or deleted, again. I'd truly forgotten you had mentioned all this in the conversation we had in the 40 or so posts you deleted.


The only thing i am going to say, and i'm not taking it from moral high ground, and i don't intend it harshly.


Be true to yourself. xx



Too late, it's already been edited, again. :rotfl:

Rainbow_Bridge

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

Thanks Ani,

I do practice a form of posting and then editing, which must be very irritating!

I forget that there are people out there who have probably read the first version, which can be completely different to the end result.

You haven't opened a can of worms. This is a genuine dilemma that I am working through. I deleted a lot of my old posts, because they were very personal and made me feel vulnerable, but I am getting more used to the rough and the smooth of posting an internet diary, so I will try not to repeat that.

Your post did originally annoy me, but when things irritate me it is normally because they are hitting a sensitive spot, that needs looking at. If I always heard what I wanted to hear, there would be no room for progress.

I will be true to myself when I can finalise my values, at the moment they are in a state of flux xx.

ani_26

Rainbow_Bridge wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

Thanks Ani,

I do practice a form of posting and then editing, which must be very irritating!

I forget that there are people out there who have probably read the first version, which can be completely different to the end result.

You haven't opened a can of worms. This is a genuine dilemma that I am working through. I deleted a lot of my old posts, because they were very personal and made me feel vulnerable, but I am getting more used to the rough and the smooth of posting an internet diary, so I will try not to repeat that.

Your post did originally annoy me, but when things irritate me it is normally because they are hitting a sensitive spot, that needs looking at. If I always heard what I wanted to hear, there would be no room for progress.

I will be true to myself when I can finalise my values, at the moment they are in a state of flux xx.

Ah, got this post before it's been edited. :rotfl:It's very frustrating RB, which is why i stopped replying. And yes, i saw i'd hit the spot yesterday, for which i'm sorry.


As for the personal posts which make you feel vulnerable. Well, say no more...................................

Rainbow_Bridge

That’s a fair comment. I commit to not deleting posts and typing them up in word and editing them, before I post.
You have permission to post an irritated smilie, if you see an edit message at the bottom of any post of mine xx.
This is going to be tough ............................

Fortune_Smiles

Hi Rainbow. What a dilemma! It made me wonder how does one strike the right balance. For me I think it's about doing what you can when you can as long as it doesn't cause you or others any harm.

Remember hun, this is your diary and you can do with it as you please.

Fortune x

NewLeaf_2

RB way to go with WW. you will get to goal before your deadline.

clippy_girl

Rainbow_Bridge wrote: »

I lost 1.5 lb at WeightWatchers, last night, so I am now 11 stone 1 lb. So close to the 10 stone somethings :):).

Well done! :j

I have now decided Tuesday is my weigh in day (Monday is not accurate as if I eat a big meal Sunday I weigh more on Monday then less on a Tuesday and rest if week as I guess it has stabilised by then)

So I can also claim to be 11st 1lb! race you the two pounds! :rotfl: