Twelve Weeks To Glow

*Robin*

Good morning RB, first of all congratulations on your weigh-in result - :j fantastic :j ; I know how disciplined you must have been to achieve that (having failed miserably myself in the same vein recently)!

I do know what you mean about how sometimes it appears that you don't get your generosity returned. The trick is in deciding who is really deserving of you putting yourself out I think - which is something I've got wrong in the past, probably many times, and I admit I am now much more careful as well.

So maybe you'll look around your friends and decide that there isn't anyone who is struggling desperately, who deserves to be given a free holiday. Which is fine, then it's up to you to decide whether to go with your first plan - maybe you and DH are the ones who should benefit here if the rest of the group can afford the full price anyway.
I did think to myself, if I made that decision, maybe I could treat the whole group to a slap-up meal, or pay for a large hire-car, or something.. But on further thought I'd be more likely to 'pay forward' my good fortune in getting a free holiday by making a donation to a registered charity - which has the benefits of anonymity and someone else deciding where my contribution should most usefully go.

Anyway, I apologise for sticking my oar in; my comment was meant with the best of intentions but I freely admit I'm not thinking too clearly at the moment. All I can say is it seems to work for me..

Rainbow_Bridge

Robin, your comment was great, please don't apologise. This diary is about transformation, and I am still trying to figure out what I want to transform into, so it is really useful to get perspectives different from my own.

I actually am going to set aside an amount, each month, for deserving causes. DH still pays £60.00, a month, to a charity he ardently supports.

I stopped all my donations, but regret it, because if everyone did that what kind of world would we live in? I have decided to put 5% of any savings into a fund, to be distributed to any causes that touch my heart, either people or charities. That feels like being true to myself, and it will give me an incentive to save more.

Sometimes though when you hear a lot of opinions it is like the parable below.

The Parable of the Old Man, The Boy, and The Donkey...

---

An old man, a boy and a donkey, were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, 'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.'

So they then decided they'd both walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride.

So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.

The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

And the moral, of course, is that if you try to please everyone you will never know what to do, it will be hard to get anywhere, you will please no-one, not even yourself, and you will probably lose everything.

P.S. Ani, I don't like the way the type looks when it is transferred from word, so you are just going to have to put up with me editing, though I will try not to delete xx.

Fortune, thank you for your post, I think you have a very balanced approach to life xx.

Rainbow_Bridge

Well done Clippy girl - the race is on xx.

NewLeaf_2

RB I am so happy about your charity giving endeavour

Jox

I'm enjoying reading about your transformation RB, we all need to try different things to see what works for us and makes us feel good.

I have been overly generous all my life sometimes at the detriment of myself but if I'm not generous then I feel guilty and that is a painful emotion as well.

A balance is important and healthy in all aspects of life!

ani_26

As it has been said, it is your diary, to write and be who you please, something which has been said to me, many times.


I'll make this my last post on the subject, and i won't edit or delete it, because i am who i am, and i'm nothing, if not forthright with my opinions, ( i'd have to be, being a yorkie,) and i know you should only " deal " it out, if you can take it back.


I think alot of " us " are much more insecure then we like to make out, and it's all an " act " of bravado?

I don't understand all this transformation " stuff ." We are, who we are, and we don't need to transform to make ourselves " acceptable " to soceity, to be what others want, or expect us to be.There will always be more selfish people, than unselfish people.


Maybe you should take the plunge, have faith, or whatever you like to call it, and go back to being that person you were? Yes, you will always be hurt. It's like me, and my brick wall. You can " transform " yourself as much as you like on the outside, but it's what's on the inside which really matters. Beauty comes from within. There will be many people, i'm sure, who don't understand what i'm talking about, because ani speak, is the best i can do.

Here endeth the lecture. :A

ani_26

Because i said i wouldn't edit my post, i would like to add, they are my opinions and my opinions only, and not those of a troll wishing to cause conflict. I've been sonewhat on both sides of the fence, and i just find it interesting to voice another viewpoint, not to target someone, which is why i rarely post out of my comfort zone, for fear of the way my comments may be construed.

beanielou

Great WL RB.
How much more do you want to loose?
I am trying hard to maintain :rotfl:

Rainbow_Bridge

ani_26 wrote: »

Maybe you should take the plunge, have faith, or whatever you like to call it, and go back to being that person you were? Yes, you will always be hurt. It's like me, and my brick wall. You can " transform " yourself as much as you like on the outside, but it's what's on the inside which really matters. Beauty comes from within. There will be many people, i'm sure, who don't understand what i'm talking about, because ani speak, is the best i can do.
Here endeth the lecture. :A

Thanks Ani, that made me cry, but in a nice way, you are a sweetheart, and I know you do understand, it just takes a bit of getting used to the Yorkshire bluntness :rotfl:xx.

Rainbow_Bridge

beanielou wrote: »

Great WL RB.
How much more do you want to loose?
I am trying hard to maintain :rotfl:

Hi beanie,

I want to lose another 1/2 stone and then i'll be at my target weight. I don't want to get any slimmer than that, as it would be too hard to maintain.

I want to get there though. A slimmer, more balanced version of me is the new aim :cool:, maybe a complete transformation was a bit OTT, but there are a lot of tweaks that I want to implement.

How much more do you want to lose? you have already done fantastically well xx.