Would you pay to go to a wedding?

DVardysShadow

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I would probably go if I was close to them, but I'd give them cash as a gift to cover the meal and gift and I wouldn't spend more than I normally would on a gift.

This prompts the thought of paying for the meal up front and handing over a cheque in an envelope with a statement of account as the gift

Gift.........................£50
Less amount paid to meal.....£30
================================
Cheque herewith..............£20

Mrs.W_2

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

I love that! I'd much rather do that than have to traipse around the shops looking for the perfect gift for two people. Which doesn't exist btw. It never exists. It never sodding exists and apparently people still think it's rude to register at a shop - it's not. It's helpful to people like me who would rather buy you something that you want and you'll get use out of, rather than some annoying 'joint' present that will be stuck in a cupboard for ever more because no one wants it and no one, save for the terminally bland, ever wants to live in a house furnished by other people in some sick crowd sourcing esque experiment with throw pillows and cutlery! /rant

LOL.. By the time I'm using those words in bold, I'm walking into John Lewis to buy a gift card!

lovinituk

DVardysShadow wrote: »

This prompts the thought of paying for the meal up front and handing over a cheque in an envelope with a statement of account as the gift

Gift.........................£50
Less amount paid to meal.....£30
================================
Cheque herewith..............£20

Even better...


Gift.........................£20
Less amount paid to meal.....£30
================================
Monies you owe us..............£10

JimmyTheWig

LEJC wrote: »

There are many couples now who rather than gifts ask for a cash contribution to their home or their honeymoon...in some ways whats the difference in asking you to pay for your meal?

Because when asking for cash as a gift, people can give as little or as much as they want / can afford. Asking for guests to pay for their own food is like putting a lower limit on the gift.

duchy

Honestly

My feelings are my wedding guests are just that-my guests. I wouldn't dream of charging them . If I can't afford to feed them then I can't afford my wedding and need to rethink.

I think some brides get so carried away with it all that simple common sense gets forgotten sometimes.

mrsrobertson

A good friend of mine had her 3rd wedding on a 'budget' and requested we pay £25 each for the meal...

I didn't mind too much until she bought a £1,500 wedding dress.

Needless to say i didn't buy her a gift.

The meal was awful too, we got a chippy delivered in the hotel car park later on!

heretolearn_2

If that is what they are doing, then that is what they are doing. How you feel about it is not all that relevant, whether you approve or not makes no difference to them, you just have to choose whether to still attend or not. Personally, I would go, but count that as my 'gift' and not also get a present. Assuming it's someone whose wedding I did actually want to be at and not some vaguely connected person.

(But while we are all talking about whether it was right or not, no, I agree it's damn cheeky and a lot worse than just asking for a general money contribution instead of a gift, which lets people still set their own budget. If they ARE someone who would listen to your opinion/advice, you might try talking to them about it and that you feel it will create hard feelings/be the subject of gossip for years, and suggest maybe they should plan something different. Either find the cash themselves, put the wedding back to save up a bit more, find a cheaper venue, or go for somewhere they can self cater. I've been to a couple of community hall/buffet done by family weddings quite recently and they were both lovely events, the food was great (just as good as budget buffets venues provide. Lets face it, to get a really amazing buffet you need to spend a lot more. At that price it's bound to be the same old boring sausage rolls/sandwiches/wraps/bit of salad/cubes of cheese that any family could put together anyway? I doubt it's going to include anything really impressive or professional. mmmm dreaming of the 'parma-wrapped grilled asparagus tips' and the 'chilli and cheese stuffed tempura cherry tomatoes' I had recently at a real pro buffet...). I've even been to a low-budget informal wedding where they provided home- made wine and beer, and asked everyone to bring picnic items to share for the food, and no-one was offended or upset by this as it created a nice atmosphere. Some people brought a lot, some people brought literally a 2-pack of sandwiches, but it all worked out fine and it's still not the same as being sent a bill for your food!) Even ordering a batch load of fish n chips from the local shop would be better ....

Tiddlywinks

pearl123 wrote: »

To be honest if they can't afford a full wedding with all the trimmings then they should not have it.
They should do a basic registry office if their budget is not sufficient.

You can still get married in a church - it's not that expensive and then just do a self catering buffet at a local church / community hall after.

mrsrobertson wrote: »

A good friend of mine had her 3rd wedding on a 'budget' and requested we pay £25 each for the meal...

I didn't mind too much until she bought a £1,500 wedding dress.

Needless to say i didn't buy her a gift.

The meal was awful too, we got a chippy delivered in the hotel car park later on!

That's just a self-indulgent bride - it's all about her and eveyone should come and pay homage - it gets my goat!

As a bride, pay whatever you like for the dress, venue etc but don't expect the GUESTS to contribute - you should want them there for themselves and their company not to bask in the 'glory' ...... grrrrrrrr .

MiddyMum

No I bloody would not, I am a guest! I also dont go to weddings where I am only invited to the reception either. This tells me that they only want a gift and I am not important enough to be at the church.

Kildare

I also find this very cheeky. To be hosting a wedding and then ask for contributions towards the food is not on. Especially, as with most parties or weddings you will be paying for your own drinks, taxis, accomodation etc. If I had to pay for the food that would be my gift to them - there wouldn't be extra on top.