Would you pay to go to a wedding?

Mrs.W_2

Oh dear, the soon-to-be happy couple haven't budgeted very well. Asking for a 'top-up' payment from guests could mean their wedding is talked about for years to come - for all the wrong reasons!

Wouldn't they be better off rounding up and organising the Mothers, Aunties, Sisters and anyone else handy in the kitchen, to make a cold buffet tea? Cakes can be made days beforehand and frozen, the same for many other things, and the food would be a darn sight better quality than the gubbins the venue could provide.

Have they asked the venue about taking in their own food? But paying a small premium for use of the venue's plates and cutlery?

If they want to take their own drink, corkage is something else to ask about.

Hoping all goes well for all involved!

[Deleted User]

lemondropp wrote: »

There really is no need to spend thousands on getting married, it's quite ridiculous.

Of course not. But if you also intend to have a party to celebrate this occasion (i.e. a wedding meal) then you should under no circumstances expect your guests to pay.

Can't afford a wedding meal? Don't have one

azzabazza

I wouldn't be happy to pay for the meal. I also dislike the card in the invitation which invites us to contribute towards the honeymoon!

totallybored

Is it just the evening do you're invited to or the full ceremony and reception? If its just the evening do its incredibly cheeky.

I now decline evening do invites as I dont find them particularly enjoyable. I send a £30 gift voucher and RSVP I can't make it. I also prefer to decline wedding invites if it means a day off work, an overnight stay, a long car journey or flight or a combination of these. I'll send £50 or a voucher instead.

Tiddlywinks

Once upon a time - before every bride had to outdo the last - if you had a limited budget then you hired the local community centre, set out some tables and had a buffet with cardboard plates and plastic tablecloths. Friends and family could offer to help with bringing stuff but that was as much contribution as was needed.

When did everything get to be about image?

Surely the most important thing on the day is that the bride and groom get married - in the presence of people who care about them and wish them well.

No massive gift lists held at John Lewis, no gimmicks for 'favours', no asking for money etc Just an invite saying 'we're getting married, come and join us, no need to feel guilty about the pressie or whatever, we just want you there because we want you to share our day'?

NewKittenHelp

I'd probably not go if the potential fall out was minor. I certainly would think much less of them, probably to the extent of cutting them out of my life as much as possible.

If they cannot afford the wedding that they want then they either save up for it, or they scale their aspirations back to what they can afford. They shouldn't be charging their 'guests' to pay!

Dotty1

It already costs to go to a wedding - petrol, outfit, present, sometimes hotel costs etc. It can run into hundreds.

It's really not fair on the guests.

NewKittenHelp

azzabazza wrote: »

I wouldn't be happy to pay for the meal. I also dislike the card in the invitation which invites us to contribute towards the honeymoon!

I love that! I'd much rather do that than have to traipse around the shops looking for the perfect gift for two people. Which doesn't exist btw. It never exists. It never sodding exists and apparently people still think it's rude to register at a shop - it's not. It's helpful to people like me who would rather buy you something that you want and you'll get use out of, rather than some annoying 'joint' present that will be stuck in a cupboard for ever more because no one wants it and no one, save for the terminally bland, ever wants to live in a house furnished by other people in some sick crowd sourcing esque experiment with throw pillows and cutlery! /rant

lovinituk

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Once upon a time - before every bride had to outdo the last - if you had a limited budget then you hired the local community centre, set out some tables and had a buffet with cardboard plates and plastic tablecloths. Friends and family could offer to help with bringing stuff but that was as much contribution as was needed.

When did everything get to be about image?

Surely the most important thing on the day is that the bride and groom get married - in the presence of people who care about them and wish them well.

No massive gift lists held at John Lewis, no gimmicks for 'favours', no asking for money etc Just an invite saying 'we're getting married, come and join us, no need to feel guilty about the pressie or whatever, we just want you there because we want you to share our day'?

That's pretty much how we did ours 4 years ago!

pearl123

To be honest if they can't afford a full wedding with all the trimmings then they should not have it.
They should do a basic registry office if their budget is not sufficient.