How to ensure a burial takes place the way I want it to

Marisco

Hootie19 wrote: »

Thank you all - again.

I took the ring today to the jewellers that valued it for me before. The boss wasn't there, and the assistant couldn't offer price for it. But she said that I "would be lucky to get a third of the valuation" for it. So for a £2,500 ring, they are likely to offer £830.

That's £830 to put towards a flat!!

Not much of a funeral for that. Nor much of a life to be lived on the proceeds.

Are you on your way out now like? Is this an imminent event or are you just looking too far into the future?

So looks like yet another idea squashed.

Only because you can't be bothered to do anything about it!! Take charge of your own life and sod oh if he wants to carry on like this!!

I'm just done with it all. I give up. No matter what I try to do, I seem to just meet brick walls all round.

No, what you mean is, what you've half heartedly tried hasn't worked - so far!

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read and respond. I really do appreciate it.

The biggest thank you would be you coming back on here, telling us you've moved out, got a flat, are getting your life back and are sorting yourself out!! Good luck anyway.

poet123

I think you should be focusing on life and not death.

You do sound quite depressed (not surprisingly) but you can be responsible for what you do and not what others do. It sounds as if you have really tried with your OH and that you are now at the end of your rope. You need to start to put your needs first, go to the GP and ask for help with your OH, and tell him how low you are, don't put a brave face on it. Then, if needs be, move out and start to get your life back.

I know this is easier said than done, but you have two choices here, sink or swim. Good luck and try to see the light at the end of the tunnel, because it is there.

Jox

Wishing you strength Hootie, I'm sure you will find a positive solution and one day might look back at this thread and be glad you're not in this situation any more and be proud of yourself for the new life you're living.

Fire_Fox

Hootie19 wrote: »

Thank you.

Yes, I take your point. But that's just it, isn't it? Existing. Not living. Just existing. I don't think I'd be any better off on my own, with still no money to actually do anything or go anywhere.

And if existing is all I can look forward to, then I'd really rather not bother.

And I wonder what good going to the GP would do? I'd likely also get a prescription for happy pills. And that's it. No GP can do anything to solve the root of the problem, so I don't see the point, really.

Thank you all - again.

I took the ring today to the jewellers that valued it for me before. The boss wasn't there, and the assistant couldn't offer price for it. But she said that I "would be lucky to get a third of the valuation" for it. So for a £2,500 ring, they are likely to offer £830.

Not much of a funeral for that. Nor much of a life to be lived on the proceeds.

So looks like yet another idea squashed.

I'm just done with it all. I give up. No matter what I try to do, I seem to just meet brick walls all round.

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read and respond. I really do appreciate it.

A wholly negative post, it reads exactly like depression talking which is understandable in the circumstances. If you get this diagnosed and successfully treated you will find you are more creative about solutions, are more receptive to solutions from others, that neutral or positive outcomes seem as or more likely than the negative ones.

Your GP might prescribe anti-depressants, they might refer you for talking therapies or they might suggest diet and physical activity. All these are highly effective treatments for a hormonal imbalance in the brain, particularly if you do a couple together. Everyone has problems and negative things in life, these become overwhelming with uncontrolled depression. Treating the condition makes them less overwhelming and means you have the motivation and hope to deal with the stuff that life chucks at you.

We cannot fix things for you, you have to take charge of and responsibility for your own life. There are loads of things that can be done on a low income, loads of people on MSE living that life. But you have dismissed EVERY suggestion and EVERY solution: that is the real problem here. Sorry to sound harsh I do speak from experience. ((hugs))

Fire_Fox

Hootie19 wrote: »

Thank you.

As I said to McKeff, I can't see the point of going to the doctor, as they can't solve the root of the problems.

And I really don't want to have a MH "label" after reading a few posts on another thread where the replies seem to be saying that no future employer would touch someone with a "stress and depression" history with a bargepole. I love my job - it's the one good thing in my life at the moment - but as I work in our local council, there is always the possibility of redundancies in the current economic climate, and so I would need to keep my chances as good as possible, of securing another job, should it come to it.

I am diagnosed with stress/ anxiety, major depression, insomnia, seasonal affective disorder and cyclothymia with a period on Incapacity Benefit and another on long term sick leave. The last time I was unemployed was just four months in a deprived city in the middle of a recession (2010).

I am naturally a positive, friendly and enthusiastic person (tho not when depressed ) and I play this up and *sometimes* use my experiences to my advantage in interviews. I believe my medical history makes me more empathetic when dealing with my clients, I recognise the signs in myself and others and I have spent a lot of time researching self care through physical activity and nutrition.

I am far more employable as a treated mental health patient than I ever was as an untreated or poorly treated one. This is because NO signs or symptoms of depression are attractive to employers - negativity, lack of confidence, poor motivation, difficulty making eye contact, low energy or tiredness, issues with memory or concentration .... who wants that in their department? If you are treated you don't have to mention anything in an interview because they don't have the right to know, and if you have not been having loads of time off sick or don't need any allowances how will they ever find out your diagnosis?

gingin_2

Hootie, thinking of you. I hope you can come back and let us know how you are doing soon.