How to ensure a burial takes place the way I want it to

Marisco

Hootie19 wrote: »

I cannot afford to make a Will. What happens to my possessions, such as they are, I really don’t care. But I want to know how I can make sure that my burial takes places as I wish.

Can I do this just by writing a letter “to whom it may concern” and asking that my wishes are carried out? If so, who would I lodge this with? Would I need a solicitor? (No good, as I can’t afford one.) Could I leave the letter with my GP? I wouldn’t really want to leave it with any of my family, as I don’t really want them knowing anything. (When I say family, I mean husband and adult children – I have no parents and no siblings)

How would my funeral be paid for? I have literally no money. No savings. I have a car, but going by sold items on Ebay, it’s only worth about £400, so can’t see that going far towards funeral costs.

The only thing I have of any value is my mother’s engagement ring (last valued at £2,500) and I would want to take that with me – I don’t want my family getting their hands on it. The family have no money either, so they wouldn’t be paying for it. Would “they” (authorities) force my husband to sell the house to release my share of it to pay for a funeral?


TIA

Do you actually live with your husband or are you separated? I'd have thought the best thing to do would be to discuss it with the family? That way they'll know your wishes. You'd actually bury/burn a 2,500k ring, so your husband and kids don't inherit???? If I thought that way about my family, there is no way on this earth I'd let them arrange my funeral, especially if they know how you feel about them!!! I wouldn't trust them not to hoy me on the local tip!!

bryanb

I don't think you can "Ensure" that your wishes are carried out after your death. You can let people know what you want, but in the end it's a decision that has to be made by your next of kin.

delain

Hootie are you okay?

Your post makes it sound like you think your funeral is just around the corner!

I hope everything works out ok for you.

Tish_P

If you feel that strongly about the ring, donate it to a charity whose aims you support, either while you're still alive or making use of the free Will writing schemes many charities offer in exchange for a bequest.

"Taking it with you" is a bit petty, as well as being wasteful. Anything beautiful and valuable should be out in the world doing good and being appreciated.

Elsewhere

I have never been able to understand why people worry about what happens to their body after they are dead, unless it is purely from the standpoint of saving others the bother of disposing of it? I suppose one might specify "no cremation" because it is less eco-friendly than burial.

My husband and I were talking about it the other day and I said that if my remains could be of use, then that would be the best option. Donate for medical research, maybe -

http://www.hta.gov.uk/bodyorganandtissuedonation/howtodonateyourbody.cfm

or dig a hole in the garden and be useful as compost?

http://www.gardenlaw.co.uk/gardenburial.html

DianneB

I am not sure that the ring would make it into the box with you!! For goodness sake sell it now and have some fun with the money.

Fire_Fox

You and your husband must make wills, even if there is little to leave it makes life MUCH simpler for the surviving partner. It's will month soon so you can do this for £135 between the two of you http://www.willaid.org.uk/
Your estate would have to be used to pay for the funeral, either your husband can stump up the money or your property can be sold (eg. the ring). Bear in mind you have life insurance on your mortgage, do you want your husband to benefit from this?

pollypenny

You'd want to your corpse to be buried wearing a ring, your mother's, so obviously sentimental value?

But corpses can't value anything.

ariba10

As I understand the law.

Who ever arranges the funeral has the last say in where, and how.

Hootie19

go_cat wrote: »

Could you use the money from the engagement ring and pre pay for your funeral. That way your family won't get the ring and any spare money you can spend on yourself.

Have you a close friend you can trust with your wishes?

Although the ring was valued at £2,500 - that's not what I would get if I sold it, is it? As I understood it, you're lucky to get 1/5th of what a jewellery item is worth if you sell it.

I literally have no friends, so no one to trust.