How to ensure a burial takes place the way I want it to

Hootie19

Fire_Fox wrote: »

I think it's sad you don't have any friends, maybe address this by joining organisations for lonely or older people? There are many that offer things like free get togethers and free days out. Also you say you have no money, but you are a member of MSE. Are you claiming all the benefits you are eligible for, are you on a debt management plan if you have debts? Do you really need to run a car or could you use public transport, home delivery for groceries, the occasional taxi? Then you could start a payment or savings plan for your funeral if you want it a certain way.

Thank you again

I have given up on "friends". Everyone I have ever been close to has eventually crapped on me from a great height. So I now choose to steer clear. And one thing I have found is that there is no such thing as "free days out". A day out would imply something outside of my own town, so there will be travel costs. And if a group of people are on a day out, there will at least be the costs of a cup of tea somewhere, and I just can't afford that. And if I take a flask with me - well I'll just look like a right pillock being the only one not inside a cafe or whatever, but sitting outside on my own. No - friends are just not worth it. But thank you for the suggestion.

I am not eligible for any benefits, and with only one credit card, I don't need a DMP. What I do need is to somehow get away from my husband, who refuses to deal with his financial situation, and is dragging me down with him. (I have posted previously on this issue, and have now just had enough of it all - and him.) But I am stuck here due to financial constraints, and just feel like I have had all the fight knocked out of me. I am so tired of it all.

Mojisola

Hootie19 wrote: »

I am not eligible for any benefits, and with only one credit card, I don't need a DMP. What I do need is to somehow get away from my husband, who refuses to deal with his financial situation, and is dragging me down with him. (I have posted previously on this issue, and have now just had enough of it all - and him.) But I am stuck here due to financial constraints, and just feel like I have had all the fight knocked out of me. I am so tired of it all.

If you leave and claim as a single person, you will be.

Cat501

Mojisola wrote: »

If you leave and claim as a single person, you will be.

Depending on OPs work situation

Jox

Off topic but my mum was unhappy with my dad for many years and met people on saga.com

She and my dad are still married but she is hardly home as she visits her new friends, male and female from saga.

She has a small pension and I help her with some money as well.

I didn't agree with her cheating on my dad (she is having romantic relationships) but I understand that she feels that life is short and she wants to enjoy what may be the last years of her life (her mum died at the same age my mum is).

The point I'm trying to make is only you can change your situation, don't wait for others to change. Are your children sympathetic and helpful to you?

Hootie19

I don't think so Mojisola, as I work full time and earn a shade over £16,000pa, so apart from single occupancy council tax, I don't think there is anything available for me.

I wouldn't do a house share, or rent a room. As I've said, I've been crapped on too often in the past, and don't trust anyone now. And if I'm going to be sharing, I might as well be sharing the house I live in now, as I am paying for it anyway.

Mojisola

Hootie19 wrote: »

But when I said I have no money - I literally mean that.

Hootie19 wrote: »

I don't think so Mojisola, as I work full time and earn a shade over £16,000pa, so apart from single occupancy council tax, I don't think there is anything available for me.

I was basing your entitlement to benefits on the first post.

Which is it - literally no money or £16k?

Hootie19

Due to my husband having MH problems, and not being able/willing to deal with his finances, we are £300 short of what we need to pay bills and eat. I really don't want to go into it again, as I've done it to death on here already. He refuses to allow me to speak to the creditors on his behalf as "I will get round to it". 15 months later, and he hasn't.

I really can't keep going into it all. Suffice to say, we are teetering, and I am sick to death of it all.

I should have said "no spare money".

Fire_Fox

I'm worried you are getting bogged down in mental health issues also, Hootie, I hope you can find an escape route. It's important to support partners when they are ill but sometimes we end up enabling and need to leave them to sink or swim. It doesn't sound like your husband's depression is well controlled, does the doctor know this?

Hootie19

He was back at the GP again a couple of weeks ago, and (as far as I know - I wasn't there, of course) he "took a test" (Goldberg type thing?) and he is "still stressed and depressed" and has been given a further prescription for the fluoxetine. He's been told he needs to stay on these "a while longer".

Fire_Fox

Hootie19 wrote: »

He was back at the GP again a couple of weeks ago, and (as far as I know - I wasn't there, of course) he "took a test" (Goldberg type thing?) and he is "still stressed and depressed" and has been given a further prescription for the fluoxetine. He's been told he needs to stay on these "a while longer".

Sounds more like he needs a different drug or different dose if he's not dealing with his financial mess.