How to ensure a burial takes place the way I want it to

Mojisola

melanzana wrote: »

Do not take this the wrong way, please, but if I were you I would donate my body to medical science ( said before on the thread).

That way, you don't have to pay for anything AFAIK, and you can use the ring for things you want yourself. Maybe running away money?

There is no guarantee that they will accept your body when you die so you always have to have a back-up plan.

melanzana

Mojisola wrote: »

There is no guarantee that they will accept your body when you die so you always have to have a back-up plan.

Ok, I think you have a point there, and thanks for alerting folk to that.

But I would think that if you had gone through all the stuff to donate, and then at the end the facility would not take you, then surely they should make arrangements?

I know not Everyone donates to save on a funeral, but still....

Mojisola

melanzana wrote: »

But I would think that if you had gone through all the stuff to donate, and then at the end the facility would not take you, then surely they should make arrangements?

No.

https://www.hta.gov.uk/bodyorganandtissuedonation/howtodonateyourbody/bodydonationfaqs.cfm

What happens if my body is not accepted?

If a medical school is unable to accept your donation, they may be able to help you find another school which can accept your body.

However, if no medical school is able to accept your offer, your estate will need to make suitable funeral arrangements.

melanzana

Mojisola wrote: »

No.

https://www.hta.gov.uk/bodyorganandtissuedonation/howtodonateyourbody/bodydonationfaqs.cfm

What happens if my body is not accepted?

If a medical school is unable to accept your donation, they may be able to help you find another school which can accept your body.

However, if no medical school is able to accept your offer, your estate will need to make suitable funeral arrangements.

Thanks for that info.

No money saving experts guaranteed so for donation.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Your OP sounded like you're planning on taking a dive off Beachy Head in the near future.



If things are that bad, then just leave. Get yourself a small place to live in and get on with a divorce and sale of the house, just to make sure that you're free of it all. Then get on with living instead of planning for death.

If nothing else, you have absolutely no way of ensuring that somebody doesn't lift the ring off your finger before the lid is shut. Whether family or not, I wouldn't put money on it not appearing in cash converters by the weekend.

So stop planning for your death and get on with living.

Seeing a doctor might help. But it sounds like packing a bag and walking out is a damn sight more practical.

coolcait

I have to agree with the 'get busy living' posts.

You have a husband who is effectively !!!!less (whatever medical reasons may lie behind his !!!!lessness). From what you tell us, all your efforts to help him address his problems are stymied.

You have a son who is often violent (whatever medical reasons may lie behind his violence). From what you tell us, all your efforts to address his problems are stymied. He's going to move in with his girlfriend and their baby. A terrifying thought for me, and possibly others who read your thread about his violence.

However, if you've taken the view that he's an adult, and should take his violence away from you and your home, you may see things differently.

You have no friends, no money and no assets. Apart from a ring which once belonged to your mother. Your thread asks how you can ensure that you are buried wearing this ring.

You can't ensure that happens. Others have explained why.

What is the point of trying to make sure that the ring is buried with you, on your cold dead finger? Rather than using it to help your warn living self find a way out of the very dysfunctional life you seem to be living?

God forbid my daughter should ever find herself living such a life. However, if she was in the kind of situation/life you're describing, and was talking about taking a piece of my jewellery to her grave - rather than using it to fund some joy while she was living - I'd be right there haunting her (and I don't even believe in ghosts!).

Marisco

It seems from the posts, that the op has a backstory that some know. I don't, and am just going on what the op has written. No one can tell the op what to do, but if it was me, I'd sell the ring, use the money to rent a flat, and get the hell away!! It sounds like the op's oh won't help himself, and won't let anyone else help him either!

If he wants to "wallow" then let him!! £16,000 is not bad to live on, that's over £300 pw or over £1000 pm! I'm sure there will be some things that can be claimed (WTC maybe) Yes, it is hard to live on your own with not much, but what is the alternative? Get dragged down to the point that it's virtually impossible to climb out? Tell him your leaving and see if that shakes him out of his apathy, if not, then go!

Brighton_belle

One thing going to the Dr's might do, is he may diagnose you as depressed and a course of anti depressants will very likely give you the energy you currently lack, to change your circumstances.
Anti d's can be viewed as like arm bands for the drowning: they keep you afloat while you swim for the shore.
At present, with your own understandable low state, you have no energy to make radical changes to your life, or rather, your existance. Everything will seem impossible when you feel like you do.
That isn't to make light of your circs - they clearly are very difficult, but your posts are so unbareable sad and without hope.
Living in fear of a record of a short bout of anti- d's is understandible, and yet living a life of fear of the what if's is the vicious circle you are trapped in.

Hootie19

Thank you all - again.

I took the ring today to the jewellers that valued it for me before. The boss wasn't there, and the assistant couldn't offer price for it. But she said that I "would be lucky to get a third of the valuation" for it. So for a £2,500 ring, they are likely to offer £830.

Not much of a funeral for that. Nor much of a life to be lived on the proceeds.

So looks like yet another idea squashed.

I'm just done with it all. I give up. No matter what I try to do, I seem to just meet brick walls all round.

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read and respond. I really do appreciate it.

escortg3

Why not do a funeral plan and pay monthly direct debit for it. They are available. Even if money is tight wouldnt it be better to tighten the household budget to allow for this.

Sell the ring and find a nice flat to rent and use the money for the deposit. Leave the other half to sort his own mess out.