Wrongly accused of shoplifting

originalkitten

About a fornight ago my son and I visited our local Tescos. I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia, CRPS and lesions on my brain. 10 days ago I had a mini stroke (TIA). My son is 17 and is my carer. He also has Aspergers and at the time had long hair and had an old tshirt and jeans on as he had been busy helping me with physical stuff around the house.
When we got to Tescos he realised he was hungry and went and bought 2 pies from the Holland Pies stand. He came back and said to me "Oh I best go back for the receipt" Luckily he went back for the receipt.

After we had finished shopping we went and sat on the bench outside whilst waiting for a taxi. My son was just finishing his pie and put the wrapper next to him ready to put in the bin when we were getting in the taxi.

Next minute a huge burly security guard grabbed the wrapper from by my son and said "you may want to pay for that next time lad" and walked to the bin and promptly put the wrapper in the bin.
I responded "hey we have the receipt" to which I was totally ignored and the guard walked quickly back into the store. I walk with a crutch so I tried to catch up to him, getting more and more angry because he carried on walking, and I kept saying "hey he has the receipt. He is not a thief". As I got back into the store he stood by the cctv and just replied "I was just putting it in the bin for you". I argued with him and he just kept repeating that over and over to which I asked to speak to the manager. The customer service girl gave me a warm smile and told me they had contacted the manager.
By the time the manager came down I was livid and I was having anxiety and panic attacks. When this happens I hyperventilate and my voice becomes sky high and squeaky. You could quite easily see I was distressed and the manager just looked at me and said "yes". Now this was in front of all the shop and customers. I told the manager about what happened and he said "I am not going to talk to you out here while you shout at me" I explained I wasnt shouting but I was angry and what happens re panic attacks to be told again "I dont care about your conditions, I will not talk to you while you are shouting". I had to carefully control my breathing so my voice lowered and I said to him again what had happened. The security guard pipes up "I profusely apologised" I then said "He did not" but in a distressed way. The manager says "I will deal with this offline (?) with Bill" and looked at me. I didnt say anything and he eventually said that "I suppose you want to know the outcome dont you?" I said yes please and he asked for telephone number but I asked for it in writing. Im still waiting for this correspondence.

Im disgusted by their discrimination and assumptions. Just because my son is 17, long hair and was dressed scruffy. THis security guards actions caused my son to have a meltdown because of his aspergers he gets very nervous in social situations, has a very very concious view on how others see him, no self esteem, and a routine and everything on this list had been broken and triggered off his meltdown. He then shutsdown where he sleeps for days. "Luckily" this was not in term time otherwise he'd have missed a significant amount of college.

Now my questions are....
1) what is the law regarding accusing people
2) did the security guard break the law
3) was the manager intimidating me by telling me to lower my voice and trying to get the upper hand because it felt like it
4) who do i write to and complain
5) should i take this to the newspapers?
6) a friend suggested I should get a lawyer ....what do you think?

thanks in advance.

Humphrey10

originalkitten wrote: »

Now my questions are....
1) what is the law regarding accusing people
2) did the security guard break the law
3) was the manager intimidating me by telling me to lower my voice and trying to get the upper hand because it felt like it
4) who do i write to and complain
5) should i take this to the newspapers?
6) a friend suggested I should get a lawyer ....what do you think?

1) anyone can accuse anyone of anything. It was just words, the security guard wasn't going to take further action.
2) of course not.
3) no, it sounds like you were being very agressive - you had run after the security guard shouting at him, and then continued to shout at the manager. If you really behaved as you said, I'm surprised they didn't remove you from the shop.
4) no-one.
5) for what benefit?
6) why?

vuvuzela

I can't help with 1-3 but :
4 : writing to Tesco head Office would be your first port of call I think.
5: No, wait and see what Tesco HO say first.
6: Why on earth at this point would you need a lawyer ? I assume your friend suggested the 'C'* word ?

*Compensation.

nikki1520

1 - false accusations made verbally in a public place may constitute slander. However, this is likely to be a civil matter, for which you would need to bring a private prosecution, showing how the slander has affected you or your son, and specifically what damage it has done to you
2. He has committed slander, but doesnt appear to have caused any long lasting sufferingor damage - although you are angry, this is transitory.
3. The manager wanted to stop you complaining loudly in front of his other customers. If you had continued, he may have been able to call the police to deal with you as you were "breaching the peace"
4. The CEO of Tesco if you really feel strongly about it
5. The newspapers likely wont care, as you haven't incurred any harm or loss. And it's your word against the security guard.
6. Ask your friend to stump up for the consultation fee - if they will, then go for it. I think you'll find they change their advice pretty quickly.

Sorry if the above sounds a bit harsh, but it is the legal position, which is what you have asked for. On a personal note, I do feel very sorry for you - it sounds awful.

However,best advice is probably to move on

dancingfairy

It does sound distressing and the security guard sounds a bit of an idiot to be honest. However, all that happened was that security guard made a comment (jokily or not) and you said we've got the receipt and that should have been the end of it. The shop wasn't to know that you had a disability or that your son had a disability. Yes the security guard should have applogised though.
Not sure there is much point in persuing it to be honest. I can't see they did it on purpose. They obviously wouldn't have known the effect it would have had on you or your son. Best to put it down to experience and move on (perhaps thinking through what might have been a more appropriate response for next time in case a similar problem occurs).
Writing and complaining is unlikely to solve anything to be honest (unless it makes you feel better), it's unlikely to change the security guards attitude or the manager and may just mean you relieve the whole sorry experience and draw attention to it again
Best of Luck
df

System

Am I right that you are going to try to seek compensation based on the fact this incident caused your mini stroke 4 days later?

McKneff

If you want my honest opinion, it is in the past, you are doing yourself and your son no favours by hanging onto it. You can easily make yourself ill by going over and over it again in your head.

The security guard made a mistake, maybe more people took notice because you were shouting. We all make mistakes, some big ones, some little one.

I think you are going over the top a bit now.

Get on with your life and shop elsewhere.

spadoosh

Sounds like the guard thought you/son mightve been stealing and was checking it out. Its his job to investigate such matters. He cannot be accountable for your reaction or conditions. fair enoughhe mightve been able touse a bit more tact but when dealing with and discussing theft its normally wuite hard to use tact because, no matter how politley you put it, your always accusing someone of stealing and even a thief doesnt like that.

Sorry to say this, proabbly not the answer you want. Smile and get over it. Theyve got every right to protect their products and staff and if you disagree with their methods (genereally pretty similar wherever you go!) shop elsewhere.

peachyprice

Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, but your reaction was completley OTT and I think you need to share some of the responsibilty for your son's meltdown.

You knew he paid, he knew he paid, it doesn't sound as if the security guard was challenging you, he was passed comment and walked away. You went chasing after him all guns ablazing, knowing full well that your son doesn't cope well with stressful situations.

In answer to your questions:

Now my questions are....
1) what is the law regarding accusing people - anyone can accuse you of anything
2) did the security guard break the law - no, there is no law against passing comment
3) was the manager intimidating me by telling me to lower my voice and trying to get the upper hand because it felt like it - No, he was dealing as best he could, albeit badly, with an hysterical customer
4) who do i write to and complain - Tesco head office?
5) should i take this to the newspapers? - And say what? You overreacted and your son had a mealtdown in Tesco because a security guard passed comment
6) a friend suggested I should get a lawyer ....what do you think? - A security guard passed comment, you over-reacted, what on earth do you think a lawyer could do?

Gordon_Hose

If the Security Guard really suspected your son of shoplifting, he wouldn't have put the pie wrapper in the bin and walked ofF. You'd have been in the office waiting for the Police to arrive.

joannaspanner

This thread has it all, disability, a child with Aspergers, a leading supermarket, and the mention of compensation, all thats missing is that the member of staff was an 'ethnic' !!!!!