Wrongly accused of shoplifting

McKneff

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

If the Security Guard really suspected your son of shoplifting, he wouldn't have put the pie wrapper in the bin and walked ofF. You'd have been in the office waiting for the Police to arrive.

Exactly.............................

joannaspanner

OP seems to have a lot of issues according to the other posts, her oldest son has also aged by 2 years since February.

Faith177

I think your temper took over on this one.

I would have just ignore the security guard. You knew your son had paid that was all that mattered.

Just let it go as someone else said don't let this eat you up there is nothing to gain from that

Looksguywalker

joannaspanner wrote: »

OP seems to have a lot of issues according to the other posts, her oldest son has also aged by 2 years since February.

Since February 2011. He was 15 then and now is 17. Perfectly possible.

simmed

originalkitten wrote: »

About a fornight ago my son and I visited our local Tescos. I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia, CRPS and lesions on my brain. 10 days ago I had a mini stroke (TIA). My son is 17 and is my carer. He also has Aspergers and at the time had long hair and had an old tshirt and jeans on as he had been busy helping me with physical stuff around the house.
When we got to Tescos he realised he was hungry and went and bought 2 pies from the Holland Pies stand. He came back and said to me "Oh I best go back for the receipt" Luckily he went back for the receipt.

After we had finished shopping we went and sat on the bench outside whilst waiting for a taxi. My son was just finishing his pie and put the wrapper next to him ready to put in the bin when we were getting in the taxi.

Next minute a huge burly security guard grabbed the wrapper from by my son and said "you may want to pay for that next time lad" and walked to the bin and promptly put the wrapper in the bin.
I responded "hey we have the receipt" to which I was totally ignored and the guard walked quickly back into the store. I walk with a crutch so I tried to catch up to him, getting more and more angry because he carried on walking, and I kept saying "hey he has the receipt. He is not a thief". As I got back into the store he stood by the cctv and just replied "I was just putting it in the bin for you". I argued with him and he just kept repeating that over and over to which I asked to speak to the manager. The customer service girl gave me a warm smile and told me they had contacted the manager.
By the time the manager came down I was livid and I was having anxiety and panic attacks. When this happens I hyperventilate and my voice becomes sky high and squeaky. You could quite easily see I was distressed and the manager just looked at me and said "yes". Now this was in front of all the shop and customers. I told the manager about what happened and he said "I am not going to talk to you out here while you shout at me" I explained I wasnt shouting but I was angry and what happens re panic attacks to be told again "I dont care about your conditions, I will not talk to you while you are shouting". I had to carefully control my breathing so my voice lowered and I said to him again what had happened. The security guard pipes up "I profusely apologised" I then said "He did not" but in a distressed way. The manager says "I will deal with this offline (?) with Bill" and looked at me. I didnt say anything and he eventually said that "I suppose you want to know the outcome dont you?" I said yes please and he asked for telephone number but I asked for it in writing. Im still waiting for this correspondence.

Im disgusted by their discrimination and assumptions. Just because my son is 17, long hair and was dressed scruffy. THis security guards actions caused my son to have a meltdown because of his aspergers he gets very nervous in social situations, has a very very concious view on how others see him, no self esteem, and a routine and everything on this list had been broken and triggered off his meltdown. He then shutsdown where he sleeps for days. "Luckily" this was not in term time otherwise he'd have missed a significant amount of college.

Now my questions are....
1) what is the law regarding accusing people
2) did the security guard break the law
3) was the manager intimidating me by telling me to lower my voice and trying to get the upper hand because it felt like it
4) who do i write to and complain
5) should i take this to the newspapers?
6) a friend suggested I should get a lawyer ....what do you think?

thanks in advance.

The security guard was obviously wrong about suspecting your son, which is a very understandable mistake given the situation with buying the pies first and then re-entering the store.

All I can see in this thread is arrogance. You know the security guard made a small mistake, so instead of just telling him that you have to rub it in and get everyone involved and try to humiliate him. You seem desperate for attention and for everyone to know how clever you are and how stupid the security guard is (a guy just doing his job). How pathetic. No wonder your poor son is having breakdowns.

joannaspanner

Looksguywalker wrote: »

Since February 2011. He was 15 then and now is 17. Perfectly possible.

Oh yeh! oops

originalkitten

joannaspanner wrote: »

OP seems to have a lot of issues according to the other posts, her oldest son has also aged by 2 years since February.

Always helps to get your facts right doesn't it Joannaspanner. Like that was February 2011. He was 15 then. His birthday is June. We have had 2 Junes since then which means he is now 17 like I stated. Is this all you do all day? Find threads on a consumer site where people come for help to just try and find ways to catch them out so you can troll them? Everytime I see a thread you always have to chastise the OP. I pity you. I came here for advice, to see what the correct procedure for complaining was. To see it from a legal point of view as do others. And you shoot them down, every single time. Grow up. And Yes I do have Lupus, Fibro, CRPS, and my son has Aspergers. Unfortunately I'm white so I am sorry to disappointment.

Right firstly - I wasn't running to the guard. If I ran it would be a miracle. I walk with a crutch and can barely hobble. I did state that up there. If I write "run" I meant not literally. I apologise for not making this clear.
Secondly no I am not writing to get advice to seek compensation. My friend said to get a lawyer that would be able to deal with it properly rather than just a customer complaining. I just wanted to clarify what I said to her which is basically what you said.
Also I did not shout. I spoke loudly. My son was outside waiting for me. I went after the security guard because of the way he had reached over between my son and I and grabbed this wrapper. He acted abruptly and was not joking. He thought he was clever getting at a 17 year old and didnt realise I was with him. My son was freaked out by the fact that someone thought he was a thief, not because his mum went to sort it out. If this man had apologised straight away instead of saying the same thing over and over with a smirk on his face then Id have said thank you for the apology and moved on. Im not an unreasonable person. In fact I am the opposite.
Most of the staff in our local Tescos know me. They know Im not well because our village is small and practically everyone knows everyone else. But that should not matter. I wasnt writing to say woe is me I have these conditions but to show some background information. To show the reason why my son was with me because he was helping me. It shouldnt matter though whether Im ill or not. It should not matter whether my son looked scruffy or not. This security guard should not have approached him. He was outside the shop and came from a different direction from the store. He was walking back into the store when he did what he did.

Im guessing it's case of "you had to be there" to see how wrong the whole situation was. As Ive said Im an easy going person. Im still human myself and all I wanted was an apology. The manager on the day did not even give me an apology.

I am disgusted at the attitude of some of the people here. I think it is disgusting that people come here for advice and all you do is make sarcastic comments and put people down. You ruin it for the good people who do help others and go out of their way to do it. Last time I posted here someone was so frightened of commenting in the thread they pm'd me with vital advice which I used. My grandmother taught me if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all. That is so very true. If you don't agree with something someones written you can tell them but without resorting to personal insults. It's lucky I just see you as a font and not really people but someone else, who is on the edge of despair, could come here, and be shot down by someone like joannaspanner and it could just finish them off. To the trolls you make me sick. To the good guys....keep up the good work.

No need to reply as I'm not coming back. I've got the answers I was looking for. Have a great day!

simmed

originalkitten wrote: »

Always helps to get your facts right doesn't it Joannaspanner. Like that was February 2011. He was 15 then. His birthday is June. We have had 2 Junes since then which means he is now 17 like I stated. Is this all you do all day? Find threads on a consumer site where people come for help to just try and find ways to catch them out so you can troll them? Everytime I see a thread you always have to chastise the OP. I pity you. I came here for advice, to see what the correct procedure for complaining was. To see it from a legal point of view as do others. And you shoot them down, every single time. Grow up. And Yes I do have Lupus, Fibro, CRPS, and my son has Aspergers. Unfortunately I'm white so I am sorry to disappointment.

Right firstly - I wasn't running to the guard. If I ran it would be a miracle. I walk with a crutch and can barely hobble. I did state that up there. If I write "run" I meant not literally. I apologise for not making this clear.
Secondly no I am not writing to get advice to seek compensation. My friend said to get a lawyer that would be able to deal with it properly rather than just a customer complaining. I just wanted to clarify what I said to her which is basically what you said.
Also I did not shout. I spoke loudly. My son was outside waiting for me. I went after the security guard because of the way he had reached over between my son and I and grabbed this wrapper. He acted abruptly and was not joking. He thought he was clever getting at a 17 year old and didnt realise I was with him. My son was freaked out by the fact that someone thought he was a thief, not because his mum went to sort it out. If this man had apologised straight away instead of saying the same thing over and over with a smirk on his face then Id have said thank you for the apology and moved on. Im not an unreasonable person. In fact I am the opposite.
Most of the staff in our local Tescos know me. They know Im not well because our village is small and practically everyone knows everyone else. But that should not matter. I wasnt writing to say woe is me I have these conditions but to show some background information. To show the reason why my son was with me because he was helping me. It shouldnt matter though whether Im ill or not. It should not matter whether my son looked scruffy or not. This security guard should not have approached him. He was outside the shop and came from a different direction from the store. He was walking back into the store when he did what he did.

Im guessing it's case of "you had to be there" to see how wrong the whole situation was. As Ive said Im an easy going person. Im still human myself and all I wanted was an apology. The manager on the day did not even give me an apology.

I am disgusted at the attitude of some of the people here. I think it is disgusting that people come here for advice and all you do is make sarcastic comments and put people down. You ruin it for the good people who do help others and go out of their way to do it. Last time I posted here someone was so frightened of commenting in the thread they pm'd me with vital advice which I used. My grandmother taught me if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all. That is so very true. If you don't agree with something someones written you can tell them but without resorting to personal insults. It's lucky I just see you as a font and not really people but someone else, who is on the edge of despair, could come here, and be shot down by someone like joannaspanner and it could just finish them off. To the trolls you make me sick. To the good guys....keep up the good work.

No need to reply as I'm not coming back. I've got the answers I was looking for. Have a great day!

You had no right to cause such a huge fuss and try to humiliate the guard. The security guard made a mistake. Humans make mistakes. Get over it and move on with your life. That is all the advice that you need.

originalkitten

Simmed I am anything but arrogant and am I am sorry if my post seemed that way. I am trying to type quick as I have to go out and had 5 mins.

I am told regularly that I am kind, caring and humble. I always will put myself out for others so to belittle someone and make them feel stupid for their mistake is so not in my nature.

I didnt let the whole store know. I couldnt care less who knows. I didnt want to show the world he made a mistake. I wanted him to apologise for an incident where he thought he was clever and cocky accusing my son. As I said in my last post you had to be there I guess. It was myself and my son who was humiliated by this man by him standing there chuckling, looking the other way, saying the same thing over and over. I did not know when I wrote the original thread then I would have to put every little detail and emotion that happened. The bench we were sat on was small, and if you can imagine the trolley cover me and leaving a gap between the trolley and wall being about 12inches. My son was sat next to me. The guard had reached down into this gap and grabbed wrthe apper which was in between us. I wondered what on earth was happening. He gave us both a fright and it took us a while to realise what had happened. And Simmed I had every right to ask for an apology. He had no right to accuse us. He should have checked the CCTV. and seen that he had bought the pie. He didnt even leave the store until after I had been through the checkout. He just paid for it and then came back round to me at the fruit stand.

Anyway I didnt come here for your approval. Or opinion. I came here for advice and I got that off the people who don't sit at a computer all day trolling others just for kicks. Ty again to those.

joannaspanner

lol, finishing people off !