Why are men cruel? My experience so far...

mikey72

tenke wrote: »

............- Take guys with a pinch of salt, even if you meet and he seems interersted, chances are you are not never sure he is not lying, taken, having an ego trip, before he pursues further contact seriously
-Guy language is as difficult to read as women language lol:rotfl:

The second guy could just be treating you the same way he treats other men and women. Some people you like, some you don't, regardless of what sex they are. He likes you, but that seems to be all, with no other motive.

I'm self employed, I quite often chat to a lot of my regular customers while I work, of all ages both sexes.
Among them are a fair number of attractive women, married, single, and tbh I've been married for nearly 30 years, I'm happy, and they'd have more chance with Gok Wan. I'm not interested in anything other than a chat to pass the time over a cup of teas while I work. It never even crossed my mind they'd take it any other way.

Edwardia

Man1 - either he was cheating or he was scared off by your no one nighters attitude.

Man 2 - he probably likes you, maybe as a friend or maybe he does want you. That doesn't mean he wants to cheat any more than you'd want a cheater.

With both men though it seems like you were reading way too much into it. As you put it, you're back on the market but you don't need to get into a binding contract with the first man who looks round the property and shows an interest.

If you make time for yourself, be it learning to ride or cycling around France, the I must have a man thing you've got going on will fade and since you'll be more interesting and confident you'll be more attractive than the awkward needy person you seem to be at the moment. Chill, take your time, pick a good un. xx

WelshBluebird

Well part of the problem, is judging from the thread title, you seem to be judging all men from just a couple of bad experiences. Hardly fair at all.

tenke

MummyMummy wrote: »

Im sorry to sound like a witch because im really not but you sound like a right bunny boiler in the making! No wonder blokes are running off left right and center. Whats wrong with just taking things as they are? Having a laugh and a bit of 'banter' (i hate that term but i dont know what other word use!) Why do you need to try and explain to yourself whats happening? Why do you need to analyize everything? Just take things as they are and enjoy them for what they are. X

Well I am not a bunny boiler at all, I dont chase guys, I dont become obssessed, etc, so I find that comment a little offensive to be honest.

I do come from another culture, Im no English and maybe that may influence how I view things.
I highly value honesty, so for me flirting with someone else when you are taken is foreign, so that's why I said at the beginning it is a learning curve for me as well.

I do enjoy the so called banter and I am quite sociable, warm and funny with women and men alike, but it is the romantic side that I need to know to read signs for.

Now as for my over-analizing nature, well that's the way I am, human nature intrigues me and when I see mixed signals I like to understand why, it's only human.

I do know erveryone has a different viewpoint, and that's fine, I know some will have a nicer tone than others, so thats why I read all and thank the ones I feel have shown me a good point put in a nice manner.

tenke

WelshBluebird wrote: »

Well part of the problem, is judging from the thread title, you seem to be judging all men from just a couple of bad experiences. Hardly fair at all.

Maybe it did come out as generalization but I know people are different, so I would happily make that clear now, thanks for pointing it out, so that i revise that.

I put it in thread because I have seen so many lovely people giving advice, that I thought it would help me to have different viewpoints, and it did, have more pointers now;)

As I said before it is a learning curve, dating is a whole new world today, thank it was 10 years ago when I got married, so while hard I'm sure it can be an enriching experience as well:)

FBaby

I don't know which culture you come from but I think dating after a failed gelato is hard wherever you are. I think you are just naive not in its critical meaning just the jack of experience. In a way it us better that you learn to be weary now than once you've set your heart on someone who can be on a very different level to you. You will bed to protect Russell and even become a but cynical maybe about the whole thing. It does take time to get to know someone to know their true intentions and whether they are genuine our not let alone wether you might be compatible or not. the part before its just the 'getting to know the person' nothing more.

tenke

FBaby wrote: »

It does take time to get to know someone to know their true intentions and whether they are genuine our not let alone wether you might be compatible or not. the part before its just the 'getting to know the person' nothing more.

This is just sooo true, I think sometimes when someone appeals to us, we want to skip the stages...:rotfl: but I agree it does take time to get to know someone for real and to see if, there is something there or not. Thanks for your words;)

System

We are out of caveman times now and it's perfectly normal for a woman to ask a man out

Good job i'm married then cause if a man waited for me to ask him out, he'd have to wait a long time.:(

Blackpool_Saver

Work guy is attracted to you but is faithful?

cam guy, uuugh, time waster, wife away on holiday...?

candygirl

First guy- probably in a relationship but wanting a bit of online fun, second one- I really think you have read his signals all wrong.Try and enjoy your life apart from men for a while, and you will meet someone when you aren't expecting it x:A