Why are men cruel? My experience so far...

Fire_Fox

Both situations are pretty casual contact, so it's not really cruel for it not to go anywhere IMO. Avoid it by not getting emotionally involved that early in the game.

mikey72

1) His wife caught him.

2) You won't believe how we can stare randomly into space without even realising we're doing it.
(And we also think of woman as just friends, so when we do eventually realise that our eyes are actually pointing in the same direction at some one, we just smile at them. That can take a while though at times, so blank staring is normal too)

Golden rule - If it's subtle, we're not doing it.

As everyone tells me, a hint to me is something written down, with a time and date by it.

tenke

ktb wrote: »

Watch the movie 'he's just not that into you' and keep it firmly at the front of your mind as a mantra. When I found myself unexpectedly single I found it very useful to not take things personally when guys didn't call or dates didn't go well (even if i felt a bit dejected at times!) When someone really likes you, you usually know about it. When we met, I refused to give my now OH my number, even though I thought he was yummy. He went to real lengths to track me down & arrange to see me again. We are now planning to get married next year

I agree with others that post divorce you need some 'you' time, have fun of course, but keep things casual & take care of yourself.

Good luck

Awwwww, your story made me smile :)

Yeah I agree I need "me " time, thanks for your answer, you laid it gently for me !!! :T:T

andygb

morganedge wrote: »

Guy no. 2 was probably looking at you because he fancied you. Just because someone has a girlfriend it doesn't mean that you can't find other people attractive. I'm a complete 'starer' (sp?)
I can't help but look at attractive people - kind of fascinates me, even if i'm in a relationship.
You telling me that you never stared at blokes when you were married.

I am an amateur photographer, and even at the age of 54 cannot help looking/staring at lovely things - women, cars, plants, wildlife.
If I see a lovely pair of eyes or legs (that is enough for now;)), then I am totally taken in by the visual feast.
Maybe this guy is an aesthetist?

tenke

Caroline_a wrote: »

I think you need to step back a bit. You have just got divorced and you're already lining up men and making wrong decisions. Try to enjoy being single for a while - trust me, it has amazing advantages over living with the wrong man! Additionally, when you hold your head up and show the world that you don't need a man, you will become more confident and far more attractive as you are 'more unattainable'. Most people love a challenge..

Wise words and I think you make a very good point here. Will definitely try to enjoy my " single life " from a more relaxed way :rotfl::rotfl: Thanks :T

pinkclouds

mikey72 wrote: »

Golden rule - If it's subtle, we're not doing it.

Best answer so far!

Takeaway_Addict

If your not one to chase and neither is the bloke (whoever that maybe) then you are both screwed......

FBaby

I don't know how old you are but be prepared that dating past the initial stage where people are looking for their one mate for life it becomes a mine field dating sites being the biggest bomb shell! If you go down that route you'll have to grow thick skin and learn the 'rules'. I was really taken aback when I first realised that the majority of guys on the sure were not interested in finding a long term partner but everything else! I learnt to pick up on the signs. The guy who says he works full time in a responsible job but is logged on the whole day, the one who can't ever chat in the evenings or weekends, the one who is full of compliments/declaring his love after only a couple of emails, the ones whose first word is to ask for more pictures, the ones who want to chat on msn but take ages to reply clearly talking to 5 other girls and that's all before even meeting them! It took me over 4 years using dating sites to find my man and that just as I was about to give it all up.I was the first he contacted this time joining the site after giving it up the previous year. We've been together over 3 years now and very happy. it does happen but you have to know what to expect. For one don't get hung up by pictures. Been shocked to see how they did not reflect the real person including my now partner. His picture was horrible not like him at all no chance of too many women being in touch with him on this basis so got him all for myself!

themull1

I think that you're trying too hard, stop trying to read too much into body language, just be yourself, and you will meet someone, i went on a dating site when my second(oops!) marriage ended, met my current partner, and we've been together for just over a year. Just go with the flow!

fluffnutter

In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt - No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

If you have self-confidence and self-worth, you won't attract these losers. Concentrate on enjoying your life with or without a man.