Quick Question Civil or Criminal?

GobbledyGook

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Really? The first thing i would be doing if it was me in the situation was calling the police to go and check that my children were safe and then calling my solicitors in the morning! She told him today her solicitor doesn't work on a monday hence why she is going to wait until tuesday!

He did ask her doesnt she think that she should do it sooner??!!

Why would she call the police? If the children weren't safe with their father then they wouldn't be with him surely? Perhaps she's aware that the police will not do anything. Without a court order neither parent has the right to ask the police to remove the children from the others care without any real cause for concern.

She may think that a sudden decision to keep the children from her could go against him in court.

If she knows the children are safe in their father's care then I can understand her waiting until Tuesday to speak to a solicitor that she knows and trusts rather than risking rushing to find a new one tomorrow.

If she originally rang, as you said, to find out when he was returning the children and stating that she missed them then she sounds at least slightly bothered about them.

PrincessPlaty

As I said in my OP there is a lot more to it and it was the short version.

I wanted an answer to my question and I have it now.

I am not going to sit here and go through the ins and outs of everything.

meer53

I have a friend who has split from his GF. They have 2 young children. (2 and 5)

His GF has been convicted for running a brothel and money laundering, her family are pretty rough and some of them have been involved with the Police on more than one occasion. When they split, he applied for, and got, temporary custody of the kids. That was a year ago. There have been numerous family court hearings to try to decide who should have permanent custody. It's still not sorted and Cafcass are now involved.

The reason for my post is that although you make out your OH is the better parent, the courts always see both sides and although you say their mother is unfit, she is still their mother and the courts won't listen to any "he said, she said" comments. He will need proof of everything he is accusing her of. My friend obviously has proof that his GF was running a brothel but the courts aren't interested. It's about how she copes as a mother, not about how she makes her money.

Your OH needs to keep his cool and keep to any agreements made unless he fears for their safety, and he needs absolute proof of this if this is what he is saying.

He absolutely needs a solicitor who specialises in Family Law and he needs to be prepared for all the stress that will come his way. There will be a lot ! If he left before because he felt suicidal, how will he feel if his ex gets custody of the children ?

FatVonD

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

The friend was his wife. I was asking from her point of view rather than his because I know how much more threads from women are favoured on this board.

I might have got the wrong end of the stick here but have you only been together 4 months? If that's the case I think you need to respectfully butt out!

Aren't you also the girl that used to work in a lap dancing club and does a bit of glamour modelling for amateur photographers? No disrespect to your career choices (I have worked behind the bar in a strip club and waitressed in my undies throughout my 20s) but I can't see you holding too much moral high ground once the mud slinging starts!

PrincessPlaty

FatVonD wrote: »

I might have got the wrong end of the stick here but have you only been together 4 months? If that's the case I think you need to respectfully butt out!

Aren't you also the girl that used to work in a lap dancing club and does a bit of glamour modelling for amateur photographers? No disrespect to your career choices (I have worked behind the bar in a strip club and waitressed in my undies throughout my 20s) but I can't see you holding too much moral high ground once the mud slinging starts!

Used to work being the right word.

I worked behind a bar in a lap dancing club fully clothed.

I was asking on behalf of my OH not for myself. He needed advice and doesn't have an account wasn't aware that was a crime??

GobbledyGook

If you and your OH intend to fight for custody of his children then you'll have to get used to people questioning you, your intentions, your past, your opinions on the children, their mother, your OH and your every comment about his ex as that is what the court process will do.

FatVonD

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Used to work being the right word.

I worked behind a bar in a lap dancing club fully clothed.

I was asking on behalf of my OH not for myself. He needed advice and doesn't have an account wasn't aware that was a crime??

You've gone a bit further than asking though since you are texting her pretending to be him, haven't you?

So are the 2 beautiful stepchildren in your signature that you are calling yourself mummy to the children of your boyfriend of just 4 months?

meer53

I agree with FatVonD.

It's between your partner and his ex.

clearingout

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Really? The first thing i would be doing if it was me in the situation was calling the police to go and check that my children were safe and then calling my solicitors in the morning! She told him today her solicitor doesn't work on a monday hence why she is going to wait until tuesday!

He did ask her doesnt she think that she should do it sooner??!!

yes, really. I have 'been there, done that' way too many times to play games. If my ex wants to play that game again (and I have literally been there, done that with the none return of our then 10 month old), then there is no other option left than solicitors and courts.

As for the police, they will do nothing. Even with a Residence Order, unless you believe the child to be in danger. My children are not in danger with their father - he's an idiot but nothing else - so whilst I would 'record' the issue with the police and get an incident number for it, I would be speaking to my solicitor first. With a bit of luck, it is possible to get into court on the same day.

clearingout

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Actually seeming bothered about the children would be a good start don't you think?

how do you define 'bothered about the children', though? I would quitely go nuts if my ex retained our children but there's no way on earth I would let him know that. You seem to think that if a mother isn't weeping and wailing then she's not fit. It doesn't work like that. And the courts certainly don't work like that.