Quick Question Civil or Criminal?

Tiddlywinks

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

No obviously he didn't. He didn't have any choice he has been trying to resolve this since he left. None of this has been an easy for him and he has been trying consistently to sort the situation out since he left.

Quite frankly this has nothing to do with the original question that I asked, and if you look back through my previous threads you will find all the answers to your questions.

I'm glad you have never made a mistake in your life and are holier than thou but not everyone is as perfect as you. A mistake has been made and he is trying to make things right for his children, stop being so judgemental.

It has everything to do with the original question as it shows your motivation and reasoning for not returning the children to their mother.

You started by saying the mother was a prostitute, her brother (who has regular contact with the kids) has drug convictions, the gran has questionable personal habits and gramps has alcohol problems...

Then it turns out that their dad, your OH, left them in that situation and came to live with you. Surely he could have brought the children with him - he would certainly have had good reason to, given the alleged living conditions.

Now, I can't understand why your OH isn't moving heaven and earth to remove his children from a situation which, if what you say is true, is damaging and potentially abusive.

I'm also confused that your primary reason for the original question was because your OH wanted to meet the new boyfriend - not because of the catalogue of other issues - which doesn't really demonstrate getting his priorities straight.

PrincessPlaty

That was not the reason, he wants to meet him so that he knows who is around his children obviously, the primary reason was to get the issues regarding the children resolved with her but said that the new boyfriend could be there to give her some reassurance.

OH is trying to do everything he can honestly but this is emotionally draining him, and he is struggling to cope.

I am trying to do what I can to get the right information for him, I didn't ask for a grilling or a judgement did i?

BitterAndTwisted

If the original arrangement was for the father to have his children until tomorrow and that was by mutual agreement, then her demanding them back today won't be of any interest to the police, even if she contacts them. If she is a prostitute it's likely she will have come into contact with the police already, so I doubt that she will be looking to them for any help.

PrincessPlaty

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If the original arrangement was for the father to have his children until tomorrow and that was by mutual agreement, then her demanding them back today won't be of any interest to the police, even if she contacts them. If she is a prostitute it's likely she will have come into contact with the police already, so I doubt that she will be looking to them for any help.

I am unsure if she is still involved in the prostitution and am not aware of any previous police involvement other than when she made false allegations against my OH.

Thanks BitterAndTwisted.

BitterAndTwisted

If she contacts the police they will have that false allegation information at their fingertips in a trice. I doubt they would offer her any help and I doubt very much that she will contact them in any case.

I'd be thinking about sending her a placatory text message if she won't answer the phone telling her that he's quite happy with the arrangement they previously agreed, that plans have been made and it would seem rather unfair to the children to return them early.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Does she have criminal convictions for prostitution?

After all, Social Services have already investigated and found no evidence to substantiate a single one of your OH's allegations towards her.

To some, that jingles the Bullcrap detector.


You'd be surprised how many men portray their exes as wh0res and addicts and child abusing mentalists when they need to come across as the poor maligned innocent to get into somebody else's underwear/nice house/bank account.

VitaK

Can OH and ex not sort this out between them like adults.

I understand the need for reassurance but in fairness, the ex could do that just as well. If you don't trust her judgement then there are other things to do that dosen't involve meeting her new man.

If there are conserns for the childrens safety you should contact ss with all relevant evidence.

Am I the only one thinking that 'man to man' sounds like a punch-up.

mum2one

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

There is no court orders at all, Maintenance is paid direct however with each payment there is a unique reference stating maintenance for x month.

The other child is 4.

OH has been involved in their life continuously apart from 1 week where she stopped him from seeing the children after she got him arrested for a crime he didn't commit and then a week later admitted to the police she was lying! x

thats gd that ur covered re payments, going age wise as courts tend to take childs opinion when there 10, before that its based on what and how cafcass view the situation. thats a maor plus as well thats hes been there from the start, the court + cafcass would take into account what the contribution in time spent together is.

What i would suggest is start a diary of events, document everything, and when the kids come ie they don't want to go back,

Def go for the solcitors with view to court, xx

PrincessPlaty

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Does she have criminal convictions for prostitution?

After all, Social Services have already investigated and found no evidence to substantiate a single one of your OH's allegations towards her.

To some, that jingles the Bullcrap detector.


You'd be surprised how many men portray their exes as wh0res and addicts and child abusing mentalists when they need to come across as the poor maligned innocent to get into somebody else's underwear/nice house/bank account.

Not as far as I am aware she doesn't I am not sure how far the police took it in regards to the false allegations however I do know that they were not happy!

I know it is the truth, I knew her before me and OH were together and she told me herself that she was doing it and I have seen some of her online profiles too :eek: lets just say it leaves nothing to the imagination....

VitaK wrote: »

Can OH and ex not sort this out between them like adults.

I understand the need for reassurance but in fairness, the ex could do that just as well. If you don't trust her judgement then there are other things to do that dosen't involve meeting her new man.

If there are conserns for the childrens safety you should contact ss with all relevant evidence.

Am I the only one thinking that 'man to man' sounds like a punch-up.

That is all he keeps saying to her 'can't we sort this out like adults for the sake of the children' clearly she isn't capable of doing it though. I honestly thought the same about the 'man to man' thing it certainly wouldn't be the first time that threats have been made.

mum2one wrote: »

thats gd that ur covered re payments, going age wise as courts tend to take childs opinion when there 10, before that its based on what and how cafcass view the situation. thats a maor plus as well thats hes been there from the start, the court + cafcass would take into account what the contribution in time spent together is.

What i would suggest is start a diary of events, document everything, and when the kids come ie they don't want to go back,

Def go for the solcitors with view to court, xx

Diary has been kept since day dot! We have dates, times, screenshots of every text you name it!

Youngest is in bed asleep, eldest is going up soon. Have heard nothing from her since 2pm which said 'just drop the kids off later end of'.

That was after OH asked if they could talk like adults! I replied to her very calmly asking what had changed since yesterday and heard nothing back.

Tiddlywinks

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Have heard nothing from her since 2pm which said 'just drop the kids off later end of'.

That was after OH asked if they could talk like adults! I replied to her very calmly asking what had changed since yesterday and heard nothing back.

Why are you sending her texts? I think you should leave it to them. There aren't many ex wives / GFs that would be happy to get a text from the latest squeeze who was getting involved in a spat - particularly when she used to be a friend.

Just my thoughts...