Is this assault?

Dunroamin

paddy's_mum wrote: »

This is the harshest comment I have ever made on this site but I cannot contain my rage.

OP - you silly cow! How blasted dare you shield your son, putting so many others (including your own grandchild) at risk because you 'love' him!

I'm outta here because I don't believe that I can keep a lid on my disgust at this utter insanity.

:eek:

Rather an understatement, I thought.

Macca83_2

FATBALLZ wrote: »

Put it this way, if this was a girl who had thrown a glass of water, nobody on here would think anything of it.

If the same girl had taken a baseball bat to her father and punched her partner, then yes, i would have the same issues

Spendless

Janepig wrote: »

My two children, although much younger, often tell each other off for misdeeds that they know I'd get cross about, although I usually tell them not to. I see no reason why one adult (ie the 20 year old brother) couldn't tell off, and/or tap, another adult (the nearly 22 year old) around a dinner table for bad manners.

Jx

Me, neither, my 2 do the same thing with each other. What I don't understand is the need for both parents to tell him off also for the same thing.

coolcait

OP, if your story is real, if all of those incidents of violence are real, and if you really love your son, you will report him to the police.

better for him to get a criminal record for the incidents you've mentioned - which might be the wake-up call necessary to make sure he gets help - than for him to get a criminal record for seriously injuring or killing someone -as that's the way he's going.

Anyone who says "I don't want my son to move in with his girlfriend, as I'm afraid he might hurt their baby - but I'm not going to do anything which might get him a criminal record" is either a troll or not thinking straight.

duchy

OP This man has a CHILD

Step away -You said you work in Child Services-What would be the stance of your colleagues if you described to them the incidents that are happening in your home as a case history of another family ?

Frankly your son needs help-but you do too to find the confidence to deal with this situation realistically and I think counseling could help YOU.

jellyhead

Spendless wrote: »

Me, neither, my 2 do the same thing with each other. What I don't understand is the need for both parents to tell him off also for the same thing.

I assume that he told his brother where to go, so one parent joined in and said they didn't want him using his fingers in the communal bowl, but he argued against that too so the other parent joined in as back-up.

I know a 15 year old who'd have done the same. He'd have dismissed his little sister and his mother because he thinks he's always right about everything and just argues against anything that anyone says.

Mindless_Clone

paddy's_mum wrote: »

This is the harshest comment I have ever made on this site but I cannot contain my rage.

OP - you silly cow! How blasted dare you shield your son, putting so many others (including your own grandchild) at risk because you 'love' him!

I'm outta here because I don't believe that I can keep a lid on my disgust at this utter insanity.

:eek:

Ouch, that is harsh...


...but valid point in there. OP, you need to step out the warm waters of denial and accept that your son is abusive and violent. And if he won't seek help for himself, then perhaps a criminal record and a court might force the issue.
Just ask yourself, what's next? The baby gets tossed about? his brother gets pushed down the stairs? Are you going to wait until he's hospitalised - or worse killed - someone before you act?

It's hard to ask any mother to do this to their son but I'm afraid this is a case of tough love and you all need to stand up to him before it escalates.

jellyhead wrote: »

I know a 15 year old who'd have done the same. He'd have dismissed his little sister and his mother because he thinks he's always right about everything and just argues against anything that anyone says.

There's a big difference between 15 and 22...

... actually, they're boys, there isn't really.

OP, I am sorry you are in this position and I wish you strength to deal with this as you know you must.

Cherry_Bomb

OP I really feel for you but my god you need to wake up and stop excusing this behavior. It's not normal and it's not going to miraculously go away.

Personally I wouldn't kick him out yet. I imagine he'd go to his girlfriends yes? Putting the poor girl and their baby at unnecessary risk.
I'd give him the ultimatum now. No talking no more excusing his behaviour with depression and blah blah blah. He sorts himself out now or he's going to get an unpleasant wake up call.

con1888

He really needs to get professional help.

I see I was correct when I guessed he had ADD. The reason that came to mind is that an ex of mine when I was 17/18 had ADD and the simalarities are striking, he had a terrible temper and lost the rag and menial things that most of us wouldn't even bother with at all. We broke up as I couldn't deal with him anymore.

Few years later he ended up in jail in an attention seeking attempt where he stole a family members car and engaged in a police chase... please get your son help before it gets to this stage.....

jellyhead

Mindless_Clone wrote: »

There's a big difference between 15 and 22...

I wasn't trying to excuse his behaviour at all, just pointing out a scenario whereby both parents got involved. He might just be one of those people who will not be told, and argues with everyone.

Maybe the second parent waded in because they are tired of family mealtimes being ruined by one giant toddler.

Throughout this whole thread I've just been wondering ... who cleaned up the glass?