Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

Arthog

Speaking as a Baby Boomer - some posters seem to think we have led a charmed life! This is our 4th Slump, including the Devaluation in the 60s, and we have survived them and will survive this one too. This should give hope to those who don't believe that our finances go up and down.
I have been homeless, lived on Benefits and been made redundant.
We are now living a comfortable retirement entirely through our own efforts, for eg we literally built our own house, and we also went without to pay as much as possible into pension schemes.

At school we learnt to write by writing (and discussing) proverbs such as:

Look after the pence and the pounds will look after themselves.
Cut your coat according to your cloth.
A fool and his money are soon parted.

Cheer up! You have the 'We Can Get Through This' gene!
If you are marking time waiting for that job to come along, remember another saying - ' the best way to kill time is to work it to death!'

System

Ive given both my eldest children money to help them out of a financial mess they got themselves in. Not that much, just under £500. They both know, there will be no more handouts.

My third daughter, she is pretty self sufficient but tries it on at times. She lived at home for longer than the older two and yes, ive helped her out financially (but she always paid me back).

My middle son. He burned his bridges about 18 months ago..... Talk about a slap in the face when i tried to help him out. He wont be asking again.

Youngest, well he is financially still dependant on us but i am trying to encourage him to find a part time job that will fit around his studies.

burnse

I am very lucky with the help that i recieved off my parents. My dad paid for my accommodation in my final year of university after i was diagnosed with cancer in my second year. I use to work two jobs in the holidays to pay for accomadation however with the treatment i was getting i was unable to work and could not get any benefits as i was classed as a full time student (told to apply for final installment of student loan!!)

My car failed MOT a few months ago and i had finance sorted to buy a new car, took my dad with me for advice on what to get. He ended up paying for car outright and i pay him what i would the finance company each month but with no interest.

Know that if i or siblings do get in to serious trouble can rely on parents to help.

sazpot

Both my other half and I would never ask for and do not need financial support from out parents but both sets do gift us far more than is necessary or needed.

I don't see it as a problem, they are financially stable with no mortgages or loans and wouldn't give us anything they couldn't afford (or wanted to spend on anything for themselves). We are very lucky and we know that.

Just because we get these gifts doesn't mean we would have problems without them, we still understand the value of money. I do assume that when we get married it will be paid for by them as a gift but if for some reason it isn't I would be more than happy to pay myself.

My parents have always supported my grandparents by paying their phone bills, buying televisions for them, anything they needed. It is about what people can afford and understanding and appreciating any help you get.

Accepting money from your parents is not greedy if, you dont ask for it and it is going to sit in their bank account doing nothing until you inherit it anyway. Why struggle now when the money is there for you?

The real problem is that some people can be very bitter and jealous, my first car at 17 was a new fiesta (I had to pay my parents back £3k in installments and they paid the rest) and a few days after I got it I was in tears and asked my Dad if I could sell it and get an older car as I was getting grief about it at sixth form. He told me not to be so stupid and I ended up with that same car for 8 years.

As long as the parents and child are happy and know their reasons, who cares!

AlwaysPondering

When I was looking for my first house, my parents who had just inherited some cash said they would loan that to me as a deposit. Which meant I could have a smaller mortgage, and am paying it back to them monthly. It's all covered in their will, so if they do depart, then my sister gets the value I still owe, then we share what's left.

The only other time they have paid out for me is on my wedding.. As the reception venue didn't know how many bottles would be used on the guest arrival (we set a limit so people didn't go silly) that they would give us the final total at the end of the evening..

We paid for 95% of the bill, leaving just a little amount left to be covered at the end, and because I didn't really want to be thinking of money on my wedding day, my mum said she'd sort it.. and I told her I'd pay her back when we got home from honeymoon..

Well we returned from honeymoon, went to see my folks and said how much do we owe you.. and Mum would not tell me, and told me that it was my late wedding present.. Still to this day (over 7 years later) she will not tell me..

At the moment it seems we are lending money to my in-laws, rather than borrowing it from my parents..

onlyroz

In the past I have borrowed money from my parents to (e.g.) buy a car, but I have always paid this back to them as soon as I could. When we moved to this house we borrowed £20k from them to enable us to get exactly the house we wanted - but we paid that back to them within a year.

Dunroamin

My parents paid for me to stay on at school for far longer than they had been able to do, encouraged (insisted!) me to have a Saturday/holiday job as soon as I was able to do so and then expected me to pay my way while living at home and generally independent. They would have felt that they had failed utterly as parents if I still needed money from them as an adult!

suki1001

My In laws were mortified that I was choosing to have a wedding reception in a venue that offered free food if you had over x amount of people. I didn't want a wedding with bells on and it seemed like a good deal to me. they weren't happy, a bit mortified that we were doing it on the cheap and offered to pay for the food at a different venue.

I wasn't bothered about saving up loads for my wedding because I don't like big expensive weddings, I just wanted to get married. It's their snobbery that cost them - that's how i see it. It was nice of them to offer to pay, but it was for their benefit not mine.

Mankysteve

Does the 30quid a month pocket money paid into an old account count?

I keep telling them to cancel it but it never does get cancelled, I'm 25 now and work fulltime.

BankofMumandDad

The last time my parents paid for anything was my wedding. That was 26 years ago and I'm proud to no longer be a drain on their resources. I hope my own children will be as independent, although I expect this generation will get married and settle down much later than we did. Until then, BankofMumandDad has to remain open for business.