Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

Sambucus_Nigra

I paid my mum's mortgage for several years so that she could retire. It works both ways.

crochet_2

cathy2702 wrote: »

Wll my folks gifted us £3000 towards our deposit for our first home 2 years ago, and now we're getting married next year they gifting us £5000 towards that.

I can't thank them enough, my parents are my hero's

They're not well off but good with their money, I'll treat and repay them in the future when I'm financially better off.

Should you maybe not try to live within your means? There is no need to spend thousands on a wedding.

There are plenty of adult "children" helping out their parent's financially too, why does the media and mse never cover this?

Sambucus_Nigra

crochet wrote: »

Should you maybe not try to live within your means? There is no need to spend thousands on a wedding.

There are plenty of adult "children" helping out their parent's financially too, why does the media and mse never cover this?

Not got the 'WOW' factor. Can't moan about the next generation. Doesn't make good copy.

NRTurner

My parents have helped me out a lot over the years; after finishing university the wage for my first job only just covered our basic outgoings, and I had to support my unemployed then-girlfriend whose parents couldn't help her (she was the eldest of four siblings, whereas I'm an only child)

Now I'm more settled, I can live comfortably within my means each month, and can usually put around 15% of my net pay in savings each month.

However, next year I'm getting married, and my parents have offered to pay for a large chunk of the costs. We didn't ask them to, but they have made clear that it's a gift and that they want nothing in return, for which we are very greatful.

dragonette

My OH gets financial help from his parents, they offered to help while he went back to uni as his previous degree failed his year badly (strikes, lack of marking coursework due to industrial disputes etc). Sounds terrble that they pay the mortgage on the flat we live in but it is cheaper than rent in our area (and they will tranfer in OH's name once he's graduated and working). I have work in my profession but only on a casual basis as there are no stable jobs in it atm. We are in our 20's and slap bang in the middle of the graduate unemployment range. That's with 3 undergraduate degrees and a masters between the two of us.

I would prob be better financially off staying with my mum and paying her rent, but am very grateful to MIL/FIL for their support of their son. I would much prefer to pay everything ourselves but it just wouldn't happen. It would be next to impossible to get to work from my mum's too.

Oh, and I don't qualify for working tax credit (on the occassions that I get the required number of hours) as I am too young and don't have kids. Only other help we get is single person discount on council tax. Without steady work, I pay the bils and FIL pays OH's half. What else are we meant to do?

ETA: some months my pay is 450 pounds, we are not living extravagantly. When i have more income, I put as much aside as possible

fluffnutter

Whilst I think it's important to be financially independent from your parents for all sorts of practical and emotional reasons, it's interesting to think about why this is seemingly on the increase.

For generations the general trend has been for offspring to be wealthier than their parents. Hence there's not really been much call for parental handouts. However, this all changed with the baby boomers and the (to use an overused phrase) current economic climate.

Now we have a generation of people likely to be less well off than their parents and therefore needing their financial help. It's not born out of laziness or a shift in cultural values - it's born out of necessity.

tenuissent

I have only ever had a small income but I have been very careful about saving as much as possible, and my parents left me some money when they died - so did my first husband. I never asked my parents for money when they were alive.

I have lent one daughter £20,000 to buy a house, and she is never going to be able to repay it because although she works hard, it is in a low paid job. It has to be recorded in our will, to be fair to all our six offspring, that she has already received this sum.

I lent her younger sister £10,000 for the same reason, and because she is highly paid, she returned it in instalments over the next two years.

My son is a disaster area and I have to help him out constantly. If I didn't, he would be begging on the streets. He is a lovely son and helps me in all sorts of ways, as does his wife, but he is completely incompetent in terms of practical daily life. I adore them both, but I don't know what they will do when I am gone. I only hope his very competent sisters will take over.

fluffnutter

cathy2702 wrote: »

Wll my folks gifted us £3000 towards our deposit for our first home 2 years ago, and now we're getting married next year they gifting us £5000 towards that.

I can't thank them enough, my parents are my hero's

They're not well off but good with their money, I'll treat and repay them in the future when I'm financially better off.

crochet wrote: »

Should you maybe not try to live within your means? There is no need to spend thousands on a wedding.

I don't think 5 grand is an unreasonable sum to spend on a wedding. Quite modest really. Plus it's a gift. I think most parents would like to be able to give their children some money to help out with their wedding and might feel hurt if this money is rejected. Personally I don't see this as an example of cathy having a profligate view of money.

wifeforlife

crochet wrote: »

Should you maybe not try to live within your means? There is no need to spend thousands on a wedding.

We do live within our means, my parents 'gifted' us the money, we didn't ask for it, that is why I specified it was a gift. I'm just very lucky that my parents wanted to do this for us.

Our only debt is our mortgage, we've two kids both in childcare and we both work full time.

Molly41

I help my children a lot. I cant bear to see my eldest son in tears about money. It is very hard for them at the moment. He works many hours on the minimum wage to scrape together a living. We also help practically by supporting and encouraging further education, providing food and lifts and paying for family holidays. Yes Im a soft touch but I would rather help in the present than leave it to them in the future.