In complete despair :(

daska

mianjakesmummy wrote: »

for the record, he has never ever laid a finger or even raised his voice at my children, i would never ever put my children in a position where they may be in danger - they have not seen anything of what went on as they have been at their dads.

for the record, there's a whole lot more to abuse than physical violence, that's just the most visible aspect and it isn't always present. personally I wish my first husband had been as physically abusive as he was emotionally - it would have been far easier to leave with other's support!

ALIBOBSY

OP I hope you are right and wish you all the best for the future and have a happy and easy pregnancy.

Good luck
Ali x

PolishBigSpender

sassyblue wrote: »

OP, you're an idiot.....

Good luck though. You're going to need it.

I'm sorry, I have to agree with sassyblue.
Even his father said

he was a joke and he shouldnt have gone back and that i am best of without him in my life

The guy is a bully and a psycho. Making you delete your friends from Facebook - that alone would be unacceptable for me. Shouting at you for looking at other men when driving??? Is he mad? And all this circus with killing himself, why would you want someone like that around your baby, especially that he showed you he's got no qualms hurting you, even though you're pregnant!
The guy is bad news and I can't understand why you took him back. He betrayed you, he hurt you, he wanted you to kill your baby and, frankly speaking, he behaved like a complete psycho.
I'm shocked you took him back.
Good luck to you, you will need it.

PolishBigSpender

mianjakesmummy wrote: »

hi everyone,
when i said about him making me delete male friends from fb that wasnt stricktly true, we sat down together and it was my choice to delete them. And when i said about grab marks from him pulling me out of the car - at that time i was actually refusing to get out of the car and fighting with him so he wouldnt be able to get me out.

And why would you want to delete your male friends?
As for hurting you, that's unacceptable, regardless of the situation.

You sound like a classic abuse victim. He's manipulating you.

rosered1963

I have just read this thread and am really shocked that you have taken him back, OP. I fear you are really going to get burned by this man. You say you are "starting from scratch not for anyone elses sake but our own". How can you be starting from scratch when you are already pregnant with his child? I fear for you a bit to be honest. By the way, I'm no man hater, but I know a bad one a mile off. Good luck

gravitytolls

Ah honey, I feel for you.

Look, you're doing what you think is best for you and your family. As others have said, alarm bells are ringing .... If your friend told you the facebook and car argument stuff, what would you think about this man?

But, you're pregnant, your mind and your heart are too closely connected right now, and sometimes we just need to give things a chnace and see how things pan out.

I fear that your past experiences of an abusive relationship have coloured your feelings about this one, as this fella is controlling rather than vicious, so perhaps you don't see the similarities.

Anyhoo, the main thing is that you keep yourself and your children in a calm, happy, safe environment, and that you will keep family and friends close to you, so if things do spiral out of control, you can get the support you need.

In the meantime, I'm prepared to consider that siginificant changes in a personal life will affect a persons behaviour ~ leaving children is hard, sometimes giving it another whirl simply because the thought of saying goodbye to them is too much to bear, but then realising big mistake.

But, this excuse only works for so long, he needs to be sorted before the baby arrives, as sleep deprivation and crying babies bring enough stress on their own, and you need to be a strong couple by then.

Good luck pet.

pebbles88

Didn't want to read & run.

OP, as others have said, pls pls be careful, protect yourself & your children. Things often sneak up on us when we think we're in love without us realising.

You've said yourself that leopards don't change spots, he's put his ex through the mill, pls don't let him do the same to you & your children.

You sound like a lovely person, don't think that this guy is your only option for happiness & love. You are worth more.

I truly hope it all goes well, good luck with your pregnancy, as you've had mc before, make sure you take it easy and let him look after you too. ((((((HUGS))))))

pebbles88

gravitytolls wrote: »

Ah honey, I feel for you.

Look, you're doing what you think is best for you and your family. As others have said, alarm bells are ringing .... If your friend told you the facebook and car argument stuff, what would you think about this man?

But, you're pregnant, your mind and your heart are too closely connected right now, and sometimes we just need to give things a chnace and see how things pan out.

I fear that your past experiences of an abusive relationship have coloured your feelings about this one, as this fella is controlling rather than vicious, so perhaps you don't see the similarities.

Anyhoo, the main thing is that you keep yourself and your children in a calm, happy, safe environment, and that you will keep family and friends close to you, so if things do spiral out of control, you can get the support you need.

In the meantime, I'm prepared to consider that siginificant changes in a personal life will affect a persons behaviour ~ leaving children is hard, sometimes giving it another whirl simply because the thought of saying goodbye to them is too much to bear, but then realising big mistake.

But, this excuse only works for so long, he needs to be sorted before the baby arrives, as sleep deprivation and crying babies bring enough stress on their own, and you need to be a strong couple by then.

Good luck pet.

Fantastic post, couldn't agree more

DFW2

All the best in your pregnancy and for a happy and safe future for you and your baby. Womens Aid dot org dot uk have a website and helpline number for further help and advice if you need it.

PolishBigSpender

pebbles88 wrote: »

You've said yourself that leopards don't change spots, he's put his ex through the mill, pls don't let him do the same to you & your children.

Exactly, he's been mean to his ex and his children - do you think it was fair on them to come back, then change his mind and leave again? They must feel just as awful!
He's manipulative and is looking for the best place for him to be - doesn't care about anyone else.
It's so so sad that women let men treat them like that