I just don't know what to do. I am so depressed. I need to get this out.

dancingfairy

You think of your little cat. He sounds lovely by the way. Cats can sense when their human needs a bit of TLC. They can be very therapeutic - just remember he needs you. Unconditional love (well as long as you feed him, lol - like you said he can't answer back, won't mind you crying, and will support you whatever).
Glad you got through the night and are feeling a tiny bit better - I hope you can get the support you need today. Can you phone the docs and say you need to speak to a doctor today?
Take care
df

amyloofoo

millyaulait wrote: »

Hi, everyone.

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone that replied.

I appreciate every single reply so, so much. It amazes me that complete strangers come together and help each other. You are all really wonderful people & I thank you.

I didn't manage to call the samaritans, I wanted to but I just kept sobbing at the thought of it so I took myself to bed and just tried to sleep.

Thankfully my cat was tired too and he just cuddled up next to me with his little purr & it made me feel a little less lonely. Sometimes it really is the little things that make a difference when you're so low. It's not like a cat can talk you down or make you feel horrible like some people do.

I still feel awful today, I can feel myself constantly welling up, but I feel like there is now definitely help out there, and that I'm not really alone thanks to all of your replies.

I think I am going to brave up and go see my GP, probably tomorrow if I can get an appointment. Surely if I have hit rock bottom then there is nothing to lose by going to see them, I can only gain from doing this.

And again - THANK YOU ALL because you potentially just saved my life. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have anyone to talk to, or just a place to let it all out for a night. xxxxxxxxxx

There will always be lovely people on this forum who are happy to help, but I'm really pleased to hear you're going to see your GP as hopefully they will be able to give you the ongoing support you're likely to need. Please post again if you feel like you need to talk - there are a few of us on here who're insomniacs so there's usually someone around whether its day or night :grouphug:

Do you have the number of your local crisis resolution team? If not, then your GP should be able to provide you with this. They're available 24/7 if you're in crisis and feeling that the situation may get too much. It's always a local number so you don't have to worry about cost, and if it becomes necessary then they can respond quickly in person to make sure you're okay. I know it might seem like an extreme step, but if you're feeling so low you're considering self-harm then they can really help and are probably the most appropriate people to talk to.

Hope you're able to see your GP and they can give you the help you need and want,

Amy xx

Bennifred

Hi Milly!

Well - you know where we are! And not just for the bad times

Do you think you could make a huge effort and get to the doctor's today? It would be one day sooner to feeling better, rather than putting it off until tomorrow. I know you're probably exhausted after last night, but things always seem worse in the middle of the night, and I would hate for you to have another night like that.

Just walk in, up to the desk, and say you need to see a doctor urgently. Don't be embarrassed, or think your illness is any less urgent than a heart attack - it isn't. Please do this today, for those of us worrying about you if nothing else! And come back and tell us, OK? x

sharpy24

Hi Milly,
I think you are doing well to communicate with others about this, you are very brave. Only you can change your outlook on life and for some it's a chore, but keep at it and it's easy to manage. I don't really think medication helps- you need to sob it all out of your system it's good to cry and talk to people, we are all human. It's good in lots of ways to be sensitive. You need to pin point and focus on the things that make you happy in life not the things that make you sad like this boyfriend, don't let him eat your energy. I had a really bad relationship and suffered for it, in the end I had to accept that I needed to shut off that person from my life that was making me unhappy and fortunately found someone that makes me very happy everyday. Fate is fate who know what's around the corner... who knows what you could be missing out on! I think you should focus on the good things in life that are free- express yourself good or bad in art, photography, poetry, music or write... it will make you feel a whole lot better It's very hard to get over the mountain but once you do it's exhilarating.

Cat501

Hi milly - just found your thread and want to echo the support given here. So glad you're going to a doctor - as bennifred says, do you have a friend who can go with you, or even a family member if that's more suitable? It can seem like such a huge effort to make and if you're anything like me you'll really need someone to encourage you to go ( I need quite forceful encouragement ). xxx

bright_side

Hi Milly, I'm glad you have been feeling a little brighter today and I hope that continues. Seeing your GP is still a must, even if it's just to talk - it's important that they know what's going on for you. Anytime you need to 'chat', come back here. We all care, even if we are strangers. Lots of love and hugs xx

Xhale_2

Hi Milly,
you've been on my mind today and I am so pleased that you are considering taking steps to help yourself it means you have got some strength to draw on from yourself. Sometimes its hard to see the strengths you have but you have already proved that xxxx sending you good vibes.

meritaten

hi milly - hope you are feeling a little better today. You took the first step to recovery last night by posting, the second step is now to pick up the phone and make an appointment to see your GP. Until then if you need to talk it out - come back to your thread and post. I am sure one of us will be checking on you - Those words on your screen are coming from people who are concerned about you and want to help, so please let us.

ali-t

Hi Milly, I see you are in Scotland. Have you heard of breathing space? they are the younger, cooler version of Samaritans

http://www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk/bspace/CCC_FirstPage.jsp They are open through the night when there is no-one else to listen. It is funded by the NHS and Scottish Government so they can put you through to medical professionals if they assess this is what you need. Samaritans are great but are a listening service consisting of volunteers in comparison with breathing space that is staffed by professionals in the field.

Best wishes and I hope you are feeling up to making the call soon.

busiscoming2

Glad you are thinking of going to the GP. Tiny steps...