I just don't know what to do. I am so depressed. I need to get this out.

Noctu

Big hugs and I am thinking of you Milly. If the thoughts get close to overwhelming could you try and do something, anything - mundane e.g. making a cup of tea or cleaning the bathroom? Sounds silly but sometimes just any distraction can help.

I'd also second the Samaritans. Baby steps - this too, shall pass and you will be a stronger person for it.

candygirl

Please reach out for help hun, it's the first step to improving your life xx:A

bright_side

Please, please, please seek some help asap. I promise you, you will feel better for it. I have felt like you do now many a time - there is no need to be alone with your pain. Just having someone listen to you and acknowledge your feelings will make the world of difference - even if that person is a stranger xx

NewTaub

Don't post much but couldn't walk away from this one.

I'd also recommend calling the Samaritans or if you don't feel confident enough to call email them. They are fabulous, compassionate volunteers who will listen without judging you.

It is so important that you discuss your feelings aloud - as others have said; typing on here was the first step. It is so difficult to deal with anything when you get this low but just taking that one step to talk about things can give you the strength to get to sleep tonight and then you will feel stronger to face the day tomorrow.

Going to see your GP when you feel like this is terrifying because you don't have any confidence in yourself so how can you explain yourself but you will find things so much easier if you do. Going to see your GP doesn't necessarily mean that you will be put on medication or have to worry about the stigmas of mental health but it does make someone knowledgeable and experienced aware of how you are feeling and they will help you decide things that you could do to help yourself that /you/ are comfortable with. You will not be made to do things you don't want to.

Please, take heart from the people in this community who care enough to reply to your post despite being 'strangers', I hope it shows you that people care so much - sometimes you just have to speak up before you can see them.

I promise that if you can summon the strength to talk to someone, whether it be a crisis line, your GP or family/friends you will feel better, even if only by a tiny bit.

Thinking of you x

RazWaz

fionamay41 wrote: »

Please do try aand get to your gp, I found myself in the same position a few weeks ago, woke up to my debts, depression rubbish marriage and addiction to painkillers and just for extra measure I am also recovering from a routine operation.
Took a deep breath went to gp and blurted it all out amongst the tears, snot and sighing. Gp was fab really took his time with me, discussed various options and treatments. Three weeks on aim still depressed and in debt, but now I can cope better with things.
Please to get some help there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is not easy but gets easier.
Be strong x

Are you my clone? I'm exactly the same as you right now, 7 weeks post op, addicted to painkillers with no money and lots of bills to pay.

I broke down a few weeks ago and saw my GP and told them how I felt, she put me back on Anti-Depressants again and they really are helping me get over it all and start moving forward again, so OP, please try and see your doctor. You are ill, and there is nothing wrong with that - you'd see a doctor for any other illness so go see them with this.

fionamay41

Razwaz maybe we should start a club and Milly can join us when she is ready, all welcome xx

meritaten

hun - Please phone the Samaritans - it doesnt matter if you just sob down the phone. They will be there and its a connection to another human.
We are here too - but the forum doesnt have a human voice and all we can do is be words on the screen. We ARE here though and there are humans typing these words in.

Milly, can you tell us why you feel like this? Why do you feel so bad?

Miss_Havisham

At different stages of my life (I'm 56 now), I've needed to call the Samaritans who were fantastic, and see my GP for depression and start taking anti-depressants. This seems an odd thing to say but I felt (still do) that I'd achieved a lot by doing these simple things, which gave me just enough confidence to live (very dramatic but it's how I feel).

Been on anti-depressants for 10 years now and as long as I feel stable and relatively happy I will continue to take them - all my life if necessary. GP keeps and eye on me and will adjust the does if he feels it's appropriate.

The oddest things helped me when I was at my lowest, and might help you too. I decided to sort out my papers etc - took me days/nights to sort bills, statements, filing, shredding, make a spreadsheet of all my insurances, set up a monthly financial s/sheet so I could see what I was spending etc. I got a bit obsessive about it but it kept my mind active and I saw results quickly which is what I needed. The other thing was to have the radio on all night (I live alone). A talkie channel. It felt like I wasn't alone, especially with people calling in - some of them were weirdos but made me laugh at 3am !

What was very revealing to me is that several neighbours have suffered with depression, stress, "nerves" or a breakdown. I took a chance telling the nice woman next door why I wasn't working, and before long others were telling me their stories. We are supportive of each other now which is a great comfort to me as I live alone.

Enough about me - please do call the Samaritans tonight if you still feel despair after reading all our replies. Please do see your GP (or another if it would help to see one you don't know as well). If you feel you can't explain how you feel, give him/her a copy of this thread to read.

Thinking of you - don't give up now you've taken the most difficult step. Let us know how you are getting on.

Miss H xx

poorly_scammo

I know exactly how you feel OP. I've been there.

I also recommend the Samaritans. Don't be worried about wasting their time or feeling that you oughtn't feel the way you do. Just give them a ring.

Secondly, you need to see your GP. If you feel suicidal you really need to see him/her. My OH dragged me to see mine many moons ago otherwise I wouldn't be here now.

Thirdly, and yes this will take some effort: is there anything you can do to take your mind off how your feeling? It could be dusting, having a bath, making something to eat for tomorrow. Doing something and concentrating on doing it - living in the moment if you like will help if you give it a go because it takes you out of your state of mind. Some people meditate, some clean the house - it's detaching yourself from your feelings and allowing yourself to think about something else.

Fourthly, you may want to write down exactly what you feel and why if there are specific reasons for it that you can think of. You might want to write it all on here or on paper. Punctuation, grammar, sentences - all that stuff doesn't matter. Writing exactly how you feel whether angry, ashamed, guilty, upset, lost, etc. can help because you sound as though you're holding a lot in.

Please try some of the above and remember, you don't have to feel this way. There are people who can help.

Scammo

badlass

Another depressive at your service Milly. I do the not wanting to wake up periodically and understand your loneliness. You will always have people here to talk to, but the Samaritans are a wonderful option right here right now if you feel like reaching a little further out tonight. A gp at your practice or even the nurse is another option as has been said already.
You have taken a huge step already with your post here and may feel that is enough for now...baby steps are best...steps which will feel alien and wobbly initially but we can do the virtual hand holding and take those steps with you.
NEVER feel ashamed...you are ill, there is no shame in that.

thinking of you

Lx