Overweight/underweight child.

pleasedelete

It goes in cycles. My son was 12lbs when born (yes ouch ouch ouch) and was chunkly until he walked then stick thin. Age 11 he started to get a bit stout and y6 check said heavy but not overweight (or similar). Then he shot up and was wearing shorts 3 years old (not age 3 ) as waist was smaller. Now age 14 he is getting a bit more chunky but I predict another growth surge as his feet have gone from 8 to 10 in a month.

My daughter has always been thinner but she has had at least 2 chunky periods. She is 17 and revisiting her size 8 clothes having gone to a 10 and back again.

Don't worry about it. I think getting children to exercise is the key. I don't really exercise and battle against weight. My husband exercises all the time- eats like an elephant and has no issues.

I grew up with a mother with weight issues (she only ate apples for a year at one point but never exercised) I wish that I had been taught to enjoy sport and exercise more and have insisted on that with my brood.

I want my legacy to be balanced family meals and exercise.

FBaby

mildred1978 wrote: »

I really can't see what swimwear has to do with it to be honest............ :huh:

Neither do I.... gosh these comments annoy me!!! Is it relating to concerns that some horrible men might look at the picture and get turned on by it? How is that any different to the same man feeling the same whilst on the beach? Honestly, I really don't get this over concern over pictures on a public forum. Can those who see it as a crime come and explain please???

As to the statement of not needing to worry about any child's weight, I think there is a difference between showing concern, that can be interpreted as keeping an eye, encouraging good habits, seeking advice as the poster is doing and worrying, which would involve radical actions, going to GP, putting child on diet, telling the child that they are overweight etc....

[Deleted User]

JC9297 wrote: »

Why would you need to give your daughter food just because her brother has some? She is not saying she's hungry whereas he is, so just give him some - some toast or cereal is fine.

It sounds simple doesn't it, but to a child its not, especially when they are close in age like these two are. If one has something, automatically the other wants the same, they don't see it as having differing diet needs, just one being allowed something (anything not just food) and the other isn't.

Until they are of an age to appreciate the reasoning behind, its up to the parents to do the reasoning and protect the "hard done by child's" feelings.

I'm sure I could have put that better, but right now I can't.

JodyBPM

Deleted_User wrote: »

It sounds simple doesn't it, but to a child its not, especially when they are close in age like these two are. If one has something, automatically the other wants the same, they don't see it as having differing diet needs, just one being allowed something (anything not just food) and the other isn't.

Until they are of an age to appreciate the reasoning behind, its up to the parents to do the reasoning and protect the "hard done by child's" feelings.

I'm sure I could have put that better, but right now I can't.

Spot on. If DD sees me give DS something (food or anything else), then she will ask for the same. I then have the choice of giving it to her (which she doesn't need, and I'd prefer for her not to have the extra calories) or not giving it to her and explaining why (which I don't want to do, as I don't want to give her even an inkling that her weight might be something to be concerned about).

[Deleted User]

I get ya, because i have a close gap and try to understand the views from all angles, DS, DD, mine etc. Ultimately we want our children to feel equally treated and in their minds food (especially if they are good eaters like yours and mine) is still fair game.

I'd prefer for her not to have the extra calories) or not giving it to her and explaining why (which I don't want to do, as I don't want to give her even an inkling that her weight might be something to be concerned about).

Of course not and your being responsible, you are looking for a way of dressing it up to your DD so she doesn't feel DS is getting preferential treatment, yet looking after her needs too.

OP, is she old enough to understand that DS needs the extra food for reasons discussed, so she doesn't feel she is missing out. Tricky isn't it, i'm not sure i have the answer.

With my two, I ask DD

What would you like for breakfast? (choice of cereals)
What is DS having?
Never mind what he is having, what would you like?

Or

DD have you had enough? Is your tummy full or would you like a little bit more?
What is DS having?

I can't win, just remind her, its not DS's tummy, its hers and she isn't missing anything by declining food due to being full. She is learning slowly, but its not easy for her. I sometimes encourage her to take a break between dinner and pudding so her brain catches up with her stomach.

My dad has always been a fast eater and he will say his downfall is not letting his stomach catch up with his brain (takes around 20 mins to recognise fullness apparently??).

jellyhead

Why is Jody getting so much stick on this thread? She has said her daughter's gorgeous and not fat, but she is realistic enough to see that her children have different body types and her daughter will get fat if she eats too much.

Children's clothes tend towards the average, and Jody's daughter DOES have a bigger tummy measurement than most girls. She's not fat and it's not a belly, it's just her body shape. Nothing needs to be done about it, but if she gains extra weight then she'll struggle to find school uniform to fit her.

I have 1 chunky child and one extremely underweight child, but there's a big age gap so they are at different schools and don't see each other's lunchboxes, eldest has larger plates of food but that's okay because he is 16, not 6 - and he eats after youngest has gone to bed.

As they are similar ages I think the idea of giving him full fat milk and her semi or skimmed is a good idea. Also, if you send them to school with a banana for breaktime will the youngest be given an additional piece of fruit? Our school gives free fruit to reception and year 1.

jellyhead

On the subject of waists not doing up on clothes ... my 6 year old's best friend is a girl and she has the same body shape as your daughter. She's not fat but her tummy and chest are just a lot rounder than most children are.

When she's older she'll be able to buy clothes in the correct size, but while she's a child she is stuck with the 'one size fits all' school uniform. BHS sell 'generous fit' school dresses, and they fit much better on a child with a wide chest.

I buy plus fit trousers for my son from Next but I haven't seen any girls plus fit. My son isn't fat, and people who see photos of him are surprised when I say he is under the care of the school nurse for having such a massive BMI. He is in proportion and nothing wobbles on him, except his thighs, but because his body shape is just so wide he can't wear ordinary trousers. His hips are too wide and his thighs are too chunky. His stomach is flat and he can run, he's never out of breath or unhealthy. He's not fat, but his body is just mahoosive! His head is adult size, his wrists and ankles are massive without having any fat ... his hands are like dinner plates, his shoulders are really broad.

When we're on holiday and we have ice cream, and fish and chips too many times you can see him develop fat, he actually gets moobs. Obviously we don't want him to have moobs all the time, so his diet has to be controlled.

If I let him have crisps and chocolate as often as his school friends did that would be cruel, because he'd get fat and wobbly, and nothing would fit him.

Rockporkchop

I saw this thread when it first started and I am still sitting here open mouthed about it.

I would never in a million years put photos of my children on this website, in a swimsuit or otherwise. It's not just to protect their privacy, it's to protect my own, and it's completely different from putting photos on Facebook. OP - millions of people read this site everyday and there is a huge chance that some of them are your family, friends or even mums from school whose children are friends with yours and will recognise them and be able to identify you. You have now given them the opportunity to read every aspect of your life, your financial position, your views and beliefs. You will have to be careful what you write from now on as you will never be sure who is tracking your posts. I just can't believe you have voluntarily given up your privacy and anonymity for the sake of getting opinions on such a strange subject.

BTW your children are gorgeous and perfect.

JodyBPM

jellyhead wrote: »

On the subject of waists not doing up on clothes ... my 6 year old's best friend is a girl and she has the same body shape as your daughter. She's not fat but her tummy and chest are just a lot rounder than most children are.

When she's older she'll be able to buy clothes in the correct size, but while she's a child she is stuck with the 'one size fits all' school uniform. BHS sell 'generous fit' school dresses, and they fit much better on a child with a wide chest.

I've seen the generous fit school uniform in BHS, but its too far the other way! Sizing one size up seems to work best for her...

I buy plus fit trousers for my son from Next but I haven't seen any girls plus fit. My son isn't fat, and people who see photos of him are surprised when I say he is under the care of the school nurse for having such a massive BMI. He is in proportion and nothing wobbles on him, except his thighs, but because his body shape is just so wide he can't wear ordinary trousers. His hips are too wide and his thighs are too chunky. His stomach is flat and he can run, he's never out of breath or unhealthy. He's not fat, but his body is just mahoosive! His head is adult size, his wrists and ankles are massive without having any fat ... his hands are like dinner plates, his shoulders are really broad.

When we're on holiday and we have ice cream, and fish and chips too many times you can see him develop fat, he actually gets moobs. Obviously we don't want him to have moobs all the time, so his diet has to be controlled.

If I let him have crisps and chocolate as often as his school friends did that would be cruel, because he'd get fat and wobbly, and nothing would fit him.

It sounds as though your DS has a similar build/genetic make up to my DD. I'm confident that we're both being responsible parents by keeping an eye on their weight, without making them aware or affecting their body image. Honestly, I think it would be so irresponsible of me to ignore the issue and let her blow up like a balloon!

Sambucus_Nigra

Kiboko wrote: »

well here's a novel idea, how about actually answering the question posed, rather than coming over all 'outraged of tunbridge' and accusing people of things that aren't part of the question.

Here's an idea - stop trying to tell people what to do!

If you are having trouble understanding that people will respond their own way, perhaps internet forums aren't for you.

The op could easily have said 'how do I stop my DD wanting something when her brother has something, he needs feeding up and she doesn't' without the swimwear shots. So you have got to ask what exactly the pics add to the query.