Real-life MMD: Should we pay more than a fair share of honeymoon cost?

caxia

Perhaps the other parents (rightly I would say) think contributing to the honeymoon as well as the wedding is going to far and this is their way of trying to put a brake on spending before it gets out of hand??

lesmartin

What comes to mind is why the other parents agreed to pay half the honeymoon and then back tracked? Was it that the honeymoon subsequently booked was a rather expensive one which was too expensive for them to pay half of? It appears the other parents are now in a terribly embarrasing situation possibly through no fault of their own.
This could be completely wrong, but if it is the situation the honeymooners should be told and the two sets of parents could tell them what the "agreed" budget is, and the honemoon could be booked accordingly. Whatever happens the other parents are going to be left embarresed

patricia_elizabeth

I married at 18 my husband was 22,my parents were skint,I paid for my outfit the cake,he bought the ring his suit,we took our own snaps we nipped down the registry office and went to a room in a pub for the party,my dad paid the drinks bill,we didn;t have a honeymoon,Your kids must be grown up so why aren't they paying for themselves? instead of mumfing

floss2

Personally, if this were either of my kids, I would tell them that we can afford to give you £xxx to add to whatever you have saved and whatever other people give to you, to be added to the budget for the wedding and honeymoon. Then they know exactly how much they will have to spend in total, and can then decide how to share out their budget and what is most important to them.

Why not suggest that they wait and have their honeymoon 12 months later on their first anniversary, then they can have their dream holiday and save up for any shortfall in contributions.

XxXfashionqueenXxX

Just pay half and say, 'This is as agreed and fair. If you can't do half then they'll have to have a cheaper honeymoon or pay it themselves.' (Which, most couples save up for anyway in advance).

P.S. I would put in a penny for a laugh and say, 'This is what I can afford'. :rotfl:

StMarguerite

I am amazed that the couple would be happy to start their married life with a honeymoon paid for by their parents - surely if they are getting married they should be standing on their own two feet. My husband and I paid for everything - wedding and honeymoon. If they can't afford to pay for their own honeymoon then they should forego it until they can!

credit_crunch

my soon to be in laws have paid for our upcoming honeymoon, and have also contributed to the cost of our wedding entertainment.
My parents are footing the majority of the bills, with myself & my fiance, paying for things like suits, rings, flowers, dresses
My fiance's parents are much much more well off than my parents, plus he is an only child, but we never asked for their help with anything, and any money received has been gifted.

I was a guest at wedding where they asked guests to contribute to the cost of their honeymoon, as they had lived together & had no reason to do a gift list as such.

I wouldn't feel under pressure to pay anymore, and nor would I expect my parents to be paying for stuff that I couldn't afford.

sarah01uk

Surfer wrote: »

Very lucky to have parents that can contribute towards wedding and honeymoon. We had to save up and pay for it all ourselves. Maybe if they paid for their honeymoon they would valued their relationship a lot more!

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet so sorry if this has been covered already but statements like this really make me :mad:

It screams of someone with a chip on their shoulder tbh.

I'm getting married soon and our parents have offered us financial help.
That doesn't mean we don't value our relationship! What on earth does that have to do with it?!? It does't make your relationship any more valid than ours just because you had to save - as we would have done without our parents' kind and generous offers.

Noone said that the couple involved have even ASKED for the money and certainly not that they've thrown a strop at being told their parents can't afford as much as initially.
My parents LIKE to share their money with me for this sort of thing and see it as part of their role, as they are able to do so. I will certainly do the same for my children (making sure they don't become spoilt).

I'm sure some of you will disagree and take against this but couldn't hold it in - sorry!

Talent

The six of you need to sit round a table and discuss this. Decide before the meeting what you can afford, then write a cheque for that amount. Let them spend it as they want. If they waste it on an expensive honeymoon.... well so be it.

omayana

I think the first part of this problem is when you describe the bridal couple as 'children'. They are not children - they are people embarking on adult life with all its responsibilities.

The other side's parents cannot afford to pay their 'fair' share of the honeymoon costs. I don't imagine they relished having to tell you this.

imho, you should all discuss the question with your offspring and I am sure that together you will come up with a solution that will suit all parties.

Sorry to sound a bit harsh but I do think people can get carried away with goodwill as soon as weddings are mentioned and don't realise how the costs mount up. It's meant to be a joyous occasion, not one spoilt by worry about how to pay for it.:)