Real-life MMD: Should we pay more than a fair share of honeymoon cost?

fionadc

I dont know anyone whose family paid for the honeymoon, I reckon you shouldnt even be paying half! If you can afford to, and you want to, contribute to the cost of the wedding. Likewise, the other family can contribute within their own capacity, but I personally think its up to the couple themselves to pay for the honeymoon!

Go to the kids first and suggest they make up the amount that your in-laws are unable to.

Victoria270385_2

They are very lucky to have their parents pay towards their wedding never mind their honeymoon. We saved and paid for it ourselves. Im sure your children will understand if you both just pay the same amount towards the honeymoon and if there is any left over that you can afford that you then want to sepend on the wedding then do so. If your children are not happy with that then they need to grow up. In my opinion its their wedding and honeymoon why should anyone else pay for it except the people getting married.

brewerdave

Weddings are so expensive these days,that few parents can afford to pay for them completely. My 2nd daughter is getting married next month and she and her fiance are paying for the wedding themselves but have asked wedding guests to contribute cash towards the honeymoon rather than having a wedding present list. My daughter realises how much it cost my wife and I to put them both thru Uni and we have given both of them money towards deposits on their first houses,cars etc, so when we gave them a cheque towards the honeymoon they were both extremely surprised and grateful.

pennypinchUK

They've done the embarrassing bit and told you they can't afford it, so it shouldn't be too awkward for you now to openly discuss money with them. As almost always with these "dilemmas", just talk to your fianc!es parents and to the couple. Then, spend your money (or not) as you see fit.

zoeisababe

I think they should be grateful for any contribution towards the wedding. it should tbh kept between you and the couple.

My mum has paid for my wedding cake. its a secret as I dont want anyone else to feel like they have to contribute towards anything.

DustD

The other parents have put you all in a very awkward position, sounds like they are trying to wrangle out of it.

What exactly does 'pay what you can afford mean'? £5k? £1k? £1???

Its completely unreasonable that they are asking to pay less than your share. If its booked already, I would consider cancelling if possible and re-booking a cheaper alternative. Bad I know, but the other parents agreed to pay half when it was booked, so whats changed their tune?

You should both pay equal shares if thats your gift, and let them know that they are quite frankly out of order.

JayD

I don't understand why you can't match what the other parents put in and you son and his finacee put in the shortfall.

If that is outside their means then perhaps they should go on a cheaper honeymoon. It is not a good start to a marriage to treat yourself to things you can't afford - especially when they are being given so much financial help towards it.

Brian_Steele

If you are better off than the fiancee's parents then it is not unreasonable for you to contribute more. As long as you are satisfied that this is genuinely the case - and who wants to start out on a marriage with a deception? - then it is actually a great piece of openness that the other parents are prepared to have such a frank discussion. If you were planning on making the happy couple's day special by helping out, then do what you can.

BUT...

The couple needs to be in on this too. They need to understand that money is not as unlimited as they had thought. If you cannot afford to sub both wedding and honeymoon, then tell them and ask for their input, either financial or by way of a choice between which is more important to them.

Certainly don't be embarrassed about raising it with them. If her parents are prepared to be open with you - relative strangers - then they should be open with the kids - their own daughter/future son-in-law.

Common_sense_mum

Why do we all have to want what we cannot easily afford? Weddings can be so expensive (and take years to pay off) or they can be personal, special and affordable. My advice? Offer to pay a set amount for the honeymoon and the wedding to help out. It should then be up to the couple as to how they manage it, and allow them to make informed decisions about what they can afford themselves. If they already have a home or sufficient belongings to put into one, then perhaps they could ask for money in lieu of presents towards their honeymoon.
I hope you all have a lovely day!

Lozza1973

They should pay for their own - they are not children!!