Two Pennies Left

Pearla*Merle

A big hug from me, Fortune. What a hurtful thing to happen I sympathise - it wasn't close family in my situation, but someone I thought was very good friend (and had shared a house with for a couple of years) didn't invite me to her wedding and it was just devastating.

When things like this happen around big events, well, there's no going back really. Unfortunately I let it fester (she had written to me saying she was only inviting close friends - which of course was news to me that she didn't see our relationship in the same way - we'd been out of touch for a while due to my ill health, so it felt quite shocking as she was aware of how ill I'd been and I realised how little she really cared), anyway, I never cleared the air with her and to be honest, it still hurts as we have other mutual friends and I felt (& still feel) very left out, especially as I lived quite far away from them all. I feel like if I'd at least got some closure on it that might have helped as the sadness of it all still hits me quite forcefully every once in a while.

It's hard to know what to do in such a sensitive situation but if there's any way to clear the air with them after the wedding, do try (& considering how much thought and care you & Mr F have given to helping them with their big day you both have a right to call them up on their rude behaviour, imho). You'll always be on edge with them otherwise and it's the sort of thing has a way of snowballing into more problems in the future. Sending you lots of love and hoping things feel better soon xx

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Hi Fortune, jellycopter ride sounds exciting

Sorry to read about lack of invites - b$gger them. Families are completely weird imo. You and Mr Fortune can carry on living your lives in the knowledge that you and he are surrounded by loving friends and other family.

Pour a glass of wine and enjoy the gorgeous weather. I'm just about to go out and it's 39° - don't know how Gallygirl copes

Best wishes Tilly xxx

gallygirl

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

Pour a glass of wine and enjoy the gorgeous weather. I'm just about to go out and it's 39° - don't know how Gallygirl copes

Best wishes Tilly xxx

Well it's more like 19 where I am and raining so I know which I prefer

I agree with the others FS - you've done what you feel is right and families are odd - don't let the b*ggers get you down xx

Fortune_Smiles

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Good advice but emotion can cloud the implementation. At least you know that you did everything that you could. On a plus side, at least you had the use of your time rather than having it dictated by someone with clearly suspect judgement. Take care

You're right INOD - easier said than done. It's not the first time I've experience unkindness this year though and I've already started spending more time with the people who want to spend time with me and have my best interests at heart. It's different with family of course so I'll have to think carefully how I manage things.

Thanks for the advice.

Fortune x

Fortune_Smiles

shala_moo wrote: »

That's a shame Fortune when you seem to have done a lot to help.

Weddings are a funny thing and sometimes bring out the worst in people xx

You're right there Shala. I think you see the real person in stressful situations like this and I'm not liking what I'm seeing at the moment. Groom has behaved quite badly about a couple of things too. Not much we can do without putting a cloud over the wedding but weddings only last a day and I won't be putting up with any more shenanigans once it's over.

Thank you

Fortune x

Fortune_Smiles

takingcontrolatlast wrote: »

Try not to dwell too much on it FS; you have a good heart :A

Thank you Tcal. I like to think so and I think this says more about them then it does about me.

Fortune x

Fortune_Smiles

Pearla*Merle wrote: »

A big hug from me, Fortune. What a hurtful thing to happen I sympathise - it wasn't close family in my situation, but someone I thought was very good friend (and had shared a house with for a couple of years) didn't invite me to her wedding and it was just devastating.

When things like this happen around big events, well, there's no going back really. Unfortunately I let it fester (she had written to me saying she was only inviting close friends - which of course was news to me that she didn't see our relationship in the same way - we'd been out of touch for a while due to my ill health, so it felt quite shocking as she was aware of how ill I'd been and I realised how little she really cared), anyway, I never cleared the air with her and to be honest, it still hurts as we have other mutual friends and I felt (& still feel) very left out, especially as I lived quite far away from them all. I feel like if I'd at least got some closure on it that might have helped as the sadness of it all still hits me quite forcefully every once in a while.

It's hard to know what to do in such a sensitive situation but if there's any way to clear the air with them after the wedding, do try (& considering how much thought and care you & Mr F have given to helping them with their big day you both have a right to call them up on their rude behaviour, imho). You'll always be on edge with them otherwise and it's the sort of thing has a way of snowballing into more problems in the future. Sending you lots of love and hoping things feel better soon xx

Oh Pearla - how awful for you. It's frustrating at the moment because if I say anything it will put a cloud over the wedding and I wouldn't want that. But once it's over I'll think about what to do. I was so excited about the day too and now I feel I'll be putting on a brave face for Mr F. It'll be fine but this has taken the shine off.

I had some good friends (well I thought they were) let me down badly at the beginning of the year and, at first, I was upset but now I've just demoted them to acquaintances and the time I used to spend with them is now better spent with those I know really love me and want the best for me.

One of those true friends gave me the best advice at the time. She said "Fortune, you need to accept that some people are just plain !!!!!!."

Fortune x

Fortune_Smiles

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS wrote: »

Hi Fortune, jellycopter ride sounds exciting

Sorry to read about lack of invites - b$gger them. Families are completely weird imo. You and Mr Fortune can carry on living your lives in the knowledge that you and he are surrounded by loving friends and other family.

Pour a glass of wine and enjoy the gorgeous weather. I'm just about to go out and it's 39° - don't know how Gallygirl copes

Best wishes Tilly xxx

Thank you Tilly. Jellycopter ride was exciting and terrifying all at the same time :eek:

Feeling much better about it all now. I've consoled myself knowing that I always try to do the right thing, whatever others might do. Makes for fewer regrets and a clear conscience.

A walk in the Kentish countryside and two glasses of wine have raised my spirits.

Fortune x

Fortune_Smiles

gallygirl wrote: »

Well it's more like 19 where I am and raining so I know which I prefer

I agree with the others FS - you've done what you feel is right and families are odd - don't let the b*ggers get you down xx

Thank you Gally. Still thinking I could have had a fabulous holiday with the wedding money... in fact, haven't handed over most of it yet. Always wanted to go to Cuba :rotfl:

Fortune x

beanielou

Cuba it is then