He has left me...

chrissie57

VestanPance wrote: »

Really sorry to hear your news.

From what you've posted so far I wouldn't be surprised if there is someone else involved. You've had a long relationship and he's ditching that out the blue with no real reason given, or discussion on how to save your relationship. It may be something as simple as him having a crush on someone else and now thinking he'd rather be single, but if I was a betting man I'd certainly be placing my money on something like that or worse.

I'm really, really sorry - but I agree with this post:(

skypie123_2

Op are you ok?

We are here for you.
I have been where you are now and I can absolutely promise you that you will be ok in the end.
Please make sure you're eating something, even if it's just a banana or something, you need to get strong
xxx

Kazzabell80

Thanks guys x

I have asked him if it was because of my illness, whether it is a mid life crisis, if there was someone else...he just says that he needs space and time.

He has told the children, packed a bag and gone. My heart was breaking for the kids, they have been sobbing their little hearts out and asking questions.

I am so hopeful that he will come back but I am not holding my breath.

And I am pretty sure that he isn't gay!

LoopyLu

Kazzabell - I am going through this right now too. My partner walked out without a word just over a week ago for another woman (I only found out about that by hacking his email)

If you want to pm me please do. It's bloody heartbreaking. Big hugs xx

69chick

Kazzabell and Loopylu, I too am going through the same thing, my husband left me last week for a girl he works with (10 years younger than me), we had been married for 16 years and have 3 young children, this did come up at Christmas when he admitted he had feelings for this girl, we decided to work it out and It seemed that all was going well although I was worried a lot as I knew he would be seeing her at work, he promised me it was over. we went on a family holiday recently which seemed to go great but apparantly the plan was in place before then and he had already gone back to her then. I am in bits, I am on medication to help but am just so sad, i love him so much and we have always been best friends, he just said he can't bury his feelings for her any more,. He is also not in a great way as he does love his kids and i think he still cares for me and hates seeing me so upset. i just hope that things will get better, I have also started a new career path in healthcare, he told me and left 3 days before I started in my new job training! He will still be around a lot as I am relying on him for childcare whilst I am doing shift work, but I just don't know how to stop crying. any more words of wisdom on this subject would be fantastic

marisco_2

Kazzabell80 wrote: »

We did try to talk this morning but he was very dry and matter of fact 'there is not point in looking at the why's, it isn't working, I care for you but I don't love you, don't think that I want to try to make it work and I (meaning him...I hope!) am an assh0le'.

He has that last bit right. If he cared for you he couldn't say what he has and give you no reason for this sudden desertion. You say that he has felt this way for a long time. In which case there must have been plenty of occassions when he could have talked through with you over any issues or upsets. He could have given you a chance to work with him at sorting it all out and putting things right.

Stop begging him to stay, for your own sake. That memory will stay with you and cause you alot of pain. You and your children deserve to be shown respect. Not thrown aside as if none of you matter. Reading between the lines of your posts I dont think he has been straight with you at all. I hope you wont discover that there is anyone else involved, but to be honest it wouldn't surprise me.

I am very sorry for all you are going through.

piglet74

im sorry, but i have to agree with the other posts,

although non of us know for sure, if i was a betting gal, i would put a few pound on there beng someone else involved.

does he have time for someone else, opportunity, etc?

have you ever suspected this may be the case?

it seems like no time (about 6 months) since you wrote on another thread about having a great man, i did read that thread, but didnt post, i didnt feel i could compete with some of the great men ye all had you seemed so happy then, your post was so positive

j.e.j.

sorry you're going through this, - what a shock it must have been for you.

I am reading between the lines a bit here, but it sounds like it could be a number of things, which one-by-one could have been dealt with, but instead have all built up over time.

You've not had quality time together for ages; you're both working and stressed; his (and your?) needs have not been met; he's possibly starting to feel resentful about being your carer (?) but feels too guilty to say so; could FaceBook be involved somewhere.. has he seen someone else, perhaps?

I'd say let the dust settle, give each other time and space, and hopefully it will work out for you both.

heretolearn_2

I don't really have any advice as I have not been in quite the same situation (my husband ran off with my best friend which hurt like hell because of the extra betrayal/humiliation but was at the same time partly a relief because he was a git) but didn't want to read and run.

You are stronger than you realise or can imagine at the moment. I promise that is true.

You and the kids will get through this. Right now life sucks, but it won't suck forever. There will be changes, but they won't all be bad ones in the long run. Just try and bear that in the back of your mind while you grieve over your relationship and be kind to yourself, it's normal to be upset and confused right now.

Kazzabell80

I had completely forgotten about that other post - have just re-read it and am a complete mess once again.

He works as a bouncer at the weekends and has been going out occassionally on a Sunday with some of the guys from work (none of which he has introduced me to). Although he did look me straight in the eye and say that there was no-one else.

I text him (I know I shouldn't have) asking if we can talk and he has just replied saying that we will at some point but he is in work at the moment. I don't want to get my hopes up too much but considering he didn't want to talk yesterday as he didn't see the point, this has to be step in the right direction???