Step brothers and sisters sharing a room

POPPYOSCAR

I_wanna_live_for_free wrote: »

No, I did not say that. The crux of the matter IS that the girl's mother dislikes the arrangements. And so an alternative must be found.

And as you say, YOU did your experimenting in broad daylight. Not tucked up in bed with a sibling!

Exactly.

As I said before it does not matter what anyone thinks, the mother is not happy and is saying she will not let her stay, so to try to go ahead anyway is going to cause all sorts of problems for them all.

Much better to come to an amicable solution.

PollyOnAMission

Although it depends on the child, it is certainly true that some eight year olds will be experimenting. Granted I was an early developer, but I was experimenting with boys (one good friend of mine) at eight and earlier. This was about twenty years ago. If asked about it, my mother would've had no idea! If the little girl's mother says she "knows what she is like", perhaps she suspects that she might also be an early experimenter. Some people seem very surprised at the suggestion; I just wanted to confirm that it can be the case with some children that young!

POPPYOSCAR

esmerelda98 wrote: »

I remember that thread, which is fairly recent, but didn't connect it to this OP. If it was my daughter I would have said no anyway, for a variety of reasons. Recollecting that thread however, the answer would definitely be no. They are hardly step-brother and step-sister, are they?

I am not in the habit of going over old posts but this did make me look back a bit.

From what I can see they have only been together for a few weeks so with this in mind I think it is even more important to take the views of the ex on board. To start a fight now could cause complications that could last well into the future.

jellyhead

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I am not in the habit of going over old posts but this did make me look back a bit.

From what I can see they have only been together for a few weeks so with this in mind I think it is even more important to take the views of the ex on board. To start a fight now could cause complications that could last well into the future.

Yes, it's important for the ex to be listened to, but as for whether the children are step-siblings or not - yes they are, if their parents are together and living in the same house.

POPPYOSCAR

jellyhead wrote: »

Yes, it's important for the ex to be listened to, but as for whether the children are step-siblings or not - yes they are, if their parents are together and living in the same house.

Yes I agree with you.

But I would think that technically they are not officially classed as such if they are not married.

Hootie19

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

Hi
I was wondering peoples views on an almost 8 year old girl sharing a room 1 night 1 week and 3 nights every alternate week with my 2 boys who are 3 and 8.
My OH and I consulted all children before we moved in together and his daughter was very excited when we told her we had bought bunk beds, I even bought her a nice new girlie duvet set so she feels like she has her own little bits here.
Anway, now her mother is telling my OH that she is not comfortable with the sleeping arrangements and that she is going to refuse to allow OH's daughter to stay overnight until 'proper sleeping arrangements' are sorted.
We live in a 2 bed housing association flat and whilst we understand it's not the most ideal situation long term, at the moment we can't afford to rent a bigger property, I start a new job hopefully next month so we are going to be in a better position to save for a deposit etc on a private rental, it doesn't help that we live in an expensive area

Just after some advise really on where my OH stands? Hiss parents live round the corner and they can both stay there when he has her, I just think it's unfair on everyone especially seing as his daughter loves stayin here.

How did the arrangements work before? Presumably she has stayed overnight before? How long have you been living in your flat?

I am astonished at the way some people seem to be assuming that two eight year old children are going to turn into rampant sex addicts because they share a room - with another child in the same room and two adults just a wall's width away!

I've had mixed sex sleepovers with teenagers, secure in the knowledge that they tend NOT to be exhibitionists or swingers and not wanting to partake in any hanky panky with other people watching them!

POPPYOSCAR

Hootie19 wrote: »

How did the arrangements work before? Presumably she has stayed overnight before? How long have you been living in your flat?

I am astonished at the way some people seem to be assuming that two eight year old children are going to turn into rampant sex addicts because they share a room - with another child in the same room and two adults just a wall's width away!

I've had mixed sex sleepovers with teenagers, secure in the knowledge that they tend NOT to be exhibitionists or swingers and not wanting to partake in any hanky panky with other people watching them!

Perhaps not?

It is my understanding that they have not been living together very long.

Poppy9

My reason for not wanting my DD to share a room with "step brothers" would be for her to have some privacy as a girl. It's very common for girls to get their periods at 9 and they often become self conscious about their bodies at this age.

I grew up with two older sisters who thought nothing of walking around semi naked and my brother in his pants! Whereas I like my parents was always fully dressed! I also never liked anyone to know when I had my period:o I used to get teased for being so shy about my body but I could take it as they were my family but it might not be the same for step families.

Dontknowanymore

Thanks for all of your replies.
As it stands I think we are going to arrange a meet up with OH's daughters Mum, his mum spoke to her and sung my praises which I thought was lovely and even told her I offered to give up our room for when she stays as I don't want her to feel left out.
Or my son could sleep in our room so then at least she gets to sleep on the top bunk when she is here! Hopefully mum wont feel it is as bad, having her share with a 3 year old boy?
No I did not move to the smaller roperty in the end as I met my OH and stayed here, well re-met as we went to school together.

I have no desire to make hings difficult so we are just going to see what Mum says and go from there, she is her main carer so as far as I am concerned she is well within her rights to object.
Thanks again,

lazer

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

Thanks for all of your replies.
As it stands I think we are going to arrange a meet up with OH's daughters Mum, his mum spoke to her and sung my praises which I thought was lovely and even told her I offered to give up our room for when she stays as I don't want her to feel left out.
Or my son could sleep in our room so then at least she gets to sleep on the top bunk when she is here! Hopefully mum wont feel it is as bad, having her share with a 3 year old boy?
No I did not move to the smaller roperty in the end as I met my OH and stayed here, well re-met as we went to school together.

I have no desire to make hings difficult so we are just going to see what Mum says and go from there, she is her main carer so as far as I am concerned she is well within her rights to object.
Thanks again,

I think if mum has any issues with daughter sharing with a 3 year old boy - then she is just being twisted IMO.

The mum may be the main carer, but the dad is also the parent, and IMO is the person responsible for deciding where she sleeps when staying with him.

As long as the child is happy I don't think the mum has any right to stop overnight access, however it is best to sort out things amicably for all concerned.