make do and mend for tougher times

grandma247

craigywv wrote: »

i agree with you 100 % and believe them knowing is a very important thing its just how much can i say without having my son a jibbering wreck when he goes out so have limited what i tell him about certain subjects im not sheilding him from life just being a bit more delicate around certain subjects until i know he understands what i am talking about learns in school certain things etc xxx

I don't know how old your boy is sorry.
Start early and simply. If you are talking about the S word start with animal reproduction. and then go on to explain that grown up humans also reproduce the same way. Don't be afraid to use proper body words. You would not use a different word when you mean his ears or eyes would you?

Even if you have a family word for certain body bits make sure he knows that there is a proper name too that way he will understand when someone says something off colour to him and he can tell you.


He will likely already know that sometimes people do bad things, even seemingly good people, and you can explain that sometimes they tell children to keep bad things a secret. Mummy would like to know if anyone tries to make him keep a bad secret so she can get help.

You can do this without scaring them. It is all about how you approach it.

savingqueen

Wanted to comment on so many posts I can relate to but too tired now so will say goodnight instead. Tomorrow is another day.

and also wanted to test out my new siggy

night night everyone
sq:)

2tonsils

Been feeling rough with this cough and cold all day so been taking it easy , I have just caught up with all your posts on here.

When my mum was cremated someone said she had once told them she wanted her ashes scattered where she used to go courting with my dad in the pit woods. So my brothers went and did just that. My dad died three months later and they did the same so they could be together. I thought it was lovely.

SpikyHedgehog

grandma247 wrote: »

Vjsmum I sometimes had to walk to work in the dark and I found it best to walk as though on a mission, briskly with my head up so I could see and hear what was going on around me. I would also advise not chatting on mobiles while walking as they will distract you and you may miss something.

I realised that in teaching my children to be obedient to adults I had to make sure they understood that it was ok to be disobedient if someone was doing something wrong or hurting them. I told them they could kick, bite, scratch, scream or anything else they wanted to try and get away.

I never used the word stranger because I knew that it is more often people you know that the danger comes.

grandma247 wrote: »

I know this view will probably be unpopular but "innocence" will get a child hurt or killed. Children do not live in fairy land. We need to arm even little children with some tools to keep them safe. It is much better to be frank with them to keep them safe.

I have deleted a lot of my post because this is a distressing subject.

Grandma, it is distressing. But better that we get upset by talking about it and thinking about it & discussing it with our children... than we deal with the aftermath.

I know someone who was abused, it's had a lasting effect on their life, and the life of the family of the person who was abused, and the life of the family of the abuser.

I tell the children at preschool 'If someone does something you don't like, say 'Stop! I don't like that!' ' At preschool, we're talking about another child taking their toy, but the empowerment is the important part, and the knowing that they don't have to accept things.

MrsCD wrote: »

Sorry, it's too late to read all today's posts, but I thought I would share this with everyone.

http://www.suzylamplugh.org/personal-safety/information-for-children-and-young-people/

The quizzes are very good and aimed at different ages.

Good to see you back PAH

Thank you for the link, MrsCD, have shared it with DS1 and will share with DS2.

mcculloch29

Taken me 90 minutes to catch up with 2 days!

Before I forget, I saw Docky and said out loud 'Oh, you're beautiful!' I do love dogs, but even so, he is a cracker.

I'm not going to comment too much on stranger danger as its all been said. I was a registered childminder for many years and spent countless hours in the park opposite the house watching the minded kids play. When I was at Catterick we'd go on nature rambles or walk to a play park. My ex used to rant at me for not doing more housework during the day - I wanted the children to have as much safe adventure and exercise as possible. It kept me fit! Their parents didn't pay me to do housework...

Good news to share as posted elsewhere on MSE, I had my teaching observation on Wed PM - feedback via phone. It's done to OFSTED standards, and I got a 1, Outstanding.
Chuffed? You bet!!!! I've got a 1 in another job, before now, but usually it was a 2, Good - and once a 3. Satisfactory...
When there is a lot of uncertainty around it was good to get this affirmation.

Planning to make some Laundry Gloop this week. With being given a large amount of laundry liquid to trial, I haven't bought any washing products for months. I still have some liquid left - son won't use Gloop so he can use the liquid.

I was never too worried about being out late at night when I could walk fast, I was always careful to steer clear of shadows.
Now I can't walk any distance but I have no real worries about riding my trike in the dark, I have good lights and hi-vis clothing.
My son rang the police a couple of years ago when I took 3 hours to get back from college at night.
I guess it was payback for the time he went missing for 2 hours aged 8. He was 'helping' at some local allotments and claimed he hadn't heard me shouting ...

Popperwell

Thats wonderful news...well done. You must be really chuffed(if that's the word to use):)

Its funny I have to admit rightly or wrongly I haven't felt too scared being out at such a late hour. I will be doing it again this coming Saturday off to Durham once more...and I know I'll be getting the last bus and so i won't get home much before midnight.

Then two more times this year(Darlington/Durham)and then nothing until January but it will still be dark then.

meme30

Popperwell:- When my Step-Dad died, Mam contacted St James Park. We were allowed to scatter his ashes behind the Gallowgate end goal mouth. Lots of people do this apparently.
They always listened to the match on the radio and now Mam imagines him helping out the goalie as she she listens. There are strong words spoken when he lets one in!:rotfl:

Possession

Well done Mcculloch!
Still no news on April. : (
It's DS's harvest assembly today but we're not to take food, as our local salvation army has closed. We can make a donation to CAFOD instead (it's a catholic school) but that isn't the same at all. Also no doubt more expensive than a tin of beans! There's no food bank here either (yet) so I guess there was no way of administrating it. If it's the same with all the schools here though, that's an awful lot of tins which could have gone to the needy this week.

mardatha

I'm more old fashioned than most I suppose - but I told my kids from early on that there were "bad people" who try to take them and kill them, that's all I said. The abuse thing wasn't so public then but it never applied as mine stayed firmly with us at home.

Pooky

Morning all

Very wet and wild here, thought the roof was going to come off at several stages during the night....it's going to be a long day!

DD1 got home safely, she asked one of the lads she was working with if he'd wait at the bus stop with her (she' said she picked a good looking one to distract her from the cold - that's my girl!)

FIL is taking DH to France this morning, they're off to the booze supermarket for the Christmas tipples. DH is mainly going along for the ride, gives me a mornings break and gives him someone else to talk to. I'm sure he'll end up buying a nice bottle of something too.

Had 4 power cuts yesterday, all short and sweet and during daylight hours, we tend to get a lot of them here but still a pain when you're in the middle of cooking lunch!