teenage daughter to get no money plz help

pink_princess

kerrypn wrote: »

I dont think OPs daughter fits into any of these groups actually. Being 16 jobless and pregnant does not a sick, disabled, unfortunate or poor person make.

I have no problem with people claiming benefits who have been made redundant or are unemployed-as long as there is an obvious willingness to work-what sticks in the throat are people who have no intention or inclination to work and hold their hands out to be kept by the state.

What if at 16 she has no care of anyone or benefits? She is young, no doubt niave ( Sorry op, but probably true).
Are you writing her off at that age as useless, someone who will never be a net contributor?
We need to mentor and support these girls, show them that they can go on to achieve for both them and their child.

pink_princess

samwich1979 wrote: »

Young people should make their own opportunities not wait for someone to make some for them!

Maybe the government are not doing enough to help the job situation at the moment but i believe if you really want to do something with your life you can go out and make sure you do it by any means possible.

I feel it is laziness and the expectation that things should be handed on a plate that makes people turn out the way the OP obviously has and her daughter is going to.

What if the 16 year old child does not believe she can make anything of herself?
We put so much emphasis on degrees these days that the non educational type feel useless, worthless.
What is wrong with having other skills, manual, cookery, etc.
We don't all fit one mould.

kerrypn

pink_princess wrote: »

What if at 16 she has no care of anyone or benefits? She is young, no doubt niave ( Sorry op, but probably true).
Are you writing her off at that age as useless, someone who will never be a net contributor?
We need to mentor and support these girls, show them that they can go on to achieve for both them and their child.

Hi Unfortunately some of my previous comments have disappeared into the ether-and probably would have made that seem less harsh because I was replying to a specific poster.(not the op)

I agree wholeheartedly with supporting and mentoring and not encouraging them into the benefits system.

I am certainly not writing her off-and I truly hope she will make good choices from here on in and go on to have a long happy and productive life.

pink_princess

kerrypn wrote: »

Hi Unfortunately some of my previous comments have disappeared into the ether-and probably would have made that seem less harsh because I was replying to a specific poster.(not the op)

I agree wholeheartedly with supporting and mentoring and not encouraging them into the benefits system.

I am certainly not writing her off-and I truly hope she will make good choices from here on in and go on to have a long happy and productive life.

MSE towers and their deletes make things ambiguous some times

This is a subject that ropes me in so to speak. I had two daughters by the age of 19, I then was given to a foster/mentor family.
They changed our lives, from the age of 20 I have worked, by age 24 a net contributor. Never unemployed since and my eldest is now sitting 4 A levels.

OP, Please PM me if you would like me to speak to your daughter. She can become anything you make her believe she can be xx :T

bazza5070

You really need to read what has been written, please dont cherry pick!! Most people claiming Disability do so because they have to, my daughter has severe learning dificulties and physical disabilities also. If she had a choice it would be to be 'normal' and have the ability to work.

Getting pregant is not a disability it is a choice, please do not put them in the same category.....

Despite my own personal views I treat everyone that I deal with in a professional and empathetic way, I do not judge them and I give them the best advice possible, I may not always agree with that advice but that is my job and I do it everyday to the best of my ability..

mazza111

That's fairy nuff Bazza. And I do agree with you there.

But surely the question has to be asked of what we can do for these girls. Encourage them to better themselves or encourage them into a life of benefits.

Pink Princess :T:T:T Well done you, and even better that you are willing to speak to kids like these.


I actually don't think the OP will be back given the way this thread has gone. Whereas if advice like that was around from the beginning instead of the criticism, she may have found a way to continue with her education or training course etc.

I feel really sorry for school leavers today. There isn't much open to them. My son has left school as I said, not very academic, but good with his hands. For some reason, wants to become a plumber/heating engineer. But do you think he can get a start? He's written to loads of companies and only 2 have had the decency to reply. One was a refusal, one was we'll send you an application that never arrived. We're still waiting, and emailing them back and forward. And he's not pregnant

pink_princess

bazza5070 wrote: »

Nobody is saying they are better than anybody else, but you or your daughter should not expect the rest of us to pick up the pieces, she needs to take responsibility for her actions.

I work in the benefits system and am sick of having to deal with these 'lone parents' who have no partner but miraculously keep getting pregnant and then seem to think it is everybody elses duty to provide for them.

It is not 'our' responsibility, if she is an adult it is her responsibility and if she is a child it is your responsibility as her parent. You just need to make your mind up which one it is!!!!

I am not cherry picking, this is what you posted.

Becoming pregnant at that age is only a choice if you have been educated to know that.

"lone parents" What do you mean by that?

Do not try to educate me on disabilities, I do what others did for me and foster children with all types of non ability.

bazza5070

Just trying to make the point that education doesnt just come from the system it comes from your parents as well, responsibility has to be taken by all of us.

When I said 'lone parents' I am talking about the large percentage that are not 'lone' as they are having babies with the same partner over a number of years, they just choose not to live together.

This is obvious and blatant working of the system, by anyones standards this cannot possibly be right.

pink_princess

bazza5070 wrote: »

Just trying to make the point that education doesnt just come from the system it comes from your parents as well, responsibility has to be taken by all of us.

When I said 'lone parents' I am talking about the large percentage that are not 'lone' as they are having babies with the same partner over a number of years, they just choose not to live together.

This is obvious and blatant working of the system, by anyones standards this cannot possibly be right.

Do you have any proof of this? The so called large percentage?

I also never said that education came from the state, I said the opposite, that mentors and strong role models change attitudes.

Morlock

pink_princess wrote: »

Do you have any proof of this? The so called large percentage?

Of course he doesn't, he is making assumptions based on his own prejudice. Like most of the other sanctimonious, anti-benefit warriors on this forum.