teenage daughter to get no money plz help

paulwellerfan

has OP come back to give us any more info?

zaksmum

Sadly though a lot of young people just can't be bothered. They waste time at school even if they can bother to turn up, leave without any qualifications, have not the slightest intention of looking for work and are more than happy to settle for a life on benefits with as many kids as they want.

If a kid studies hard at school, gets some worthwhile qualifications and goes flat out applying for jobs, I still think there's every chance they'll find something.

My son and daughter and all their friends did just this, and now all of them without exception have careers paying a decent wage. Other kids round here born in the same year, went to the same school, had the same opportunities but went down the truanting/drugs/shoplifting/baby at 15 route...then complain there are no jobs and nobody will give them even more free money than they already get.

aliasojo

zaksmum wrote: »

Sadly though a lot of young people just can't be bothered.

Yes, I do think that's the case some of the time sadly.

vax2002

I would not take the weekender replies too seriously, many are spiteful people with jobs they hate where they are talked down to by graduates young enough to be their children .
This board and benefit bashing offer them some retribution on the daily routine of getting talked to like a dog at work.

I would take your Daughter to the Citizens advice and ask them to write down everything she is entitled to, armed with this move on to the benefits office and start filing complaint forms and writing to MP's.
Appeal every decision they send, many claims are automatically stamped failed and only passed on appeal.

Pollycat

vax2002 wrote: »

Appeal every decision they send, many claims are automatically stamped failed and only passed on appeal.

Do you have evidence that this is true?

Is it across certain benefits or all?

I just wondered because we applied for AA for Mum back in Feb and completed the form quite comprehensively.

DWP refused the claim.

We got a copy of the GP's report (that DWP had asked for) and went to CAB.
She was very helpful and said she was surprised (given the level of detail and Mum's documented care needs) that it had been rejected, although she did say that DWP are getting tougher.
She did give me a couple of good phrases to use.

We did a 5 page appeal, refuted every point they had rejected the claim on and, in most cases, pointed out where we'd already covered it in the original claim.

Mum now gets AA.

I did wonder at the time if they rejected claims initially and only looked more closely if people appealed.
But then I decided I was just being paranoid - but your comment has made me think.

POPPYOSCAR

aliasojo wrote: »

Oh no, he most definitely did strike lucky. He got the Apprenticeship because of someone we knew. It's the way it is mostly.

Don't get me wrong, he's always been keen to work, he had various jobs whilst still at school (paperboy, cafe work, kitchen work in a hotel etc), but it was a case of who you know not what you know with regard to the apprenticeship. There were other equally suitable lads desperate to get a start too but they dipped out unfortunately. I was glad for my son but it shouldn't be like that. More should be done to create new apprenticeships so more young people can learn a trade and invest in their own future as well as society's.

Agree with your last comment and I would never give my daughter that impression. My comments about the lack of opportunity were really in response to points raised by another poster who I thought was comparing situations unfairly, that's all.

As far as my own are concerned, it's a foregone conclusion that they will either be in education or gainfully employed. My daughter struggles academically and school is a stressful place for her so I suspect further education may not be on the cards but I have no doubt there will be a place for her somewhere.

Yes I agree.

Our son got his job through our contacts and many of his friends have got jobs the same way, but not in their chosen field, and not the types of jobs they would normally get with the qualifications they have.

I still instill in my daughter the need to do well at school and get qualifications though.

cherylim

zaksmum wrote: »

Sadly though a lot of young people just can't be bothered. They waste time at school even if they can bother to turn up, leave without any qualifications, have not the slightest intention of looking for work and are more than happy to settle for a life on benefits with as many kids as they want.

If a kid studies hard at school, gets some worthwhile qualifications and goes flat out applying for jobs, I still think there's every chance they'll find something.

My son and daughter and all their friends did just this, and now all of them without exception have careers paying a decent wage. Other kids round here born in the same year, went to the same school, had the same opportunities but went down the truanting/drugs/shoplifting/baby at 15 route...then complain there are no jobs and nobody will give them even more free money than they already get.

I have to agree with this. My siblings and I weren't raised in a good environment, but thankfully it's up to each person how they make their own way. I hope the OP's daughter can realise this, and be what she wants to be.

I wasn't a 'school' person, though I was naturally academic. I attended state school at a young age, got a scholarship to a private school and at that point became disillusioned with the school system. I ended up going to a state school to finish my compulsory education, but whilst I continued to do well I hated the environment. For me, however, staying in education was the right path. I moved on to sixth form, did something I actually enjoyed at university, and now run my own business and am doing far better financially than the generation before me. Whilst my own mother had me at a very young age, I'm planning to start my own family in two or three years a decade older than she was.

My brother isn't academic. He never has been, and he too hated school. He did go into college, but hated it and dropped out. Rather than letting his minimal qualifications deter him, he know works two jobs with very long hours. They're minimum wage, low-skilled jobs, but thanks to the hours he puts in he's doing well financially. As his friends are at college and university getting into debt, he's got a good bank balance and is doing what's right for him.

I'm not even sure the OP will come back and read all the responses in this thread, but I hope having a baby will make her daughter realise that not only is she responsible, but free to choose her own path. I don't buy into this argument that there are no jobs - only a lack of belief. Ambition doesn't have to mean she needs to go back to formal education, but the jobs are there to raise her child properly.

POPPYOSCAR

margaretclare wrote: »

No one suggests any such thing, and I am living proof that this is possible.

The tone of the OP's post does suggest that this baby, or at least the pregnancy, is neither planned nor wanted. Otherwise why is the OP bewailing the fact that her daughter can get no benefits?

I have already said that I am the last person to wish for a return to the punitive attitudes that were common in my childhood. However, I agree with those like kerrypn, who think that the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction. I remember reading some research a few years ago now which said that for a girl to get pregnant at such a young age '90% of her life's pattern is already set'. Most of us who have children or grandchildren in their mid-teens would actually hope that there are plenty of opportunities still out there and that their life's pattern is not yet set. There are far more chances than there were when I was 16 and I am glad of that.

Yes I hope and I wish.

Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is and with the extension of the retirement age, I fear that these opportunities will become less and less.

Not enough is being done IMO for the younger people entering the job market.

kerrypn

vax2002 wrote: »

Actually you were the first.

People should stop sucking the bile left out for them and get off the backs of the poor, sick, disabled, unfortunate and turn their attentions to those at the other end who are hovering up all your "tax money" and stuffing it in to their over bloated bank accounts.
Most are only a months salary away from joining those they spit down upon.
WAKE UP !

I dont think OPs daughter fits into any of these groups actually. Being 16 jobless and pregnant does not a sick, disabled, unfortunate or poor person make.

I have no problem with people claiming benefits who have been made redundant or are unemployed-as long as there is an obvious willingness to work-what sticks in the throat are people who have no intention or inclination to work and hold their hands out to be kept by the state.

Spamfree_2

kerrypn wrote: »

I dont think OPs daughter fits into any of these groups actually. Being 16 jobless and pregnant does not a sick, disabled, unfortunate or poor person make.

I have no problem with people claiming benefits who have been made redundant or are unemployed-as long as there is an obvious willingness to work-what sticks in the throat are people who have no intention or inclination to work and hold their hands out to be kept by the state.

I think you have hit the nail right on the head with that!