teenage daughter to get no money plz help

Dunroamin

aliasojo wrote: »

Apologies but I simply cannot agree with such a sweeping statement.

My middle one struggled badly as there were no places to be had in the college, good training schemes were few and far between and even the Careers Guidance officer said she 'despaired' sometimes. (She was a friend before you all think she was being unprofessional in any way by making such a comment.)

My lad ended up in a call centre after leaving school ONLY because there was nothing else for him to do. Granted, he was lucky he was earning at all.

Thankfully he got an Apprenticeship and is now at 23, a higher rate taxpayer who earns more than I've ever had.

He was extremely fortunate that he was given a chance, many of his peers are aimless now. Lack of opportunity since leaving school has affected their moral.

I have no doubt there is good provision in certain areas, but not all.

I think that you live in the Scottish Highlands (apologies if I'm wrong) which I can imagine might be difficult but I used to work on the IOW where there's really only IOW College that's a possibility for school leavers so I do understand the difficulties.

However, I cannot possibly see how it can be the case that "there were no places to be had in the college" unless he applied after all the places were filled or he had a very limited range of choice. Colleges will bend over backwards to get a student on some kind of course, after all, that's how they make their money.

Anyway, I'm glad it worked out for him eventually. I do know that apprenticeships can be difficult - when I was working there was only one plumbing apprenticeship in the whole county!

CKhalvashi

tinkerbellkirst wrote: »

As the other posters have said there are no benefit entitlements for her at this time. She really does need to utilise the services available to her while shes young enough to get help with them though. If she can access free childcare to go back to college she should do so, to set her up to bring up her child.

I had my daughter at 16, i had however finished school and was in my 1st year at college. I stayed on, had her in the June, i broke up for summer early and completed all assignments early. I then went back with everyone else in September, my daughter was 10 weeks old. My tutor sorted my hours so i could still pass the course doing 3 days a week instead of 5, i could pass without doing 2 modules, however i got the notes off a friend and completed them anyway. I use care to learn to pay for my childcare and was able to claim benefits whilst i was studying.

I now have a good job, own my own house with my partner and our 2 children, i am only 22.

Theres alot to be said for determination.

I was 18 when I had my first, 20 when I had my second, and in Russia, 2000 miles away from parents and no benefits system.

Needless to say, whilst I was at uni, I was working full-time, completing essays at 4am and doing everything I could to support my children/studies/OH.

The determination was there, exactly the same as the determination to get where I am now.

Well done on you! :T

bestpud

aliasojo wrote: »

Apologies but I simply cannot agree with such a sweeping statement.

My middle one struggled badly as there were no places to be had in the college, good training schemes were few and far between and even the Careers Guidance officer said she 'despaired' sometimes. (She was a friend before you all think she was being unprofessional in any way by making such a comment.)

My lad ended up in a call centre after leaving school ONLY because there was nothing else for him to do. Granted, he was lucky he was earning at all.

Thankfully he got an Apprenticeship and is now at 23, a higher rate taxpayer who earns more than I've ever had.

He was extremely fortunate that he was given a chance, many of his peers are aimless now. Lack of opportunity since leaving school has affected their moral.

I have no doubt there is good provision in certain areas, but not all.

Did your son simply strike lucky though?

I would say he showed willing by getting a job and thus looked a more viable candidate than someone who had just sat on their butt since leaving school...?

We shouldn't be too keen to tell youths the recession means they have no say in their future - fact is they can do a lot to help themselves!

mazza111

A lot of judgmental comments on board. She's not the first to be caught out and won't be the last.

There are places like rathbone and Springboard in Scotland for school leavers who don't want to go to college or stay in FT education. These training courses are also counted as FT education for tax credit purposes and CB purposes. I would advise something like this short time until after she's had the baby, then take it from there.

Spendless

Wouldn't the reason for the 16yo leaving school in December be because they live in Scotland and have different finish dates than they do in England and Wales?

A friend at Junior school moved back to her native Scotland and we kept in touch. Even though we were the same academic year and our birthdays only a few weeks different, I seem to recall that she finished school some months before I did and was working several months before I'd sat my exams in the summer time.

Valli

Spamfree wrote: »

Hopefully the seizures she was suffering from have been controlled by medication because if the school thought she'd be a danger at school in cookery, she might have problems looking after a vunlenarable baby.

Chances are the school were being very very cautious, actually. Risk of being sued and all;)

CKhalvashi

mazza111 wrote: »

A lot of judgmental comments on board. She's not the first to be caught out and won't be the last.

And as also stated, above, OH had her first at 17, however we worked our way through Uni, have built up our own company over time and have never been on benefits, because in the environment that I grew up in, they weren't available.

She won't be the first too be caught out by this by any means, but there are alternatives to benefit.

CK

esuhl

magzy1827 wrote: »

how do they expect me to manage if they give me no money to keep her ??

You're not expected to keep her... If she's starting a family of her own then she should be supported by the father of her child or should be able to support herself. It's not really fair of her to bring a child into this world if she can't support it.

Pollycat

Teahfc wrote: »

Wow some vicious replies to a poster who is seeking some advice only.
Had she been a banker or a tax avoiding comedian or a high street retail boss avoiding paying hudreds of millions in corporation tax I am sure they would deserve the abuse but please people be a bit humane the OP seems to have enopugh on her plate at moment without all the !!!! thrown from here !

Not the first lass to be pregnant at 16 !

mazza111 wrote: »

A lot of judgmental comments on board. She's not the first to be caught out and won't be the last.

There are places like rathbone and Springboard in Scotland for school leavers who don't want to go to college or stay in FT education. These training courses are also counted as FT education for tax credit purposes and CB purposes. I would advise something like this short time until after she's had the baby, then take it from there.

To be fair to some of the posters, I think they have taken exception to this part of the OP's post:

magzy1827 wrote: »

how do they expect me to manage if they give me no money to keep her ??

aliasojo

bestpud wrote: »

Did your son simply strike lucky though?

I would say he showed willing by getting a job and thus looked a more viable candidate than someone who had just sat on their butt since leaving school...?

We shouldn't be too keen to tell youths the recession means they have no say in their future - fact is they can do a lot to help themselves!

Oh no, he most definitely did strike lucky. He got the Apprenticeship because of someone we knew. It's the way it is mostly.

Don't get me wrong, he's always been keen to work, he had various jobs whilst still at school (paperboy, cafe work, kitchen work in a hotel etc), but it was a case of who you know not what you know with regard to the apprenticeship. There were other equally suitable lads desperate to get a start too but they dipped out unfortunately. I was glad for my son but it shouldn't be like that. More should be done to create new apprenticeships so more young people can learn a trade and invest in their own future as well as society's.

Agree with your last comment and I would never give my daughter that impression. My comments about the lack of opportunity were really in response to points raised by another poster who I thought was comparing situations unfairly, that's all.

As far as my own are concerned, it's a foregone conclusion that they will either be in education or gainfully employed. My daughter struggles academically and school is a stressful place for her so I suspect further education may not be on the cards but I have no doubt there will be a place for her somewhere.