Is the naughty step enough? What did your parents do?

Tea-and-Cake_3

I have 2 children under 5 and I'm concerned that the naughty step technique and reward chart for good behaviour is just not enough to train children how to behave. Day in day out I use these techniques for the same behaviour and they don't stop.

My parents didn't use these techniques, they claim I was a pretty good child, I don't remember getting smacked (I do remember being threatened with it) and I'm sure I must have been on occasion. I wouldn't have dared do some of the things my children try such as being cheeky/backchat/not doing as I was told and just a look from my dad could stop me in my tracks.

I'm worried that these wishy washy techniques are going to have some bad end results.

System

Dad used to threaten to tell my Mom. Mom was a force to be reconned with. Cant remember her actually smacking me but i she had always got a sharp tongue and no doubt i would have got one if i had misbehaved.

thatgirlsam

My Mum didn't use the naughty step, she just made it clear that some behaviour was not acceptable. I don't know how it worked but it did. I wasn't scared of her but I think some fear of what might happen was involved

I didn't use the naughty step for my children but I did give punishments for naughty stuff, silly things like not allowing them milk and biscuit in the evening, I don't know why but my kids hated this. They were really upset if they couldn't have it?

I know that modern parenting says you should only focus on the postitive but that doesn't work for me. I do a mixture of both.

It's not easy though, my 7 year old son tried to flush a sock down the toilet at school today (why??) and he MUST have known this was not acceptable behaviour, but he still did it. Embarressing.

j.e.j.

I think if there's 2 (or more) children it's far more difficult to maintain discipline than with just one child, as they egg each other on, and as soon as you've dealt with one child, the other one starts up, etc.

geri1965_2

I got smacked on the bottom or across the top of the legs by my mum.

Tea-and-Cake_3

geri1965 wrote: »

I got smacked on the bottom or across the top of the legs by my mum.

For what sort of thing and do you think that was right?

balletshoes

Tea-and-Cake wrote: »

I have 2 children under 5 and I'm concerned that the naughty step technique and reward chart for good behaviour is just not enough to train children how to behave. Day in day out I use these techniques for the same behaviour and they don't stop.

My parents didn't use these techniques, they claim I was a pretty good child, I don't remember getting smacked (I do remember being threatened with it) and I'm sure I must have been on occasion. I wouldn't have dared do some of the things my children try such as being cheeky/backchat/not doing as I was told and just a look from my dad could stop me in my tracks.

I'm worried that these wishy washy techniques are going to have some bad end results.

I didn't use the naughty step, but I did use seclusion with my DD when she was pre-school (ie in her room, door closed, told to stay there until she had calmed down/stopped being cheeky etc and could say sorry and mean it).

Its just like the naughty step though, you have to be consistent, and your children have to know the consequences of their naughty behaviour, and whats acceptable behaviour around other people.

My mum did smack us when we were growing up, she's never hit any of her grandchildren though, and a stern "No" from Granny is enough to stop any nonsense!

cheek and backchat (and selective hearing) come with the territory to some degree with all kids, down through the ages. I always do, and always have, pulled my daughter up sharp when she's being cheeky and determined to get the last word in. Kids test the boundaries, thats their job. Your job is to give them the boundaries .

Twinkleestar

I think it depends on the child really, I have two boys with a small age gap between them and the fighting/bickering used to drive me mental, I found that the naughty step worked for the younger one but looking back I think it was the 'time out' aspect of it that probably worked, the elder boy was more into rewards, a star chart and if 5 stars at end of the week he could have a toy/treat. My own childhood was different, I do remember being frightened and I am glad that my boys wont look back and remember feeling that way.

sweetme

She would take her slipper off, boy was I fast at running up the stairs

meritaten

She had a range of punishments - I either had a slap across the face or a slap to back of the legs, or to my bum. or she would threaten to tell my dad (which didnt bother me as he never raised his hand - just used to leave that to mum). If I had been slapped I usually had the 'bed with no supper' punishment as well. all for the most trivial things as I was a 'good kid' - she tells everyone what an angel I was - it was the way SHE was brought up tho I didnt know that then.

I am not going to say it never did me any harm - It hurt! and is not the way I dealt with my own kids. except on one or two occasions when I was pushed beyond endurance to be honest - and it was ME who cried after! Its also affected my relationship with her - as she never hit my bro or sis I resented the hell out of her and as a teen I was the daughter from hell!

mazza111

For mine, I had an angel and a devil. First one was the angel. Didn't need any discipline, then I had ds.... I had to send him to his room or I would have gladly killed him. Even though he had toys in his room it was enough to make me stop and think. Then the teenage hormones kicked in and they changed roles, dunno how I got through those, but I did.

Do what you think is best at the time, as long as it's consistent