Self Respect vs Responsibility

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

Pssst, I think it was a joke!

I am not sure, some people do think that those who decide not to have kids are wiser, even if they have them themselves. I know a couple of people who might say that if they had to go back in time they may not have had children. It was the use of the word cleverer that intrigued me. it may be right for you but is it cleverer?

Have you definitely decided not to have any at all? Genuine question, as so many just drift into parenthood as the next thing to do.

ETA, you were right!!

Kiboko

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, I have no idea what your beef is. If I'm upsetting you in some way, please, feel free to put me on ignore. You can do it by clicking on my user name, just to the left.

and you could do exactly the same. I dislike the fact that you have an issue with my wanting to raise my daughters to respect themselves,to be ready for the outside world, i dislike the fact that you expect me to change my view of the world to yours because you say so - i don't think your view is irrelevant so much as you think mine is, I have children it colours my view you will not accept that and think that your theories are more relevant than my experiences. That I have an issue with.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I am not sure, some people do think that those who decide not to have kids are wiser, even if they have them themselves. I know a couple of people who might say that if they had to go back in time they may not have had children. It was the use of the word cleverer that intrigued me. it may be right for you but is it cleverer?

Have you definitely decided not to have any at all? Genuine question, as so many just drift into parenthood as the next thing to do.

ETA, you were right!!

I've pretty much decided not to, but I've probably got about 10-15 fertile years left so I'm not going to be too categorical.

Its just not for me, the broodiness has never kicked in. I have nieces and nephews I adore more than words, and I'm happy for them to remain the most important children in my life!

I agree with you that a lot of people drift into it, and a lot of people seem to think its compulsory! Some of my friends without them are talking about fitting in as much travel and other nice stuff as they can before they start having children, as though its a prison sentence!

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

I am not sure, some people do think that those who decide not to have kids are wiser, even if they have them themselves. I know a couple of people who might say that if they had to go back in time they may not have had children. It was the use of the word cleverer that intrigued me. it may be right for you but is it cleverer?

Have you definitely decided not to have any at all? Genuine question, as so many just drift into parenthood as the next thing to do.

ETA, you were right!!

Without wishing to speak for Person_One I seem to remember another thread where she did say she did not intend to have children.

And yes I do know of people that if they could turn the clock back would not have had children, even though they love their children dearly.

Being a parent is hard work, a huge responsibility, worrying, time consuming and can be expensive, so some might say the sensible thing would be to not have any!!

(But it was still a joke!)

Person_one

Kiboko wrote: »

and you could do exactly the same. I dislike the fact that you have an issue with my wanting to raise my daughters to respect themselves,to be ready for the outside world, i dislike the fact that you expect me to change my view of the world to yours because you say so - i don't think your view is irrelevant so much as you think mine is, I have children it colours my view you will not accept that and think that your theories are more relevant than my experiences. That I have an issue with.

90% of that is your misreadings of my posts.

Please, put me on ignore, seriously, its very simple and it will make the forum much more pleasant for you!

POPPYOSCAR

I have never put anyone on ignore, I just do not let posters get to me as much as they would like!

I have read somewhere though that it makes the thread more difficult to follow.

Person_one

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I have never put anyone on ignore, I just do not let posters get to me as much as they would like!

I have read somewhere though that it makes the thread more difficult to follow.

It is a complete pain, you can still see that they've posted, you can still see their posts quoted, it makes discussions disjointed but doesn't make the person disappear enough for it to be worth the faff! I don't bother with it anymore.

I have no desire to 'get to' Kikobo at all, I don't really understand her OTT reaction to me. For one thing, I've never wished death on her, while she has on me!

Kiboko

Person_one wrote: »

90% of that is your misreadings of my posts.

Please, put me on ignore, seriously, its very simple and it will make the forum much more pleasant for you!

No, I do not misread your posts, you truly believe your views more valid than anyone elses. If you once, just once acknowledged that anyone else had a valid view that was different to yours I would leave well alone, you won't, you are that arrogant.

poet123

Kiboko wrote: »

and you could do exactly the same. I dislike the fact that you have an issue with my wanting to raise my daughters to respect themselves,to be ready for the outside world, i dislike the fact that you expect me to change my view of the world to yours because you say so - i don't think your view is irrelevant so much as you think mine is, I have children it colours my view you will not accept that and think that your theories are more relevant than my experiences. That I have an issue with.

I agree with you on this issue.

I don't see why you should use the ignore button and thus not see posts you may disagree with and wish to answer. For me, the ignore button is irrelevant and I would never use it. It is an admission that one poster annoys you so much that you cannot deal with them, who would knowingly give someone that satisfaction?

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I agree with you on this issue.

I don't see why you should use the ignore button and thus not see posts you may disagree with and wish to answer. For me, the ignore button is irrelevant and I would never use it. It is an admission that one poster annoys you so much that you cannot deal with them, who would knowingly give someone that satisfaction?

Very subtle Poet. :rotfl: