TTC without support of some family members.

SqueekyMouse

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Just wanted to interject here - this is incorrect. Losing 10% of your body weight is actually beneficial to TTC as it can kick start ovulation (overweight women are slightly more prone to longer cycles etc). There is no reason why you shouldn't diet whilst trying, then continue to eat 'sensibly' in pregnancy.

I totally agree that being overweight can reduce fertility - and serious obesity can stop ovulation.

The point I was trying to make is that going on a short term crash diet (one that restricts your intake of required nutrients) is very likely to reduce fertility.

However I was not saying that there is anything wrong with looking at your diet and eating sensibly both in terms of your food choices and your portion sizes in an effort to loose weight while TTC. This approach to food, combined with exercise can be nothing but beneficial in terms of overall health and success when TTC. Although weight loss may be slower this way, ideally healthy eating in this manner could become a way of life.

I think (hope) the OP understood what I meant, and from her comments about her parents' choice of following faddy diets which she does not agree with, I believe she did

Nicki

I'm a bit confused as to why anyone needs support from anyone other than their partner and the dad to be in TTC. And I speak as someone who had major fertility issues, a couple of miscarriages and fertility treatment to conceive two out of my three children.

My own view is that if you need emotional "support" from anyone other than your partner to try to conceive, before you even start out on that journey, then either your relationship with your partner is not strong enough yet to have a child together, or you are too young and emotionally immature to be considering it. Sorry to be so blunt.

In your shoes I would forget for a moment about the endo, and think long and hard about whether you are ready at this point in your life to be a parent. It is a decision from which there is no going back. As others have pointed out, your endo symptoms may be exactly the same after the baby is born, even if it lessens while you are pregnant. Would you be fit and well enough to look after a newborn in your current state of health? If not, who would help you to do so and how would you, and they, afford this with your existing financial commitments? Other than having a baby, what other ambitions do you have in your life, and will these still be achievable if you have a child at 20?

If having thought hard about whether this is the right time in your life to start your family, you conclude that it is, you have two choices:

1. You lie to your parents, and tell them you are going to wait for a while until you are in a better state of health and more financially secure, and only tell them when you have conceived and have had your 12 week scan. There are lots of other places to get support when TTC even with problems, such as online forums like the TTC thread here, Baby and Bump, Bounty, Fertility Friend, Netmums, etc.

2. You tell your father to mind his own business, continue to discuss matters with your mother, and live with the consequences that this may cause to your relationship with your father and the relationship between your mum and dad. Though you might find that your partner would rather your mum didnt know the ins and outs of your TTC journey either!

newcook

In all honesty, you don’t actually know yet if it will take you ages to conceive – it may be that you’ll come off the pill and get pregnant straight away.

If I were you I’d come off the pill and get some OPK’s and a digital thermometer and start tracking your body for ovulation (and use a different form of contraception in the meantime while you get the hang of it). You may also find (as I did) that those stubborn pounds will shift without the pill!

I’d been on the pill for 13 years when I stopped taking it and after some research decided to OPK and temp just to make sure I still worked ok.

GingerBiscuit_3

Hi everyone,

Thanks again for all your support and kind words. I can also see that a few people have raised some further concerns that they wanted to make sure I had taken on board.

My fiance and I have had long discussions over whether this is the best thing for us. We have discussed money, the effects it will have on our relationship, and lots more besides. I know that we are expecting a bit of a wait for me to become pregnant, but we would be just as delighted and prepared if we were to conceive this month, as we would be if it were to happen in a few years.

My health is a big issue at the moment, and of course I want to do everything I can to make sure both the baby and I are as healthy as can be. That does mean losing some weight, getting stronger and fitter physically. I know that although my consultant has been hopeful that pregnancy will help reduce my endo symptoms, it may be the case that it does not. I understand this, and whilst it would be wonderful if the symptoms were allieved, I am fully prepared to cope with both pregnancy and a newborn alongside the endo.

I'm very grateful for everyone's comments, both positive and precautionary. It has given us a lot to discuss, and I feel now more than ever, that we are making the right decision.

With regards to the family, I let my Dad think about things for a few days, then he called me himself to chat, and barely mentioned our previous conversations at all, other than to let me know that he cared about me and wanted to make sure I was healthy. My Mum has been incredibly supportive, and has even bought me the book 'What to Expect Before You're Expecting', which looks like a good read. The rest of the family, we will take as they come- the news has spread like wildfire! But I feel no need to explain ourselves to them, and am happy with our decision.

I hope to see some of you on the TTC boards soon!